Friends and readers.
Pilton Sucks has successfully run prat of the year for some time and we were asked by a reader recently if there wasn’t some other award that could be given out. Well Pilton Sucks ever eager to please our wide and growing readership scratched our heads and asked around at what the punters might be interested in. There were a number of options but the most popular answer we got was a chancer of the year award.
Now there are a number of suitable candidates that the crown of chancer of the year would sit comfortably on, and a couple of outstanding individuals that have made chancer their middle name. Pilton Sucks would not want to influence anybody so we will keep our choice to ourselves for the moment. You can go as far back as you like in the Community’s history, and boy did we have some legendary chancers who made it an art form, characters whose names trip off the tounge who spent their time in the Community chancing their arm and with a straight face as well.
As well as the excellent book, History of Granton there should have been a book about the chancers that have come and gone over the years. Ah memories and a few laughs along the way, as chancer after chancer seen this Community as a ladder to climb the greasy pole. Oh we could wax lyrically about the promises that were made only to be broken just as quick. Those who have lived here a long time will be able to run off name after name who came into this Community with a Trojan Horse under their arm, only to run off when they had got what they wanted leaving the punters scratching their asses and wondering what happened and how they were worse off than before.
We could write a book about some of the scams that these chancers got up to, all in the cloak of respectability and promises that were made up on the hoof. We have been gifted with chancers a plenty, and still they come making the same promises, only the script changes as does the faces, well some of them. Politicians have come and gone but the dog shit still piles up[where's Cammy when you need him] and we are still treated as the rear end of the pantomime horse. Those that thought they were Moses kept us in the desert, while promising the promised land, yet still we have one of the highest unemployment rates in the country.
Our young people still face the same problems they did before only it’s worse now. We still get the scrapes off the masters table, only this time we have Pete[formerly he perm] Strong to make an ever bigger mess. We also have his alter ego Henry 2 jobs Houdini coyle, housing manager, that’s a laugh. Oh yes dear friends chancers a plenty and it would be easier to win the lottery than to pick a chancer amongst the many we have had the misfortune to encounter over the years. We could form a Committee to pick out a suitable chancer who would fit all the criteria required and we could dear friends get Prada Hinds to chair it, might as well she chairs everything else, one drawback though she couldn’t vote for herself as that would be a conflict of interest.
The amounts of money that have passed through this Community or should we say bypassed this Community is staggering and still the chancers come to drink from the well of taxpayers dosh. Still there is an apprenticeship to serve to qualify as a 24 carrot chancer pity there was never real apprenticeships for the punters but still there is always shelf stacking in Morrisons until the promised land arrives. So there you have it friends it’s up to you vote or nominate it’s up to you, you are spoilt for choice. There is as we say no time bar you can go as far back in time as you want, and nominate or vote for as many chancers as you want. There will be of course only one winner so the winning chancer will have to have shown exceptional qualities and be of a stature suitable to be crowned chancer of the year.