Monthly Archives: June 2013

Rock An Roll Politics

Friends and readers.

A curious reader wrote in asking where the pop concert in Pilton was. She said that she had found the empty Domino pizza boxes, the discarded matresses even the obligatory shopping trolleys and single shoe but no music, well nothing she could call music, she added that there was a sweet smell of Amsterdam tobacco in the air.

We had to tell our reader she was searching in the wrong Pilton, It’s Pilton Glastonbury not Pilton North Edinburgh. But that gave as an idea for a pop concert in out very own Pilton. It’s unlikely we could attract the Rolling Stones or the Artic Monkeys or even Elvis Costello, but we could have our own home made rock groups and make them local. We thought about our dog fouling Czar Cammy Day. He could have his own rock band, possibly Cammy and the squint ties or Cammy and the poo lifters.

And let us not put our old mate and regular Sucks reader Prada Hinds nose out of joint, the chair of everything could have Prada and the designers headlining on our own Jerry built stage, possibly on one of the many vacant trash ridden supposed building sites. Pete the perm Strong could be the impresario and master of ceremonies. Yes dear friends it wouldn’t match Glastonbury or T in the Park but  Woodstock revisited is a possibility but then again with the crowds it might likely attract you may miss the music if you got stuck in the Scot mid queue.

We just can’t get no satisfaction.

Pete’s Hiding In The Long Grass

Friends and readers.

Pete the perm and Labour Party fundraiser Strong our friendly Neighbourhood manager and democratic revolutionary has been trying to keep off the radar and out of sight while he continues to plot the dismantling of the Forth Neighbourhood partnership with the help of our very own dog fouling czar Cammy squint tie Day.

Man of the people and friend of the underdog Pete has himself we are told wondering what he does to earn his more than average wage, yes Pete the poverty industry in Pilton is very lucrative for some. Pete who cherishes the punters right to have their say as long as the decision is made before they have their say haunts the corridors of the West Pilton Gardens Office casting his rather rotund shadow having an almost total eclipse of the building.

Nevertheless Pete does venture out into the real world now and again usually in disguise as a worker. The Heathcliff of Forth can often be seen rambling through the very long grass and unkept vacant sites of Muirhouse and surrounding area, of course watching he might not step in something nasty. As he makes his way through the abandoned shopping trolleys and discarded Mattresses, carefully avoiding the broken glass and unwanted Argos catalogs, Pete meanders his way back to his bolthole where he can hide avoiding any decisions which might benefit non Labour party hacks.

Should he by chance spot a local worthy he can always duck down into the long grass hold his breath and pray he isn’t spotted. But please be careful Pete because as you hastily dive down into the very long and unkept grass you may land almost certainly land in something that isn’t to your taste and you certainly won’t come up smelling of roses. Where the hell is Cammy when you need him.

Heating Up

Friends and readers.

Just as you think the sun might be disappearing, and with it the heat, up pops City Park and the temperature with it. We have been made aware of Community feeling and it’s running high. We were told of the farce that was the planning Committee meeting, and we are now told and this comes as a major 40 pieces of silver treachery. The green party councillor on the planning Committee, voted for the development, yes friends the Green Party Councillor.

This Judas who spouts about green space air quality and all the other guff they talk shit about has voted for increased congestion, poorer air quality, less Green space and their so called pet hate more cars. At least we know the Labour Party are back stabbing chancers so you know what you are getting. But this high moral ground Green mob should be exposed for what they are, total liars who don’t give a dam about quality of life certainly not in EH4 EH5. They might appeal to the woolly  jerseyed  Guardian reading mob but  then again who gives a dam about that lot.

Pilton Sucks and it would seem a growing number of residents of the Community are scunnered by what has happened, if ever there was a bad decision this one was the daddy of them all. We read the design objection report and it was a well thought out and drafted document with cohesive arguments and undisputable facts about why this development should never be allowed to go ahead.

We think that the line which sums it all up was we understand said by one of the objectors to the application. If this were a boxing match the ref would have stopped it before the fight had begun. We agree this development should have been given the KO.

I Spy With My Little Eye

Friends and readers.

Phone hacking, dodgy e-mail hacking, everybody spying on everybody else and that’s just North Edinburgh.

Computer Analyst Edward Snowden who provided the Guardian with top secret NSA documents leading to revelations about US surveillance on phone and internet communications is at this time in Moscow awaiting asylum to somewhere or other Equador seemingly the chosen hotspot.

We at Pilton Sucks have an option for Mr. Snowden and we are sure he is hacking in at this very moment so Eddie what about Asylum in Muirhouse, it’s unlikely anybody will look for you in there even the dogs are frightened to shit there. You can enjoy the fine climate and the variety of shopping available and you can even have a bet in one of the many local gambling joints on weather you will be caught.

You could enjoy a quite drink in the fabulous up market boozer The Gunner and even the secret service won’t go in there. You can enjoy lazy calming walks on the overgrown vacant sites that were supposed to have houses going up on them or possibly be a little more adventurous and venture up to one of the worse shopping parades the civilised world has to offer,  the shops at Drylaw. All forms of life are there and some as yet undiscovered, in fact during the cold war it was rumoured that the British Government threatened the Russians that if they invaded Britain they would make them take over the Drylaw shops, the politburo met late into the night and decided that this was tantamount to suicide and backed down trying it on in Cuba instead.

So Eddie give it some thought, we know you may think Equador is the better of the two options because if you were really unlucky the Council might allocate you a delightful little flat in Birnies Court, so on second thoughts Equador doesn’t sound to bad at least you won’t have to worry about stepping in something that might leave a trail. Where’s Cammy when you need him.


Friends and readers

More information has reached our ears concerning the mischief making at Granton Youth Center.

It appears dear friends that there was moves by both Prada Hinds behind the scenes and Cammy squint tie Day to try and manipulate a former employee of NEN into post at Granton Youth Center and we understand using the withdrawal of their grant as a covert threat should they not do what the comrades wanted. Although information is sketchy due to intimidation, we understand the board has stood firm in the face of threats and intimidation and we are told will not be bullied by Prada and squint tie.

We have already told you about the intimidating e-mails sent to the Chair of GYC although we have not seen them, knowing the comrades as we do this would not be out of character. We understand that Cammy is on the board of PYCP and clearly should not be involving himself in another projects business. This dear friends is the creeping virus of Labour, do what they want or face the consequences  Pilton Sucks has seen it all before.

Developers 1 Community 0

Friends and readers

City Park is now lost to the community after the Labour dominated Planning Committee voted 8-5 to pass the application to develop City Park for housing.

Our representative who was in the public gallery told us she was disgusted at the way in particular that local councillor Cammy squint tie Day spoke in favour of the development. Once again the comrades have sold the people down the river helping turn this Community into a concrete jungle.

Our rep told us that the developers presentation was worse than pathetic but they had the backing of a spineless planning department ignoring anything the opposers had to say. She told us that the Community Council and the City Park action group put up an excellent argument but it finally fell on deaf ears although it has to be said all the SNP members of the Committee voted against the development.

As our rep left the meeting she spotted comrade Day locked in conversation with the developers. At this point should comrade Day not have declared a conflict of interest as vice Chair of Housing before he spoke in favour of the development. When will the electorate of North Edinburgh learn that the Labour Party will do nothing for them and this dear friends is a classic example. We are sure that after Cammy’s Judas like performance his next job will to be make sure there is no dog shit on City Park. That’s where Cammy will be when you need him.

Incredible But True

Friends and Readers.

You may remember we told you of the Greed and stupidity of the City Tram project, and how our good mate and regular Sucks reader and dear friends Chair of Everything Prada Hinds has no idea what’s going on with this over run, over priced, unpopular white elephant and completely unneeded Tram disaster.

But dear friends we have even more farcical and ridiculously news on this black hole project. The latest trough drinker Ian Craig has been given a 25% pay rise, yes it’s true you could not make this up, a 25% pay rise as the new Tram supremo. What entitles this Council fat cat to a pay rise of any kind never mind this bloody financial disaster. Did our mate and regular Sucks reader Prada know about this, did she object to it, or turn away and give the, nothing to do with me line. More likely the later, wrong person at the wrong time.

Prada’s ambition knows no bounds but her ability clearly does. The Chair of everything has a duty to stop this gravy train and get rid of the money sucking no users who are riding on this train. At least this gravy train is in operation more than can be said for a Tram system, which is badly managed, grossly over budget, will need an operators licence which is some time off. Prada is massively out of her depth but her greed knows no bounds so why should Craigs. A 25% pay rise at a time of tight budgets and little or no pay increase for staff shows very clearly where the priorities lie.

We are disgusted by what is happening as are the majority of our citizens, and those in charge of turning a blind eye to these ridicules pay increases should think carefully about their own position, but dear friends there is no chance of that.

Game Set And Match-Not Quite!

Friends and readers.

More information has reached the ever vigilant ears of Pilton Sucks, and it concerns the dubious sale of City Park.

As we reported there are huge gaps in the application made by Link Housing/Smarts and it now appears not only according to a strong Community rumour but a reliable source based at the City Chambers that there is in existence a commercial arrangement between former owners of City Park,  Spartans football Club and the City Council.

This arrangement made as we understand some time ago is on a mortgage type basis where Spartans have agreed to pay the City Council we believe somewhere close to £80,000 a year over 30 years. This dear friends amounts to a minimum of £2,400,000. Given that the City are hoping to sell City Park for £5,000,000 this appears that they are trying to sell it twice. We are sure that the City will have worked this one out and will have bland answers for this.

This is at best suspicious and the Community needs answers to know exactly what our City Fathers are up to. We know that the sale of City Park is a simple revenue raising exercise and to hell with the Community and any objections they might have, but to try and what looks like selling it twice is very questionable.

We must also ask the questions, Why have the Planners already recommended the sale of City Park before any of the objections have been heard?  And why was there at least 20 submissions by the applicants allowed after the closing date of 24th April? And most obvious of all why when Miller’s application was refused on density of 134 when the council themselves limited the density to 133 are even considering an application which has a density of 201? Which means dear friends that they will have to revisit and overturn their own ruling. Strange indeed.

Readers Ideas

Friends and readers.

Our weekend in Wick post seems to have gone down well with some of our readers and we have been given some thoughts about other possible fun towns.

One reader thought that Torment in Thurso might be a good start having been stranded there when he missed his bus. Another thought that Horror in Hamilton was another possibility after she took a wrong turn at a roundabout and ended up there.

Keep them coming, we always welcome your thoughts and ideas. Given these thoughts what about being forced to spend a wet weekend in East Kilbride, now there’s a thought to send shivers down your spine.


Truely Obscene

Friends and readers.

In Cameron’s all in it together society we have yet another example of that bullshit crap.

Atos the French company brought in to hammer those on welfare benefits have announced that their head honcho Thierry Breton is to receive a pay rise of £280,000. This dear friends is in stark contrast to the many thousands of Scots who have been plunged into poverty after Atos assessed them as able to work under stringent Government rules.

This lot have a £1.6billion Government contract to take benefits from those many of whom are clearly unable to sustain employment. This characters package of pay bonuses and perks is now a mind numbing £2,329,250. Atos goes with the philosophy that if you can blink you can work. Recently a former employee of Atos leaked that she was forced to trick people out of their benefits and felt disgusted at what she was instructed to do.

We think that Breton and his parasitical kind feed off the misery of others backed by a callous Government intent on hammering the most vulnerable in our society, while encouraging  tax dodgers to scam even more than they already are. Fatcat and mercenary Breton may feel he doesn’t earn enough for the stealth tactics operated by Atos.

We at Pilton Sucks have just the job for him so he can top up his income. He could be employed picking up the dog shit in North Edinburgh. Where’s Cammy when you need him. Yes friends and readers once more it’s clear to everybody that we are all in it together.