Monthly Archives: March 2014

Awards R Us

Friends and readers.

Pilton Sucks has successfully run prat of the year for some time and we were asked by a reader recently if there wasn’t some other award that could be given out. Well Pilton Sucks ever eager to please our wide and growing readership scratched our heads and asked around at what the punters might be interested in. There were a number of options but the most popular answer we got was a  chancer of the year award.

Now there are a number of suitable candidates that the crown of chancer of the year would sit comfortably on, and a couple of outstanding individuals that have made chancer their middle name. Pilton Sucks would not want to influence anybody so we will keep our choice to ourselves for the moment. You can go as far back as you like in the Community’s history, and boy did we have some legendary chancers who made it an art form, characters whose names trip off the tounge who spent their time in the Community chancing their arm and with a straight face as well.

As well as the excellent book, History of Granton there should have been a book about the chancers that have come and gone over the years. Ah memories and a few laughs along the way, as chancer after chancer seen this Community as a ladder to climb the greasy pole. Oh we could wax lyrically about the promises that were made only to be broken just as quick. Those who have lived here a long time will be able to run off name after name who came into this Community with a Trojan Horse under their arm, only to run off when they had got what they wanted leaving the punters scratching their asses and wondering what happened and how they were worse off than before.

We could write a book about some of the scams that these chancers got up to, all in the cloak of respectability and promises that were made up on the hoof. We have been gifted with chancers a plenty, and still they come making the same promises, only the script changes as does the faces, well some of them. Politicians have come and gone but the dog shit still piles up[where's Cammy when you need him] and we are still treated as the rear end of the pantomime horse. Those that thought they were Moses kept us in the desert, while promising the promised land, yet still we have one of the highest unemployment rates in the country.

Our young people still face the same problems they did before only it’s worse now. We still get the scrapes off the masters table, only this time we have Pete[formerly he perm] Strong to make an ever bigger mess. We also have his alter ego Henry 2 jobs Houdini coyle, housing manager, that’s a laugh. Oh yes dear friends chancers a plenty and it would be easier to win the lottery than to pick a chancer amongst the many we have had the misfortune to encounter over the years. We could form a Committee to pick out a suitable chancer who would fit all the criteria required and we could dear friends get Prada Hinds to chair it, might as well she chairs everything else, one drawback though she couldn’t vote for herself as that would be a conflict of interest.

The amounts of money that have passed through this Community or should we say bypassed this Community is staggering and still the chancers come to drink from the well of taxpayers dosh. Still there is an apprenticeship to serve to qualify as a 24 carrot chancer pity there was never real apprenticeships for the punters but still there is always shelf stacking in Morrisons until the promised land arrives. So there you have it friends it’s up to you vote or nominate it’s up to you, you are spoilt for choice. There is as we say no time bar you can go as far back in time as you want, and nominate or vote for as many chancers as you want. There will be of course only one winner so the winning chancer will have to have shown exceptional qualities and be of a stature suitable to be crowned chancer of the year.

Could It Be Magic

Friends and readers.

Having read Death of a Salesman in the Scotmid queue, we know how Willie Lomax must have felt. Poor Willie ending up selling himself, while the same goes for the punters in the Scotmid queue who end up talking to themselves. The chap  with marmalade on his chin and strange stains on his shirt has long since given up hope of any kind of return to sanity and a new Scotmid supplied shirt.

But dear friends we hear that moves are afoot within the inner circle of Scotmid to relieve the frustration and tedium suffered by the endless queues in Scotmid. We are informed that instead of 4 hour long fag and coffee breaks they will now be cut down to three hour breaks but the staff will receive counseling to come to terms with this harsh new regime, so Scotmid have introduced emergency measures to ensure that the queues don’t get any shorter and the punters don’t get served any quicker, just to ensure continuity of course.

Scotmid are dedicated to best practice, so they are determined to keep prices high and punters queueing and live up to their long tradition of being the worst shopping experience you could possibly have. Scotmid have also promised to up the quality of their training, and will have continuous on the job training, this of course will result in delays in punters being served so we advise not to buy anything that might go off within the month. We understand training will include, operating the checkout while checking to see if their scratch cards have won, upgrading their numerical knowledge so they can add a few pence to everything, adjusting their elbow pads so they can lean longer on the counter and ignoring the punters when they complain about being over charged, coupled with a small list of excuses which will have to be memorised so expect the queues to extend round the block.

We applaud Scotmid for this upskilling of their staff and offering a continuous sub standard service with prices that make your eyes water. We have been assured that the three checkout’s at their Crewe Road North Branch will continue with only one operational with the other two just for show or operational only when there is a rollover on the lottery. We have also been told that music will be played to the frustrated ripped off shopper as they try and figure out why the prices on the cards bear no resemblance to what you are charged at the checkout, when you eventually get there.

We feel blues music would be appropriate as this would match the mood of the frustrated ripped off shopper, or music of hope, hope that you might eventually get served and not get ripped off, forlorn hope we think. But if Jesus was to return we think he might come back as a Scotmid assistant, this might just be what’s needed as God knows a miracle is what’s needed. But even that might not be enough, as when the coffee and fag break whistle sounds, the newly trained Scotmid assistants move quicker than Olympic athletes and will walk on water to get to the front door drinking coffee and lighting a fag both at the same time. Don’t think God could beat that until he gets the Scotmid training.

Row Row Row Your Boat

Friends and readers.

After Vatmans budget, we are all now living in financial utopia. What were we all moaning about. Now those poor millionaires who judge each other by the size of their yachts can rest easy in their beds as no action has been taken against them and they can keep dodging their taxes, while these vile scroungers are hammered further by a Government desperate to bring back an Edwardian type Britain.

We or the Exchequer are owed around 35 billion pounds in tax from the dodgers. The inland revenue failed to collect this sum which is around 7% of the projected tax take from all sources. Now dear friends compare that with the paltry 500 million the bedroom tax was supposed to save and the misery it has created on the way.  We are losing 4 billion pounds in Corporation tax alone due to tax avoidance This huge corporation tax swindle has heaped more and more misery on hard pressed families just as a new round of Con-Dem austerity measures are set to cripple us even more.

It’s abundantly clear that the Con-Dem’s priority is to hammer the poorest rather that closing loopholes that make it easy for big companies to pay no tax.

GOOGLE, STARBUCKS, AMAZON, GLAXOSMITHCLINE, just four of the biggest dodgers who cheat the system and are allowed and it could be argued encouraged to dodge their taxes. So far from all being in it together, tax avoidance is on the rise in Tory austerity Britain. It is hospitals, schools and councils across the country that are being robbed by the very rich as well as being clobbered by a heartless Government intent on destroying public services. This coalition predatory Government have been sickeningly successful at hammering the poor and taking money off the most vulnerable in society, but let the crooks and tax dodgers off the hook.

This lot are encouraging organised crime and we might as well have the Mafia in office, oh wait a minute we do, we have the Eton Mafia organising loopholes for their favoured friends. There are no words or no words strong enough to describe these Eton bullies who have inflicted such misery on those least able to fight back. No opposition as Labour just lurch from one bad idea to another hoping against hope that the voters will chuck the Tories out of office and a less harsh right wing Government will be elected.

Labour won’t change a thing they can’t, they don’t know how to and couldn’t care less. They are a shocking bunch of misfits and the polls show that Ed the ned can’t get a lead or enough to form even a minority administration. Hows that for incompetence. Labour lost their way a long time ago and have been moving to the right for quite some time, and now we see the result, a party who have nothing to offer and less to say, no wonder Vatman and Dobbin have a permanent smug grin on their faces.

The Tories have had no opposition as they have forced through the most reactionary policies in living memory, even they must be surprised at the ease in which they have hammered those who most need help. Milibands mob of mugs have been twisted and turned upside down, shaken all around and placed down on the opposition benches dizzy and empty of anything substantial to replace this financial greed and genocide. While the profits pile up in offshore accounts and the bankers go unpunished, and the richest in our society get fatter on tax cuts, the rest of us support these vagabonds, and pay with as much pain as the Con-Dems can inflict.

The Cat Crept In

Friends and readers.

Today we answer the questions that many have asked, how can Pilton Sucks continue to pump out high quality posts and who is behind this unique style of writing.

The answer to the first question is heart and soul, something that our competitors and critics do not possess and never will. Sucks has raised the discussion bar on Domestic Violence shaming those that do nothing just warble on a lot of bull shit while victims suffer. Sucks has exposed those that try and make a quick buck and run. We will continue to do so. Sucks exposed the serial workplace bullying that was taking place at the Muirhouse Social Work Center naming Former pig farmer Jim Hewitt as the bully who was protected by a spineless department. We continue to monitor Hewitt in case he tries it again.

Sucks has put laughter into politics something that escapes most of our robotic politicians who think everybody is interested in resolutions and policy, they aren’t but are in droves reading what we write and enjoy the exploits of our characters who themselves have become bloging stars thanks to sucks.

Now we have read about who might be the writers on Pilton Sucks and there’s the clue, more than one. We are an international site based in the global arena, and judging by our world wide comments, a good one. We warn those nicely of course that when names are thrown around then Sucks lawyers will be in touch with you. The names we have seen are far off the mark and smack of sour grapes, coming from punters who have been caught out trying their luck but failing.

Communities like Forth have seen many chancers over the years come and go, promise the punters the earth, try and make a few quid then do a runner, it’s all been done before. Before sucks these chancers answered to nobody but now sucks is on your case and the chancers don’t like it. Sucks belongs to no-one and no-one person is responsible how could they with the volume of work  on view. We have just passed our 3 millionth hit and growing. Sucks has a momentum of it’s own and many have thanked us for exposing the rogues amongst us. We have given laughter at a time when it is in short supply, read our Scotmid exploits, our crap job stories, and of course our brand new friends in the North the Infamous 5 and the put upon parents.

National Newspapers have picked up on our stories, The Sunday Mail picked up on our workplace bullying expose. We won plaudits for bringing workplace bullying into the public eye. Our campaign against Domestic Violence has played a small part in bringing this crime further into the public eye, and we welcome the positive comments we have received on this disgusting crime. Sucks is not only a vehicle for exposing the chancers around us and holding politicians to account, we are a vehicle for campaigning on issues that the authorities would rather hide away and do nothing about, Pilton Sucks will hold them to account also.

Two posts that come to mind among the many that have received rave reviews are, Don’t laugh it’s funny and Biblical Bureaucracy. Some comments have said we don’t go far enough and sites like Sucks offer a valuable service in bringing to readers subjects that some would rather keep quite. One or two have tried to have us removed but failed miserably, usually those with something to hide, there is no hiding place from sucks. In fact we are told that some of our public figures are avid readers of sucks and are disappointed if they don’t get a mention, the theory being all publicity is good publicity.

Our sister site Edinburgh Sucks led the way in exposing corruption and we took up the baton and are running with it. We have played a major part in putting the North on the public map and have made stars out of the characters who play out their parts here. We do the North side shuffle and the chancers quick step, and we bring laughter into a drab Tory Britain. Pilton Sucks has declined to partner up with other blog sites preferring to go it alone with the freedom to express ourselves with a style of writing that can’t and won’t be matched.

There you have it. Pilton Sucks is a team effort between writers and characters, and as our readership grows then so we grow also. Sucks has a momentum of it’s own so it’s irrelevant who the writers are or how they do it. So keep reading and enjoy Pilton Sucks.

Largely Cloudy In The East

Friends and readers.

Pilton Sucks has for some time been campaigning for a sterner and more robust approach to the hidden crime of Domestic Violence. We have campaigned and voiced our concerns at the lack of action taken against these cowardly perpetrators. So we were both saddened and angry to hear this week that there is still factions in the police that do not take this hate crime seriously. Any member of the police force not taking this crime seriously should face instant dismissal.

Take a simple parking ticket. If the cash cow motorist does not pay this revenue raising ticket then they will be hounded for ever until they pay or decide to contest it. But if an abuser assaults his partner then you have to move heaven and earth to get anything done. Victims of domestic abuse are forever in fear of the perpetrator getting to them and in this age of modern communication it is easy for the abuser to get to their victim. Very recently we were told of a victim who had managed to escape the circle of abuse only for the abuser to continue to abuse her by text and voicemail even though the victim had blocked contact.

This is deplorable and yet another reason that this crime has got to be pushed further up the Criminal Justice agenda and perpetrators punished with the full weight of the law. These mindless morons who think they are above the law are given every encouragement by an impotent judicial system, and are able to continue this reign of terror untouched by a legal system that seems to be asleep only woken when someone nudges them. This behind closed doors cowardly behaviour is the responsibility of us all and any recriminations should be left until the perpetrator is firmly out of harms way.

We have told you how this insidious behaviour spills over to the extended family and beyond and most understandably recoil in fear allowing the perpetrator to carry on with his cowardly behaviour.  We openly applaud anyone who takes the law into their own hands and strikes out at these thugs, anything from a punch on the nose to a full scale hammering and give these bastards a taste of their own medicine. We do not apologize for our stance far from it, we have a right to protect ourselves and our families and these animals have no place in a family unit, and if the forces of law and order are slow to act if at all then Communities must act to rid our lives of those that would do harm to others.

Pilton Sucks has no time for these animals and we demand the police take robust action and take this hate crime seriously. How many victims must suffer, how many more victims must cower in the corner, how many more victims have to live with the constant fear of being abused in their own home before we waken up and realise that no-one has the right to strike out at another. These cowardly abusers will run and hide, will deny they are abusers, will blame the victim, but will continue to abuse quick to understand that the law is slower than a snail and their victim for numerous reasons is reluctant to come forward to report these degenerates.

Society in some ways blames the victim, so it is to them that we say, you are not and have never been at fault regardless of the circumstances, you have a right to live without the threat of violence, you have the right to stay in your own home and not be made to run , and to this point we must say that the lending institutions are as guilty as the perpetrator, as they compound the violence hiding behind petty rules and regulations. If you are in Council accommodation the Council must take steps to support the victim and take immediate steps to evict the abuser in partnership with the police.

This is not a case of protecting the rights of an abuser, the moment they raised their hands they had no rights, it is much more about securing the home for the victim, making sure that the abuser is tagged so their whereabouts are known at all times safeguarding the victim from further abuse. When most of us are safe and relaxed in our homes we cannot imagine the life of a victim. Pilton Sucks can as we have seen abuse at first hand and took the necessary action to protect the victim. We do not pretend to have all the answers to this hidden crime but we are of the mind that society has a duty to rid themselves of abusers who can destroy not only the life of their victim but the lives of others as well.

We must stand up to these degenerates, they are cowards who act out their crime behind closed doors. We must open these doors and expose them for the thugs they are. Communities must be made aware if convicted abusers are living amongst them. We must be given the trust to monitor the safety of our citizens. This can be done in partnership with the authorities which is the route we would prefer, but failing that then Community action is needed, unilateral if necessary, but action is needed. We leave the woolly Jerseyed Guardian readers to cry over the rights of the abusers, that’s easy they don’t have to suffer the onslaught of a violent abuser.

We watch with interest to see if all the strong talk against Domestic abuse is turned into action. Let us hope we do not have to wait and watch to long


Friends and readers.

Pilton Sucks always tries to bring you something different, and put a smile on the faces of our wide and growing readership. And we have come across something that made even us giggle, at the possibilities that we were presented with. First things first. We overheard a discussion in a coffee shop concerning believe it or not a loo that does it all for you, yes friends not the normal coffee time conversation, but one we were keen to investigate further.

It transpires that this 21st century toilet does the works at least according to our two punters who were engrossed over two medium sized lattes in paper cups. Our two punters described in detail what this wonder loo does but to spare our readers the gory details let’s just say it does everything including wiping your ass. Not one for any readers of a delicate disposition but extremely useful in certain circumstances. We thought long and hard about what kind of use this modern convenience could have and who might benefit from such a contraption.

And then we had a lightbulb moment, and our new friends in the North sprung immediately to mind. The main beneficiary would of course be our old friend the put upon parent. Our friend who is cook cleaner and bottlewasher to the infamous 5 would we are convinced welcome such an addition to ease her workload. Dopey, Deadloss, Useless, Moonie the Sneak and Dotty Doris lay siege to the home of the put upon parent demanding that their every need be met, including figuratively speaking wiping their asses. So what better than a loo that does it for you.

Deadloss is the chief dosser, Dopey could sleep standing up while useless just grins as everything goes over his head. Moonie the Sneak slithers in and around sniffing out a doss then slides in without anyone knowing. In fact Moonie is so adept at slithering that he could be dossing for a long time before you would even know he was there. The now regularly broke toilet seat has been repaired for the umpteenth time, so what better than install an all singing and dancing ass wiping toilet with unbreakable seat of course. How does this seat get broken so often, whoever the phantom loo seat breaker is should be made to clean it after the infamous 5 have been using it plus some of their wet ass mates.

The ass wiping loo serves numerous purposes and apart from the obvious one saves the put upon parent from ass wiping these dossers from hell. We would suggest that the put upon parent gets one for nothing and installed for free due to the heavy burdens she carries and the extra loo rolls as well. I want this, I want that, I need this, I need that and that’s before the short journey to the ass wiping loo. Maybe the Council could offer courses or night classes to put upon parents everywhere on the benefits of the ass wiping loo. It could be a standard bearer with the former Telford College the College of futile education offering diploma courses on the use and maintenance of the ass wiping loo.

It could grow arms and legs and be an election issue with the party’s promising tax relief if you have an ass wiping loo. In fact a new political party could be formed and instead of the SWP[Socialist workers party]  you could have AWP[Ass wiping party]. You would have put upon parents queuing up to join.

So an innocent conversation between two punters enjoying sugar free lattes in paper cups could become a Nation wide craze leading to put upon parents demanding their rights and an end to endless ass wiping.  Never mind a referendum on Scottish Independence, that pales into insignificance with a referendum on the ending of ass wiping for put upon parents everywhere, you would be guaranteed a 100% turn out.

Nightmare On High Street

Friends and readers.

Yes friends another beauty from Sue 3 jobs Bruce the City’s honest Chief Executive. Once more just as the NEN copies our phrase, you just couldn’t make this up Susie has offered us mere mortals her words of wisdom from on high, telling us we need another 6 Councillors, yep 6 more workshy party hacks to tell us all what we need and how much it’s going to cost us.

What a horrible thought and another potential 100,000 pounds plus of taxpayers dosh down the tubes. Although indirectly Pilton Sucks will be a beneficiary as it will give us another 6 potential characters to give our wide and growing readership a laugh. Susie who is happily counting her cash and can barely find the time to look after the City’s interests tells us that due to the increasing population Edinburgh needs another 6 workshy no-users to make our lives even harder than they already are.

Maybe this could be an opportunity to insist that any potential candidates have actually had a real job and know a bit about real life rather than having read about it in the Guardian. Maybe we should let Communities select candidates instead of having them forced upon us , it might encourage more people to take part in the political process rather than left in the hands of a few who have nothing but their own interests at heart.

But in reality the last thing we need is more work shy politicians who have no life experience and even less work experience. Look at the mob we have now, tells it’s own story. Pilton Sucks has been arguing that anybody who hasn’t had a real job other than reading about it should not be allowed to stand for public office, and we add no more than two terms instead of what we have now dinosaures who have been there for years not making way for new people and new ideas.

It makes a mockery of democracy and closes the door for anybody else particularly if you are not a party hack and an expert on all kinds of party rules and regs but don’t have a clue about the real world. For instance we have had our bestest mate and avid Sucks reader, Lesley Prada Hinds lording it over us for more years than we care to remember, and the closest she has got to a worker is reading about that species in the Guardian.

But our mate and Chief Executive Sue three jobs Bruce is alright thank you very much as she cleans up in the PAYE stakes. So we wonder what Susie’s ulterior motive is. Could it be she could make herself available between her hectic schedule as a consultant to look at the viability of 6 extra politicians, for a modest fee of course.

Mythology Of Diversity

Friends and readers.

Let us take you back to an age when dinosaurs ruled the earth, some say they still do but in the human form. All round us are institutions designed to pin us down and make life that little bit harder than it should be. We are governed in the main not by workshy politicians who pontificate penalise and crucify those that cannot defend themselves while at the same time protect themselves from the chill of austerity.

Partnered in the cruelest way by monolithic institutions that have come to dominate our lives and seek to control our every movement. Fear is the weapon of their choice which is used to batter the proletariat into continual submission. With miles of rules and regulations it is easy to control our existence and so it has been for an age. None of us can really recall when these vultures did not prey on us and in many ways we have come to accept that far from beating them we reluctantly have to become the hamsters that drive the wheel round and round.

The insurance, banking and financial giants control what we can and cannot do and although every so often a few might try and make a bid for freedom, more often than not we are dragged back in. All in reality we have is the sanctuary of our minds with which we can retreat to and contemplate a time when we will control the means of production distribution and exchange. While Karl Marx dreamed and wrote of a saner place in an attic flat in Highgate the established world order closed ranks and turned the screw on those who thought a different way.

Peoples throughout history have tried to break free from the rule of the elites only to, when gaining a foothold become part of the system they tried to change. Despots who came to power promising a new order became worse than the old order as they set about stealing and killing to cement their own position. History is littered with these characters who eventually fell on their own sword replaced by others who promised the same thing only to go down the same road as their predecessors. No job, no money, no life, no future and certainly no help as those who promise all that turn away and reinforce the established order.

It matters not a jot whether we become independent or not, the ruling elite will not lose they will just change their coat of many colours to the one that is the fashion of the time. Our own first minister however noble he may be is just another in a long line of dreamers who believe for one reason or another that one particular system is better than another, he may be right but what he hasn’t slotted into the equation is the need to replace an inbred system of what your’s is mine and what’s mine is my own, this has been since the dawning of the age a rule of thumb set up by the few to benefit the few, and has been the foundation stone since the Magna Carta and yes probably before as well.

Pilton Sucks is no visionary, nor a soothsayer but robust enough to realise that the people are trapped in a cycle of dependence on those who toy and use us to create a situation where our elite retain control but give off an air of understanding about how we need to control the way we are governed, so they allow us to vote, those that can be bothered, every so often but are well aware that nothing will change other than a tinkering around the fringes. Our present leaders offer no threat or alternative to the ruling order, and an independence referendum is merely a side issue to the main event. And if blame is to be apportioned then it goes to those that will not vote or refuse to take part in what democratic forums we have.

These are the guilty, these are the very people that expect but want to do nothing for that expectation or contribute to it. Many of our readers will know someone who will not vote and they destroy what chance there might be for change. Would the Tories be in power if voting was mandatory, think about that. The protectors of the established order hold sway over all our lives yet got in by the skin of their teeth and are now well on their way to destroying the lives of those who depend on help of one shape or another. For those that didn’t vote we hope you are happy with what you got and in many ways helped the blue bloods to gain office.

The frustrating part is for those who do vote and take it seriously they carry those that don’t and if you think about it long enough it’s another form of domestic abuse, as these non voters contribute to the pain we the voters have to suffer. Ironically enough as many people voted in the last election as betted on the Grand National, and here’s another irony just as many lost on both counts. We are now told that we live in an interdependent world, even better that means we have to depend on those that don’t give a damn and are happy for others to carry the can.


The Gospel According To—-Pt 2

Friends and readers

We at Pilton Sucks always try and bring a smile to the faces of our wide and growing readership, this is made easier by the terrific characters we have brought to our readers attention. Sucks like no other blog site tries when we can to bring a comical view of Community life and beyond which makes us unique in that we realise that politicians and suchlike bore people to death and the strange thing is they don’t seem to realise it, or couldn’t care less. They should think about getting script writers because the one’s they have are crap, in fact Pilton Sucks could offer their services for a fee of course.

A classical instance is the latest words of rubbish which came from Scottish comrades leader jo-jo Lamont. Partnered by her private education loving Anas Sarwar who actually believes he’s talented but his smugness belies his total futility. The personal attack launched on the SNP is a moment in history when politics hit the gutter and shows that the comrades have run out of rational arguments on the referendum campaign.  This thread of futility seems to run throughout the Labour Party as they lurch further to the right. Miliband continues to do badly in the polls at a time when Vatman and Dobbin have moved Britain firmly into an anti poor authoritative governance of the nation.

Grasping at straws comes to mind as they close ranks to all except the better off and select candidates who couldn’t spell job. They have lost all credibility or the little they had and even if the referendum was lost then all the opinion polls, and don’t let anyone kid you on that politicians don’t scrutinise polls, show that the SNP still command a substantial lead amongst the voters in Scotland. Labour have out privileged the Tories and Milibands idea to open the party’s doors to us ordinary people is a farce, and a con.

The chances of someone who has actually had a real job getting selected as a Labour candidate is nearly if not completely impossible. You are allowed to push leaflets through doors and canvass the punters, but as for being selected, no chance that’s the gift of the inbred ass lickers who know all the rules and are know all’s when it comes to policy and can move adenments to the amendments but haven’t a clue about real life, and it’s not just Labour, all the parties have their share of these characters who see politics as a way of making a good living without actually doing anything.

It is an experience going to selection meetings and listening to the armchair experts and it’s uncanny that very very few have actually had a real job , but can recite the bible of party policy, as if the punters in the street give a fuck about party policy, here’s  a little inside info they don’t, and have even less respect for a bunch of workshy tossers who would walk all over you given half a chance. Survey our local lot and ask them have they ever had a real job, don’t be surprised if the results showed the vast majority hadn’t. Pilton Sucks is of the strong opinion that nobody should be allowed to stand for public office unless they have experience of real life not just having read about it.

Well that’s our rant over for now, next time in part three we will look at the corrupt behaviour of some of the city’s leaders including Sue three jobs Bruce the city’s biggest joke.

Lightbulb Moment

Friends and readers.

Our old mates Scotmid who make our new friends in the North, the Hotbox three look quick have surpassed themselves yet again. A reader told us that she went in to buy 2 rolls, yes two bread rolls and was charged 80 pence for the two. She rightly told them where to stick the rolls. It’s not a great big saga in the thick of things but shows that once again Scotmid are ripping off those that can least afford it. They should be ashamed of themselves but they won’t be. So Pilton Sucks the consumers friend will contact their worse than useless head office to ask why such an inflated price for simple bread rolls that cost pennies to make.

This is just systematic of the Scotmid pricing policy never mind their never ending queues. They are rubbish pure and simple, crap service, over priced goods which even makes the chap with marmalade on his chin and strange stains on his shirt shudder in disbelief. The service is so appallingly bad it’s just a joke now, something always goes wrong as you eventually reach the checkout, sod’s law you might call it. We recently witnessed a customer trying to pay with her card, and if you ever wanted a laugh then this was it. First of all the machine would not accept the card, then when it did the assistant forgot to activate something behind the counter, so back to the beginning. When this minor hitch was over come, the customer queried her bill. A discussion took place which eventually called for the superior intellect of the manager who looked lost and looked to heaven for inspiration.

It was decided to reprice all her stuff as the queue got longer and nobody thought to open another checkout, of course not, that would be stupid wouldn’t it. After an age and a recount the customer was proved right and had been overcharged by about three pounds. Then the fun started. She had to insert her card again but the assistant didn’t know how to make returns on the card. Enter again the by now sweating manager, who didn’t have a clue either. The customer asked for the refund in cash which brought a look of horror on the staffs face, cash what’s that, can’t do that the till won’t open until you buy something. So the punter has to spend more money although she has already been overcharged to get back the money she was owed, less what she bought to get the till open. Ah fuck it let’s go to Morrisons.