Monthly Archives: July 2014

Top Of The Pops

Friends and readers..

Sometimes Pilton Sucks likes to ham things up tinged with a good deal of accuracy, and indeed we have a reworking of a classic ABBA hit Money, Money, Money Sucks style for your pleasure. Hope you find it amusing as well as how many people view their MP’s

1] They lie all night, and cheat all day, their claims all in and then we pay—-ain’t it bad

And still it just appears to be they’re all corrupt, no honesty—–makes us mad

To take it all, that is their plan, to rake it in the perfect scam

Expences paid, no claim to small

They spin around and catch us all

 

[Chorus]  Money, Money, Money

must be lovely

In an MP’s world

Money, Money, Money

Con the country

In an MP’s world

Aha—-ahaaa

All the things they can screw

Just to claim the public’s money

In an MP’s world

2]          They list it all for where they stay, a second home someone must pay—ain’t it bad

They say they claim it legally, they do not care as you can see—–makes us mad

So they must leave, they have to know

We’ve has enough, they’ll have to go

They’ve made a fortune in a game

But life will never be the same.

[Chorus x 2]  Money, Money Money

Must be lovely

In an MP’s world

Money, Money Money

Con the country

In an MP’s world

Aha—-ahaaa

All the things they can screw

Just to claim the public’s money

In an MP’s world

In an MP’s world.

Elvis Has Left The Arena

Friends and readers.

On a bright and sunny North Edinburgh day, another little shady deal is done which has an effect on the many and not a good one.

It does not take a genius to understand that there is a shortage of true affordable houses for people to live in. Building houses stimulates growth, creates jobs, increases Local Authority revenue and goes some way to alleviate overcrowding and homelessness. Only a complete and utter buffoon would hesitate in encouraging a building programme that would combat urban decay and regenerate dying communities.

Fortunately we are blessed by one such buffoon in the shape of Chancellor George Gideon Osborne. Understanding that demand exceeding supply is very good for profit, he is happy to allow the major players in the building industry to leave huge tracts of land that come complete with planning permission dormant in order to fuel a housing bubble. This gives a false and dangerous view that the economy is improving when in fact any recovery is limited to the South East of the UK while very patchy or non existence in the rest of the country.

His bizarre help to buy scheme helps to buy time until the bubble bursts and the donations to the Tory party from the major players in the building industry are safely tucked away in some high earning account somewhere a long way from the prying eyes of anyone wondering where they will get the money to fund the upcoming election campaign.

Dipity Doo Dah

Friends and readers.

While Centrica/British Gas announce a profits drop, what a shame, we the embattled populace can breath a sigh of relief as Scotmid announce a rise in queues putting them as a market leader in customer dis-satisfaction. Across the nation punters have queued to a standstill as Scotmid raise the stakes in not only price rip off but hair pulling queues. We in the peoples republic of the North have our very own anti customer Scotmid and none better than the neolithic branch in Crewe Road North.

This store is a corker and much has been written and mainly by us at Pilton Sucks about the complete disregard for their punters. We know that the chap with strange stains on his shirt and marmalade on his chin has been nominated for an OBE for his services to hiding amongst Scotmids own brand of poison in the brightly yellow coloured containers which strangely enough has the same effect on the punters who buy the stuff, they too turn a yellowish colour.

But what separates this magnificent store which has remained very much in the past is their attention to detail when it comes to the never ending queues. On any chosen day, at any chosen time you can see the punters standing almost motionless, some having been there since the clocks went forward waiting on their turn to be ripped off at the checkout. And this is where Scotmid comes into it’s own. The assistants who clearly hate what they do, are baffled by the techknowledgey which they are required to operate in between the mandatory fag breaks.

This is a sight to behold as they get flustered and confused trying to charge the already frustrated shopper who can’t find their money or stick their card into the little machine the wrong way round alerting the chap with strange stains on his shirt and marmalade on his chin that his talents will be needed to sort it all out. Our assistants have given the checkouts a life of their own as the machines take over, Terminator like and the embattled assistants run for the door and the haven of a fag break. In our favourite Scotmid there are three checkouts but very rarely is there ever more than one in operation causing the frustrated queuers much head scratching and whispers of revolutionary discontent.

As one frustrated queuer pointed out she had only come in for a scratch card and twenty Embassy Regal and ended up missing her daughters 21st birthday party, it has to be pointed out to our wide and growing readership her daughter was only 16 when she went into Scotmid. But dear friends it’s not all good news as Scotmid have decided to join the DVD world selling the latest blockbusters next to the checkout, which is a real breakthrough as one frustrated queuer cynically remarked, we can all watch The Return Of the Planet Of The Apes while we wait, problem is though it’s only a two hour movie what are we going to do for the rest of the time.

But undeterred by the lengthening queues our Scotmid warriors battle on persevering with punters who want to stand and chat about the state of the macro economy and the balance of payments deficit while their tub of Banana and Rum flavoured Ice Cream melts and the store cat gets drunk licking it up. The fresh bread goes past it’s sell by date so by the time you eventually get to the sole operating checkout it’s half price and just a shade hard round the crusty bits. The giant size peach and mango yogurt you were hoping to enjoy as part of your calorie controlled diet has turned into penicillin so you might stay overweight but it will help the fever you contract while standing in the queue.

Now as it happens dear friends and this is a real beaut, our bestest mate, fanatical Sucks reader, pretty much chair of everything, flag waving Unionist and friend of the workers although she has never had a real job herself, Leslie Prada Hinds is on the board of Scotmid, yes she really is, you just couldn’t make this up. We are sure that our Leslie is right on top of the situation looking after the Scotmid shoppers and making sure they queue in an orderly fashion and don’t squabble over the half price goodies that are kept in a shopping trolley close to the sole operating checkout.

We tried to contact our Leslie also leaving a message for her at Harvey Nics but to no avail, although one eagle eyed voter spotted her in Sainsbury’s doing her weekly shop diving between the cosmetics and fancy goods lanes. Not Scotmid for our Leslie, after all she has only got a five year term as member for Inverleith, so standing in the Scotmid queue would have deprived us all of her talents for at least half of that.

Deja Vu

Friends and readers.

The news coming from the powers that be is the economy is on the up and we have the quickest growing economy in the European Union and beyond. Built on the back of continuing cuts, austerity job insecurity, the sinister zero hours contracts, homelessness at an all time high and the divide between the rich and poor larger than at any time in recorded history and the banks still doing what ever they want even in the face of public ownership , this economy is being pushed in a direction that will create a new section of our population that will know nothing but poverty.

The near collapse of the banking system gave the right wing an opportunity to blame the collapse on the very people who were the frontline victims of complete mismanagement and obscene greed. The established financial institutions handed on a plate the excuse the Tories needed to bring about a fundamental shift in the balance of power the biggest since 1793 when the Royal Bank, yes dear friends the Royal Bank came close to collapse. News of the outbreak of war with France sent jitters round the Scottish economy fueling demands for cash and triggering a slowdown in trade. The Government of the day led by William Pitt the younger were begged for a bailout. They bailed the Bank out and poverty followed.

Yes times have moved on but still the answer remains the same, punish the populace for crimes they did not commit, strip them of any security or protection and make them cower in the face of Government power, power incidentally given to them by the very people they then turn on. As in 1793 the establishment were  insulated against the chill wind of austerity and became a population of their own. Their heirs have done exactly the same following the pattern set by their predecessors. 2014 and Bullingdon boy Cameron backed up by the wallpaper heir Osbourne tell us mere mortals that, in almost a Macmillan tone we have never had it so good, but slightly diverting from that past lie they go on to tell us that more austerity will be needed to realign the economy. What this means is more misery for the masses who pay most of the taxes and most of everything else. But if we in Scotland have any thought of going it alone then we will be set adrift in the economic version of the Niagara Falls.

All the London based party’s and most of the Scottish based versions of these organisations are all lined up together in an amazing show of unity telling the minions that we must stay in the Union, and the reason they use is, surprise surprise, the economy.  An economy controlled in the main by the established order and who see change as a threat to their own power and controll. We at Pilton Sucks posted to our wide and growing readership some time ago a list of the major land owners in Scotland all of whom are Unionists, that dear friends is no coincidence. The banks are in league with the Government who own them in our name, stating privately and one or two not so privately that Scotland is more than capable of controlling their own affairs and given the history of Scottish influence in the banking system we now live with it’s a reasonable assertion that we have more than enough experience to control our own economic affairs.

Blair and Brown during their time in office handed the keys of the kingdom to the financial institutions removing regulatory controls setting in motion a free for all without supervision, something not seen since the Thatcher revolution that brought about the 80′s spirit of human greed in the City of London which spread throughout the country like a virus consuming everyone and everything in it’s path. The Labour administration jumped willingly into bed with the corrupt practices within the financial sector and far from reigning them in encouraged them into further and deeper bad practices and all this as a Labour Chancellor, yes a Labour Chancellor sold the Gold reserves at a knockdown price and now this ex Chancellor is preaching to us about the benefits of staying in the Union.

One thing is certain. The establishment who control the country will use every weapon in their considerable armory to retain their power base. And dear friends this is the same establishment, who by their mismanagement and corrupt self interest practices have had to be bailed out twice by the very people they use as a shield to protect their assets and self assessed divine right to rule.

Sprinkling Of Gold Dust

Friends and readers.

Many of our readers will be aware that at one time in the not so distant past The Pilton Partnership controlled who and who didn’t get funding. It was a simple almost laid back system. If you were a member of the club you got funding or better still if you were on the board you were guaranteed funding and several of the well funded projects did have representation on the board, a mere coincidence of course. This system proved full proof until the club lost it’s political benefactors when they lost the election.

The SNP Lib-Dem coalition brought in on the face of it a much more open system through the Neighbourhood Partnership system with action groups that had Community chairs. This system proved to be a better fairer way of doing things and for once a politician that actually beleived in Community consultation and didn’t use it for another private club set up. For a Short time Lib-Dem Councillor Elaine Morris actually managed to achieve more than any other politician had ever done in this part of the world and sent the old pals act packing with their tails between their legs. Of course she incurred the wrath of the old guard who seen their cushioned world collapsing round about them, and worse still the one thing they detested more than anything, actual Community participation or as close to the real thing as had ever been.

Elaine Morris in her short time as a local politician was quite honestly a revelation and a breath of fresh air in a Community that had been kept in the dark for a very long time. Now Pilton Sucks is not in the business of praising politicians but in this case we make a deserved exception as we now witness the demise of the Neighbourhood Partnership system in favour of a return albeit in a different guise to the previous failed methods of doing things. Friends and readers we give you the disastrous Total Craigroyston which is close to capturing the former Pilton Partnerships cloak of the old pals act.

It’s all there in black and white, in a document called Potential Priorities, which Pilton Sucks has now read and digested and become deflated with the content. Oh yes it say’s all the right things as you would expect it to but it’s intention is plain, centralise funding to the detriment of local autonomy and return the decision making to those with the loudest voice and the self interest badge on their chest.  Will this document be challenged, history tells us it’s unlikely as those if there are any left to oppose will be in the minority as they will be simply excluded democratically of course. This document makes dismal reading and before the first page is finished, down at the bottom comes the killer punch titled, Next Steps, so presumably there have been some previous steps. It tell us that there is going to be more detailed engagement with, and this is the crucial point, with relevant stakeholders and key community groupings. So who chooses them and who is consulted, Pilton Sucks will hazard guess that it will be done with the minimum effort but with the maximum ticks in the correct boxes.

What makes us think that apart from experience, the timeline. Once this open and upfront engagement has taken place, any views or opinions will be refined or changed whatever that means and it’s not positive then this jerry mandered exercise will be presented to the August meeting of the Neighbourhood Partnership, no time at all to allow for what is a major change and in our experienced opinion huge backward step. This final destruction of local involvement will be presented for adoption, not for discussion and debate, couldn’t have that as there might be although that’s unlikely, objections. Once this refined and changed document is adopted as it almost certainly will be then the final nail in the coffin of local involvement apart from the head nodders will be in place and we can kiss goodby to any future involvement in anything.

Coupled with the threat of boundary changes then it’s all over bar the shouting and there will be precious little of that. Pilton Sucks has been around long enough to know a con when we see one or in this case read one. It’s all but done and dusted and the poverty industry will continue to be the only growth industry in this neck of the woods as the citizens take a back seat and the experts once more tell us what’s good for us as we only think we know. Who’s responsible for this disaster in waiting, does it matter, probably not but we point out that there is a coalition running this city but only one party making all the running and it’s not the SNP.

One More Cup Of Coffee

Friends and readers.

Ah these hazy lazy day’s of summer and here in the shinning North the waft of dog shit floats past your nostrils as your legs weaken from standing to long in the Scotmid Queue. But those desperados who are Easy Jetting off to full English gut bursting breakfast land, will have to stand in queues which closely resemble the Scotmid queues only to be told when they eventually reach the jobsworth robots who delight in trying to ruin your dream break, that your poundstretcher family size cut price shampoo come soap does not meet the regulated size nor does your holiday friendly toothpaste, or any other toiletry you have, clearly they have a deal with their opposite numbers in mainland Europe, which forces you to fork out twice for the same stuff while the jobsworths pocket the oh so dangerous Lux soap and all the other goodies they confiscate from you.

Makes us wonder why anybody bothers putting themselves through the torture of airports who need these very people they treat like shit,  herd like cattle and rob them blind by charging extortionate prices in their passenger unfriendly shops. And the geniuses they employ to rob the mug punters are put through a training course similar to lobotomising, which would make them ideal candidates to be employed in Edinburgh Shity Councils HR department. And when you get to gut bursting land, after a painfully long journey you may well be faced with something that bears no resemblance to what the utopian brochure promised you would get.

Your paradise in the sun turns out to be a concrete jungle with a hint of Blackpool only warmer but with that familiar hamburger and chips smell alongside the stomach churning kebabs and other continental delicacies. Makes it feel like home that’s if you come from North Edinburgh where cheap and nasty takeaways seem to be popping up everywhere, who the hell gives permission for this shit, wouldn’t be allowed in the cuddly middle class areas so why are so many permitted in one area, we are fast becoming takeaway hell. But that rant aside which we will deal with in a later post, our holiday punters quickly become disillusioned when dawn breaks, which is the main reason you normally arrive in the darkened early hours.

whether it’s the delightfully titled self catering, or the all inclusive eat all the crap you can while washing it down with the 90% watered down beverages which includes the bottled water, wonder what the other 10% is, your dream break soon descends into a fend for yourself battle. The postcards you send which normally arrive weeks after you are back home tell the lie of wish you were here, as nobody wants to admit they would rather be standing in the Scotmid queue or tripping over the decaying pavements, not to forget trying to avoid the potholes which we are told don’t exist, course they don’t. The cut price budget holiday industry is exactly the opposite, it’s a ripoff always has been always will be. The package holiday which prides itself on ripping off the punters but with a wide grin and smile never tell you of the dreadful experiences or the human crush at the airports or the staff that don’t give a toss, and once you are out of British airspace you are potential victims of the chancers who will try and con you at every opportunity.

At least you know Scotmid will rip you off, the dog shit is a constant hazard and the politicians responsible for serving the Community don’t give a fuck unless they want your vote, but compared to being a drone in an airport queue and being treated like shit from the moment you close your front door to the moment you come back suitcase full of sun cream covered clothes and the tat that you bought which now looks even worse than when you bought it, give us good old homeland, where you can enjoy the decaying fabric of your Community. But all that aside you can relax unless of course you are the one who is the put upon parent and servant to the infamous 5, and take in the pleasures of Pilton Sucks which will take you on a pleasant journey at no cost and all inclusive.

Peggy Sue Got Canvassed

Friends and readers.

Canvass sheets in hand and on their starting blocks, and some have already started the party anoraks are out in force determined to convince you of the merits of their arguments for staying or going. Pilton Sucks has as you would expect it’s own slant of the assault on your peace and quiet. The Tories want you to stay so they can continue with their brutal attack on the most vulnerable in our society. Of course they will deny such brutality has taken place and will therefore probably canvass in the areas they feel safe in, so their workload will be considerably light.

Dave has led the way with a couple of fleeting visits to us plebs carefully avoiding any contact with the natives, saving his words of wisdom for the faithful and those interested in seeing how the other half live. Dave has a touch of the flapping bum cheeks as he would be the Prime Minister who presided over the Scots voting for independence should such a scenario come about, and that would mean the order of the boot for him.

Next up is the treacherous Lib Dems who have just announced that they think the bedroom tax was a bad idea after all, this brings to mind the gate been shut after the horse has bolted. Nicky boy is in a right panic as he and his mob are going in the same direction as the dodo did. Not only are they backing the no campaign they have happily and willingly backed the Tories in their pre meditated attack on Communities all over the country. Old Nick one of the male pale and stale brigade is lost and isolated, lost in his own party who have lost complete faith in him but can do little to stop the accelerated decline, and isolated by his buddy Bullingdon Dave who just treats him like the treacherous dog he is.

Best  thing Nicky boy can do is join a silent order somewhere, at least he won’t have to listen to the loud whispering campaign predicting his imminent downfall. Woudn’t fancy being on their canvassing team and it seems no-one else does either as they are thinner on the ground than a decent pay rise. Now this is where the canvassers hit a dead end, yes dear friends it’s the party that does a first rate job of mimicking the Tories and whose ranks are filled with the stench of privilege and have the the girning Jo Jo Lamont as their top jolly who takes her lead from the other joker who leads the right wingers in London, Ed grasp at straws Miliband. Now Ed has been quite cute steering clear of having Labour canvassers on on the streets rather infiltrate the no campaign even managing to get the hapless Alistair lecture circuit Darling to enter the valley of death and debate with Alex Salmond, should be a good gig watching the lecture circuit king trying to lecture Salmond.

Labour are caught in a somewhat curious quandary, London Labour who take their policy ideas from the Guardian don’t want to upset the wooly jerseyed chattering classes so they are taking a firm stand and sticking firmly with the status quo. This leaves Jo Jo with a bit of a headache as some of her loyal followers don’t take that view and have some sympathies with the yes’ers. So she has come up with a brainwave, threaten covertly the non believers with de-selection that should bring them into line. Labour as always cannot make a decision on what day it is and with Ed and Jo Jo in charge of this bunch of chancers then we will see some tricky moves as they try not to upset anybody and upset everybody in the process.

Lastly we have the SNP. They have detached themselves from outwardly involvement in dictating what path the yes’ers should take but have found it not surprisingly quite difficult to do just that. Ironically leader Salmond enjoys majority support amongst the electorate but is seen as a negative in the yes campaign if the media is to be believed. Again not surprisingly the yes’ers are firmly tied to the SNP’s tails as after all they are the party of independence. Out in force for some time the yes’ers have been canvassing since the ice melted but still  trail in the polls if the establishment press is to be believed. Difficulty this canvassing team faces is that the argument has moved away from what the average joe thinks and got caught up in the No’ers top down argument, concentrating on high brow debates and points rather than getting their hands dirty taking the debate into the hearts of Communities where the vote will be won or lost.

You see it’s very simple talk  to people instead of talking at them. People in general are scared of change and need to be gently convinced why change will be of benefit to them. Instead of that we are subjected to know all journalists trying to make themselves sound good at the expense of the need to spell out what difference independence will make. All parties have them the experts on everything, the know alls of party structure, where the full stops and commas go in the resolutions or the amendments to the resolutions or worse still the adenments to the amendments. Then there’s the composites but that’s stretching boredom a bit far. These characters have made the rest of us lose the will to live and if any of our wide and growing readership have had the misfortune of attending a political party branch meeting then you will have heard these punters making the rest of us wish we had stayed at home and cut the grass.

It’s an inevitable result of getting a dose of self importance, and kills the spirit of other party members who may have expertise in other fields but are always ignored while the party expert on everything bores the punters to death. These are the very punters who will be organising the campaigns and who are convinced it couldn’t be done without them and if anybody dares think differently then woe betide them. Electioneering as this is exactly what this process is, relies mainly on convincing the public that your ideas are better than the other punters ideas and this is why. So the canvassing teams will be instructed on what they can and cannot say, what they have to write down and how many canvass sheets they must do and return. Bugger that do your own thing talk to people in a language they understand, engage them in conversation, take an interest in their views. They are not figures on a canvass sheet or something on a data base..

Will these anoraks listen? No of course not and will give you a multitude of reasons why not. But out there right now is a large section of the population who are undecided and find it difficult to understand what’s what. The last thing they need is for a happy smiling canvasser arriving at their door with a prepared statement and questions. As Buddy Holly sang ”Everyday it’s a gettin closer”.

Statues Without Shadows

Friends and readers.

William Vague Hague is gone, Kenneth soft shoe shuffle Clarke is gone, was this the end of the Tory party and had Bullingdon boy Cameron decided to chuck it in and also spend more time with his well connected family. Nope fraid not just a momentary lapse in reason from the good old boys at Pilton Sucks. Dave has decided to freshen up his motley crew and bring a few ladies on board in an attempt to capture the all important female vote. Someone should put him out of his misery and tell him it’s too little and far too late. Now don’t think for a minute that this gives Ed the workers friend Miliband the upper hand as he flounders on the rocks of democratic socialism, that’s socialism Ed something the Labour party used to talk about, now that doesn’t even happen.

Guardian reader Ed must be choking on his soft boiled eggs with toasted soldiers at the thought of Dave drowning in his own double standards. Bullingdon Dave is now in that pre election fantasy mode that most political leaders get, the fantasy that the voting punters actually give a shit about who they sack or appoint. But the Guardian tells them that the middle ground whoever they are really care about who is Defence secretary,  Home secretary, Foreign secretary or any other bloody secretary so they break their balls to please the wooly jerseyed Guardian readers, and then lose the election.

Our Ed is no different, he is programmed to say what he thinks people want to hear instead of just saying the first thing that comes into his head, if anything does that is. Our Ed is falling over himself to issue the correct soundbites and glad hand with the ordinaries as he swoops over the nation casting a dark cloud as he goes. He’s even been in Scotland a couple of times although one of his world wise aids thought it was Watford, no silly it’s North of Watford. Dave also has been in Ecosse, that’s French to please our European readers, and he has been falling over himself to threaten the Scots should they be so brazen as to vote yes in the upcoming referendum.

Dave’s had a hard time in trying to get his own way in the EU and is now determined to make sure that an in out referendum is held in his lifetime but not on his watch, which may be shorter now than he thinks. Our Ed is rubbing his hands together and texting everyone from Southport to little crack in Australia that he is the horse to back, careful you don’t fall at the first hurdle Ed. So from now to the election Dave will be preening and cooing about how his mob are more representative than the other right wing mob and the Guardian tells him so, and Our Ed will be getting his I phone 5 out, remember to keep it on charge Ed and running up his expense bill texting and phoning anyone who will listen that he is on course to change the furniture and the curtains at Number 10, cos the Guardain tells him so. Funny thing is they forgot to tell everyone else. VOTE EARLY VOTE OFTEN.

Pimples, Spots and Boils

Friends and readers.

The sweet smell of serenity wafts around the nostrils of the all exclusive Forth Neighbourhood Partnership. No more does our Pete[formerly the perm]Strong have to lower his high pitched voice to make him sound authoritive, or dress like the punters so he can kid on he’s one of the masses. Oh no not for our Pete,  the mingling with the underlings. He is free to use the gifted delegated authority to spend the ever vanishing budget on what he and his tiny cabal think will please his Labour masters.

Meanwhile our Cammy is far too busy leaping and bounding through the green spaces of Edinburgh West to be bothered with working in the ward he was elected to serve. Chairman Cammy to give him his Sunday name has without any opposition squandered the once inclusive Forth Neighbourhood Partnerships successes and replaced them with———something we think. Labours other stalwart Vicki the hat Redpath is pre-occupied with resigning from everything so she can give our bestest mate and fanatical Sucks reader Leslie Prada Hinds a free run at this part of the constituency. Rock and roller Pete now has more time to listen to the greatest hits of Jim Reeves as he takes the role of the former king of the vanishing acts Henry Houdini Coyle who incidentally is now manager over at Edinburgh West, isn’t Cammy the lucky one.

This time it’s the budgets that are vanishing before our very eyes as the dog shit piles up[where's Cammy when you need him] and the environmental improvements are but a leafy memory. Oh yes the lackies are still consulted but the rest, take it or leave it. Our source at the City Chambers tells us that there is even more bad news on the way, as the chattering classes mute that our mate and chair of everything might soon be joining the board of merry men at Spartans, that would explain the oh so terribly sad resignation of Vicki the hat Redpath from the board. Oops just heard the shutters going down.

Pete of course is going nowhere, seems we are stuck with him more so now that Mr.[ call me Mark] Turley has resigned, not to let Leslie do the job, but to spend more time with his family, that’s the usual reason isn’t it. Don’t think that was a resignation on the cheap was it Sue? So our Pete can relax and listen to the Big Bopper as he cements his position as Forth Neighbourhood Manager. While our mate Prada Hinds shines up her Jimmy Choo heels and drips dry her wrinkle free Prada Blouse in preparation for her assault on the Forth Ward as part of her masterplan to win the Constituency a bunker mentality will overcome the poor punters who give up of their free time to help on the various committees we have. Our Leslie will soon put paid to that nonsense and start to tell us how she was always a great supporter of the underdogs, course you are Leslie.

Our mate and fanatical Sucks reader Leslie will soon be on the march as she does the old Labour Samba through the Ward, ably backed by old blue suede shoes himself Pete[formerly the perm] Strong. Of course Pete can’t be seen to be publicly campaigning not like our better together sponsored vans that were parked illegally in Granton Place, sponsored we may add by Edinburgh Shity Council. Our consultation era may well be over, Community participation is over apart from with the ass lickers, but we can relax in the comfortable knowledge that somewhere in leafy Edinburgh West there is a Labour candidate with a squint tie smelling the roses, even the plastic ones, meandering past the babbling brooks and skateboarding down Drum Brae. Oh Cammy will ye no come back again. Probably.

Puzzling Head Scratcher

Friends and readers.

We were searching through some papers that we found lying on a bus shelter seat and lo and behold did we not come to a grinding standstill. Apart from the usual crap that we are subjected to with meaningless promises and even meaningless figures, yes you have guessed they were papers from the Labour controlled Forth Neighbourhood Partnership, we came across a group or committee we know not which called Total Craigroyston Community Connections Group. We broke out in a sweat as anything with Total Craigroyston on it is doomed to disaster.

It appears this group or is it committee was formed to look at youth work provisions we think as they have never met or if they have it’s been in secret, another Labour way of doing things. Very mysterious but not unusual, and there’s no point in Labour denying it as we at Pilton Sucks are well experienced in Labours way of excluding the very people they say they represent but in reality cannot stand and do whatever they can to make sure that they have no say in any decision making. But that little indisputable fact aside it comes to pass that there is a move on to capture all the youth work budget for the Forth Ward and give it to the totally incompetent and useless Total Craigroyston.

Well dear friends if that is the case and our information more than suggests that very thing then it will be the pet Labour supporting projects that will benefit, another indisputable fact. Total Craigroyston is a failed and very expensive nonentity, another of Labours great ideas which has cost a fortune and produces nothing. The grabbing of budgets will produce a scramble with some certain casualties, and those not bowing to the Labour way will be the first casualties, another indisputable fact and again something that Pilton Sucks is well aware of. We would be completely opposed to Total Craigroyston even getting a sniff of others budgets and we warn of the dangers of this ludicrous proposal.

We would urge the Community Councils concerned to find out what is going on and realise that Labour is making moves to go back to the days when they controlled everything where only their ass licking mates got anything and ran those who did not comply out of town. We are completely against centralised control as it destroys Community participation for everybody except the ass lickers. We urge Labours coalition partners the SNP to waken up and get to grips with what’s going on in their name, as although, you wouldn’t know it the SNP have a big say or should have in the decision making and if Communities like Forth are savaged by Labours incompetence then they may well pay the price at the ballot box, just look at the coalition running the UK, the Tories are brutalising the poor and vulnerable but the pathetic Lib Dems are paying the price at the ballot box, watch and learn.