Swindlers, Frauds and Thieves

Friends and readers.

They changed the rules to protect their bonuses in case of collapse. The chairman was former PM Cameron’s ”corporate responsibility” adviser. CEO paid himself more than £6 million in 5 years and while the company was sliding down the tubes he trousered more than a million quid towards his retirement.

The board have pocketed more than £12 million since 2012. Taxpayers money was siphoned off straight into their pockets. This is CARILLON and that is the reality.

Breaking it down. Former finance chief Richard Adam got a million pound package in 2016 and has collected £6.5 million since 2009. Chairman Philip Green copped £215,000 in 2016 and £193,000 in 2015. Carillon will continue to pay chief executive Richard Howson a salary of £660,000 till October 2018 plus £28,000 in benefits.

This is massive fraud by any other name and these creatures must be made accountable for their deceit and thieving.

Former finance chief Zafar Khan who has left the company gets £450,000 in base salary for 12 months. Interim chief executive Keith Cochran will be paid his £750,000 salary until July but he left the company in February.

This organisation run by these criminals have several major projects in Scotland including Aberdeen’s new £745 million bypass and a £23 million platform extension at Edinburgh’s Waverley.

This mess friends and readers is a stark warning to Westminster, Holyrood and local authorities about the privatistion of public services.
While these greedy thieving fuckers at the top of this organisation have been stealing from the taxpayer hundreds of ordinary workers many who probably have families will be wondering how to pay bills and mortgages in February.

We have previously warned our own City Council about the preferred contractors system which is wide open to abuse and certainly does not give best value, maybe now they might take a serious look at this policy, and change it.

it is hard to imagine fraud on this scale and right in front of their Tory pals, although we did go through the mess that Goodwin left the Royal Bank Of Scotland in, and he managed to run off with his pension pot intact leaving the taxpayers to clean up his mess. No criminal charges were ever brought against Goodwin and he almost brought the Country to it’s knees.

It’s almost certain no criminal charges will be brought against the thieves of Carillion and they will slide off back to the rocks they crawled out from under rubbing their greedy hands together. Once again the people witness corporate fraud and once again on a massive scale and once again the taxpayers may have to foot part of the bill.

Peoples lives and jobs will now be affected but not the greedy fuckers who stole taxpayers money, no they get off scott free to enjoy their stolen loot. These bastards should be in a fairer world not allowed to gain from failure, be made to return all the money they have stolen and their assets sold off to repay some of the debt and charged with fraud and embezzlement, but they won’t it’s easier to fuck up the ordinary worker, it’s easier to penalise them, it always is.

Nothing Done.

Friends and readers.

Some time ago we covered the Cameron House Community Centre scandal and the corrupt practices at play. Now our friends over at the Evening News tell us that there was over £150,000 work on the building without it being tendered for. Now Sucks is nor known for pulling it’s punches and certainly not on this occasion, some fucker got a bung, is that clear enough.

We named City official Peter huffy Watton as the clown who issued a completion certificate when the building was neither complete or safe, and yet he gets off scott free, no doubt blaming some other poor bastard further down the food chain. We named the now retired Mike the fraud Rosendale as another chancer who got off scott free plus a golden handshake for his part in this travesty. Both part of a Council which was given the title of the most corrupt Council in the country.

Officials running wild doing as they please unaccountable to in some cases inexperienced Councillors and in other cases complicit with them. We called for a full investigation into the Sue three jobs Bruce era citing evidence which wasn’t even glanced at, and now we have the invisible Andy pale face kerr and his side kick Paul sleekit Lawrence, yes friends Edinburgh is open for business.

Now that Burns, Hinds and co have departed the scene there is an opportunity to make officials accountable for their actions, no one voted for them yet they can thwart policy at will, take the localities as an example, whereby delaying what was official policy backed by the Scottish Government these faceless overpaid nonentities managed with a little help from the Tories and the treacherous Greens to stop it in it’s tracks, and who was chiefly responsible, yes friends sleekit Lawrence side kick of Chief pale face Kerr.

If the Evening News wants to do a bit of investigative journalism and not just a mouth piece then just ask our old pal and News columnist Steve jambo Cardownie, it’s a cert he knows where all the skeletons are buried, he had his own personal spade.

Time To Tax

Friends and readers.

Our old mate Gavin nee naw Barrie Convener of Economic Development makes a good point about the rip off costs of staying in Edinburgh over Hogmany. Upwards of £300 pounds a night to enjoy the delights of the City’s Hogmany bash and we add not a penny piece to the City coffers. Gav is just a sentence off saying a bedroom tax would be appropriate in these rip off circumstances.

We want to attract punters to come and visit our City what we don’t want is them going away feeling they were ripped off, we need them to be leaving with what Cleopatra said to Mark Antony, IF YOU LIKED IT TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS.

The City is entitled to make a buck or two out of the event with the money hopefully being reinvested in the City making it even more attractive to visit. But if you just look a little closer it’s not just the hotels that are ripping people off, everything from the greasy burger stall to the greedy pub landlords look to screw the punter for as much as they can get.

Of course all the ready made excuses are churned out but the exercise in ripping the punters off is a practised art at this time of the year. The introduction of a local, let’s call it a City dividend over the festive period would inject more cash into the City coffers something that is always needed. The £1 a head bedroom tax in some instances is laughable given the profiteering that goes on so a closer examination of what hotels and guest houses are charging or in this case over charging would help set a more realistic dividend for the City. But not only the rip off hotels must come into this equation but all the festive robbers should be made to pay a dividend to the City, set by how much they overcharge the visiting mug punter.

There is no doubt that the Hogmany bash generates income for the City but they too are being ripped off by knowingly allowing this profiteering to go on. The obvious argument is what can we do, but if you don’t try then you won’t know. Task a few over paid fat cat officials to prepare a paper which looks at the ways Edinburgh and it’s citizens can maximise it’s income while still looking to improve it’s image to the visitor.

It only take a few punters to complain about being ripped off for it to escalate into a damage limitation exercise.

Out With A Bang

Friends and readers.

2018 is upon us and all to play for yet again. The squibs went off good style and not a sign of the Hogmany stalwart Jackie plastic Bird, she was otherwise occupied being miserable in sunny Glasgow clearly wishing she was somewhere else, but hey the moneys good so mixing with the punters is a price our Jackie had to pay.

Over on STV was something that went beyond rubbish, a revamped version of the worst television show in living memory Thingamajig, so bad it made riveting viewing, there are few words to describe how bad this was, made standing in princess street freezing your bollocks off with somebody pissing in your pocket seem like a pleasant evening even at £25 quid a pop.

It will be interesting to see the final figure minus Underbelly’s cut, but if the City benefits then good job.

Edinburgh’s Hogmany shows the City in good light and with the event going off without a hitch then it was a good advertisement for the City so well done to all involved. The same can’t be said for the trash offered to the viewing punter on STV, what a disaster and badly staged managed as well. Brought back memory’s of the bad old days when the visiting punter should they have had a TV in their hotel room or the stay at home punter switched on to see the Gay Gordons [that's a dance friends] or the Dashing White corporal or is it sergeant recorded in July for viewing on Hogmany.

Once again STV bought the cheap seats while the BBC even with the party animal Jackie plastic Bird looking like misery personified gave the viewing punter an enjoyable evening going between the two main gigs in Edinburgh and Glasgow. All in all the BBC saved Scotland’s skin and may well pay dividends in tourist bucks.

For the rest Xmas TV was worse than shit and many would have prayed for the Great Escape to be slotted in such was the crap that was dished up, not everybody has the money pit of SKY TV to view the latest drivel on offer. Forgettable comes to mind but we did get the Wizard of Oz, that yellow brick road must have more cracks and potholes than the pavements and streets of Auld Reekie. We did get an omnibus edition of the Antiques road trip and if we see another of these smug bastards crowing on about how much this or that is worth we will throw our imitation silver plated ash tray at the fuckin TV screen.

You could buy a bumper edition of the TV or Radio Times which falls apart after a couple of thumb throughs even the staples that hold them together are shit, to select which of the repeated delights to watch. If you had freeview on your flat screen HD TV then you would have had even more channels of shit to choose from, three days of carry on films is more than anyone can take plus the umpteenth repeat of Minder or the professionals. You really had to search to find something that was not a repeat and you knew things were bad when the Xmas edition of Songs Of Praise started to look attractive.

The usual James Bond films which are mildly entertaining even if you have seen them a few times, at least they offered sanctuary for a couple of hours. If watching the Royal family walking to church is your thing then we were treated to it several times with the mug punters who queue up to flag wave desperate to get a glimpse of the new royal bride to be, exciting eh, made a family Xmas dinner seem digestible. We had the usual Morcambe and Wise clips but at least they are funny and stand the test of time.

Then came the great gong giveaway with the great and the good getting knighted or dame hooded or whatever it’s called with a smattering of gongs for the underlings just to show the elite are in touch with the common punter. Nick Clegg getting a Knighthood took some swallowing but after all he and his mob propped up the ruling class so it’s the least they can do.

So it’s almost back to reality and the usual shit on TV, nice to see some things never change.


Keep Smiling

Friends and readers.

We at Pilton Sucks have been wondering about our mate Lewis smiler Ritchie. Councillor smiler had as you will all remember taken leave of absence from his Council duties due to a health issue, well that’s what we were told anyway so we know it probably wasn’t that which led to smilers sudden departure. As a leading light in the SNP leith clique smiler was made convener of Planning a role which he was not shall we say suited for and several blunders later he was on his bike to recuperate.

Well what a pleasant surprise it was when we heard that smiler seemingly fully recovered from whatever mysterious ailment he had suffered from was spotted in his colourful Lycra outfit at the gym within the Scottish Parliament fighting fit and doing the brown nose jive. On further investigation we were delighted to hear that smiler has been a regular at said gym and was now able to brown nose whilst working out.

So we take it that the City Chambers could well have smiler back in rude health soon, and we bet Adam head scratcher McVey will be delighted about that. Our mate Adam may well have to juggle a few balls in the air when welcoming smiler back to the fold given he will know the real reason smiler done a runner.

Rumours are abound about why smiler downed tools and decided to spend more time down the gym brown nosing and keeping fit of course but you know what rumours are 90% true 10% probably.

So as new year is almost on us and the Hogmany party in Princess Street gets geared up for that super duper Jackie Bird free jamboree [she's in Glasgow instead thank god] we can all toast smilers return to health but with a slightly browner nose.

On The Nose.

Friends and readers.

We have a result for the much sought after prat of the year award. With our old pal and legend in her own lunch time Lesley Prada Hinds retiring undefeated, she was always going to be a hard act to follow. But having had all the votes independently counted and verified the result is as follows.

There were 331 votes cast we also had 17 votes which were ineligible.

In third place polling 33 votes was Willie community socialist Black.

In second place polling 91 votes was Tommy Pinocchio Sheppherd.

In first place polling 94 votes winning by a small margin of three after a recount was Ellie flighty Bird.

Congratulations to our new prat of the year champion after a keenly fought contest.

The remaining 113 votes were distributed between the other nominees.

So that’s it for another year folks, our festive contest is over with a new champ crowned by a couple of whiskers.

Neck And Neck

Friends and readers.

A few of our readers have been asking about our prestigious prat of the year contest, so we can tell you that the voting was close and has gone to an independent adjudicator to determine the result.

All the votes have been counted and the spoilt votes and hard to decipher votes have been removed. The top five candidates were as follows and in no particular order.

Ellie flighty Bird.
Tommy Pinocchio Sheppherd.
Willie community socialist Black.
Scot the leak Arthur.
Cammy squint tie Day.

There were a few nominees who didn’t make the cut so commiserations to them. So these are the five who received the most votes and we can tell you it was close with the winner who will be announced tomorrow 26-12-17 winning by a very small margin.

Bet You CAN

Friends and readers.

Today we begin to take a closer look at an organisation that has arrived in the North of the City from seemingly nowhere, that is until you take a keener look at it.

CAN or Community Action North is an organisation devised it appears by a few people who have managed to secure we have found out between the local Council and the Scottish Government close to half a million pounds, and how much of that will go on salaries and to who, it begins to remind us of the days of that other cabal the Pilton Partnership.

We have also learned that Neighbourhood manager Pete formerly the perm Strong has been involved with this group, why? unless it’s to dish out money that could be better spent elsewhere. It reminds Sucks of the bad old Labour days when they created Community projects filled them with their own supporters and payed them from the taxpayers purse.

We at Sucks will be investigating in depth to see who is involved with this organisation and who is being paid and for what. It would not surprise us if it was punters who have been round the block before and know all the dodges and scams and or have been involved with the Labour party in some form or other.

Watch Out.

Friends and readers.

The Xmas panic is in full swing so let us tell you of a tale of disaster and mayhem in all this hyped up mirth.

Saturday 22-12-17 is blind panic day and this is no more blatant than if you are unfortunate or stupid enough to take your life in your hands and go to the Supermarket.

First you have to negotiate the formula 1 type car park whether you drive or not. There is something about Supermarket car parks that make punters take leave of their senses as they grapple for that elusive space with a steely gaze of hate in their eyes. Pedestrians watch out for these incensed punters will mow you down should you attempt to walk across the space they are attempting to manoeuvre into while taking the wing mirror off the the car which has just not quite in the allocated space but just slightly over the white line making it a bit more difficult for the now enraged driver to get in.

Having done that ignoring that they have taken off the wing mirror of a fellow panicker it’s now time to try and get out of the door which only opens a couple of inches and requires the skills of an Olympian gymnast to slide out without pulling several muscles in the process. Having done that with a modicum of success it’s now time to get the big trolley which needs a pound coin to release which of course you don’t have pushing the blood pressure further towards bursting point.

Ingenuity is required and the punter needs to regroup and look for a discarded shopping trolley usual found half way up the street or on it’s side in the bushes. And indeed the punter finds one lying lop sided taking up a parking space which has caused a tail back in the car park because the punter trying to get into the space is thinking what to do about the discarded shopping trolley. So our intrepid shopper solves their problem and frees up a parking space.

Once inside the Supermarket entrance avoiding the confrontation with the Big Issue seller dressed in a dirty looking Santa Claus suit the first thing that grabs our intrepid shoppers attention is the awful music blaring from the tannoy system in between breaks for the faceless announcer to tell us all that cashier 5 is having a problem as a customer has dropped her family sized Chocolate gateau with full fat cream on the ground causing the queue to grind to a halt with world war 3 about to break out unless the stressed out chap with the over sized uniform comes along with his mop to clean up the mess which has already spread a few yards down the aisle as the marauding punters ignore the customers plight and plow straight on to the next available cashier.

Our intrepid shopper looks right and left and dashes into the body of the hall and into the madding crowd. The trolley wars are in full swing as the more experienced shopper uses their trolley as a battering ram shoving the less experienced shopper head first into the French Fancies. The more wily shopper with toddler in tow sits the little darling in the front of the trolley who then proceeds to lash out at passing shoppers threatening to projectile vomit at them if they don’t get out of the way.

But onwards and upwards for our intrepid shopper with that we will fight them on the beaches we will never surrender mentality as they fight their way through the wads of crazed shoppers who are already in the heat of battle to get that must have packet of pigs blankets and all the other Xmas dinner goodies that make you feel ill just looking at them. Screaming kids enraged adults and shopping trolleys that could have been used in Star Wars all engaged in that race for the line and a place in the checkout queue which doesn’t have a punter in front of you with 6 months shopping that takes forever to stack up on the conveyor belt and moves so slowly it makes Scotmid look fast.

The booze shelves are emptying faster than the minimum wage employee can stack them while the wine connoisseur who may disappear up his own ass hole if he takes to long pondering on the grape which has gone into making Morrisons Chateau shit [there's always one isn't there] as the average joe grabs the 20 cans of Carlsberg for a tenner and a couple of bottles of jerkov Vodka for 8 quid a time.

The turkeys are barely dead as the punters grab the biggest ones an eating turkey into February becomes a reality. Crackers are always a big come on don’t know why as a large percentage of them are shit with no big bang for your buck. Then there is the punter yes there is always one who while at the check out tells the cashier that they have forgotten to get that must have packet of frozen sprouts and will only be a minute while they go and get them leaving the punters behind them in the queue looking for rope to hang the stupid fucker and of course with modern technology to fuck with your head the cashier can’t serve anybody else until the idiot who forgot the frozen sprouts comes back, and that’s unlikely to be for at least another 10 minutes.

Yes friends all this and more at a Supermarket near you.


Jingling Bellows

Friends and readers.

The heating has been on for those who have somewhere to live and the utility cartels are jumping for joy as the cold weather continues to be their best friend. But never mind that because we have been bombarded by the advertising guru’s to buy the must have gifts for Xmas and bugger the consequences.

The mass hysteria which overcomes the nation at this time of year does little to enhance our caring side and we forget that it is quality not quantity which improves life for all. The obscene nature of some of the TV programmes which delight in showing how much is spent and the shit it is spent on shows just how much we have stooped as a society.

We are encouraged to spend spend spend as well as eat and drink to over flowing levels and we are supposed to enjoy it or be tarred as party poopers. Well fuck that as household debt rises to danger levels again. Many of us have bought into the Xmas race determined to out spend the person next to you and grab whatever shit you can regardless of the futility of it all.

For parents this must be their worst financial nightmare as the demands put on them to get their little darling the latest I Phone shit or the latest X box crap and that’s just for the under 10′s the cost massively escalates the older the off spring is. No longer content with an overpriced make you puke selection box and the Oor Willie annual and such like, oh no fuck that it’s the high tech gadgets that can cause havoc in the sky’s or the up to date communication gizmo’s that are top of the list that Santa has to come up with or you will be forever cursed by your little darlings.

At one time if you looked out of your window of an Xmas morning you might have caught sight of a youngster on their new scooter or bike, not now more likely you will be attacked by a drone or a low flying helicopter which the kid in question hasn’t quite got the hang of controlling yet. The rest of the little darlings are either locked in their rooms killing people on these all to realistic games or sending texts on their new super duper all singing and dancing I Phone in a language which the code breakers at GCHQ would have a problem deciphering.

Probably won’t see them all day which may be a blessing in disguise and if you are really lucky you won’t see them until it’s time to go back to school in their soon to be bought new uniform since they have grown about a foot with all that chemically injected junk food they eat mercilessly.

Yes it’s a fun time if you are a squirrel, just get your nuts and sleep for a few months, until its warm again. Sounds like a good idea gather a few things nuts included and fuckin hibernate, only to be woken up by a little darling screaming that they can’t get a fuckin reception on their new phone.