Monthly Archives: August 2014

Dear Mr. Havenotgot

Friends and readers.

Our wide and growing readership enjoy the little gems of laughter we bring them, given there is much to concern us these days. So keeping with that philosophy we bring to you the circus of horrors as performed by our magnificent cast of characters. We thought that the Pilton Sucks circus of horrors could even be a musical extravaganza, almost Sound of Music like, but the thought of Sue three jobs Bruce singing Climb Every Mountain while counting her cash could persuade most of us that standing in the Scotmid queue would be more of a pleasure.

That aside we have given this some serious thought and there are some natural performers for our circus of horrors. Vicki the hat Repath is our juggler as she rapidly changes headgear while singing the Red Flag.  Cammy squint tie Day and his team of performing dogs are next up with each dog trained to poo on command and then left for someone else to pick up or tread in. Our friends in the North, the infamous five, Useless Deadloss Dopey, Moonie the sneak and Dotty Doris are perfectly cast as the circus clowns as long as there is not to much work involved, and the put upon parent comes behind them with the obligatory toilet roll.

The water features I.E the buckets of water that get chucked at everybody will be supplied by resident soothsayer Ross sur mer McEwan while at the same time he sings a selection of songs from Snow White and the seven Dwarfs. Our comedy double act and there was a lot of competition for these roles, but M and M, that’s Mark and Malcolm not the other one who sings silly rap songs. The very presence of our two Socialist revolutionaries would make our audience burst into fits of laughter, as their jokes would make Lord, oops not yet, Alistair Darling sound funny.

Alan, I’m the only Tory in the Village Jackson, a poor mans William Shakespeare lookalike will recite poetry while sitting on a fence as is his normal practice. Frank the numbers Ross will miss out as he is being sent on yet another jollie so his officials can get on with the job of running or is that ruining Economic Development. And yes there is a spot for our mate and avid sucks reader Sue three jobs Bruce, yes you guessed it, our Sue will be collecting the cash at the door so we will have to make sure she doesn’t think this is her fourth job and takes a cut of the dosh. Our mate and another avid sucks reader Neighbourhood manager Pete[formerly the perm Strong] will coordinate the whole thing so we can assume chaos will prevail.

Of course we tried to contact another of our readers, Henry Houdini Coyle who in a previous incarnation was local Housing manager that’s when you could find him, more likely to find a Tory voter in Muirhouse than finding the master of escape and illusion. But we had a part tailor made for our Henry, chained to a desk with a line of people ready to complain about the shity service they get from an impotent Partnership, and give him 5 minutes to escape, we have no doubt that before we said five he would be gone.

Then we have the biggest mystery ever to hit the North, Total Craigroyston, what on earth do they do that isn’t already done just as badly. But fair’s fair they could make up the numbers in the audience and even claim a grant calling it a job training scheme. For those of a certain age we thought that this could be best advertised with a photograph based on the cover shot of the Beatles Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, Google it you will get the gist of it. But most important of all we need a ringmaster come lion tamer, and who better than our bestest mate, fanatical sucks reader, pretty much chair of everything, and the enemy of wooden floors everywhere, Leslie Prada Hinds dressed in tutu, top hat and imitation whip.

This dear friends is the Pilton Sucks Circus of Horrors including all the extras to give you a truly meaningful experience, the Ghost train and this lot will really scare you. the room of smoke and mirrors and that most rarest of experiences, a public meeting of the Forth Neighbourhood Partnership.

Let them entertain you, they always do.

Cool Sky

Friends and readers.

We at Pilton Sucks would like to bring to you a balanced view of the Independence debate and try our best to give you some facts which have been left out in what has become a debate that has forgotton about how real people think and decended into an argument aimed at the wooly jerseyed Guardian readers. The punters are genuinely confused as the politicians have argued amongst theirselves leaving the voter scratching their asses, this dear friends may have the effect of turning the voters off as they become sick of the bickering.

The postal voting is under way as voters in Scotland decide whether to strike off on their own or remain within the United Kingdom. There are some key social, political and economic questions about what Scottish independence would entail and the issues it would raise for the UK, Scotland, the EU and the wider world.

Fact1] The acts of union between Scotland and England were passed in 1706, taking effect on 1st May 1707.

Fact2] The English were keen to make sure Scotland didn’t choose a different monarch from the one sitting on the English throne. The Scots were strapped for cash after a disastrous attempt to colonise the Isthmus of Panama in the late 1690′s

Fact3] If it’s a yes vote a constitutional settlement will need to be drawn up which will take some time. Full Independence would be declared in March 2016 and elections to an Independent Scottish parliament in May 2016.

Fact4] If it’s a no vote the major Parties in Westminster have all pledged to devolve more powers to Scotland. It is worth remembering these pledges have been given by politicians who are notorious for lying.

There are more facts we could itemise but that’s enough to start with.

Scotland has a long and fascinating history. Many tales of battles fought are closely linked to a desire to rule a well located country, rich in natural resources.

During the Scottish Enlightenment and Industrial Revolution, Scotland became one of the  commercial,  intellectual and industrial powerhouses of Europe. The Country’s industrial decline following the Second World War was particulary acute but in recent decades Scotland has enjoyed a cultural and economic renaissance, fuelled in part by a resurgent financial services, the proceeds of North Sea oil and gas and, latterly a devolved Parliament.

Scotland has twice been voted ”European Region of the Future” in the last four years  and it’s not difficult to see why. We have a resilent and diverse economy coupled with a business and political environment which suports growth and entreneurship, there is dear friends no more promising location than Scotland in which to set up or invest.

We have some more facts for you which may surprise you and hopefully give you food for thought

Population: Around 5.2 million

GVA: [Gross value added]Around £102 billion

GVA[per head] Around £19,744

Currency: Pound sterling [the better together mob would try and tell you differently should there be a yes vote]

Labour Force: Around 2.49 million

Scotland’s top five export industries: Food and drink, Chemicals, Business services, Electrical and Instrument engineering and Mechanical engineering.

Top 5 export destinations: USA, Netherlands, France, Germany, Belgium.

So there you have it dear friends some straight forward stuff for you to digest, minus the political clap trap. Politicans all to often forget that it is to the people, the average citizens that they are servants to    and not the other way round. We have so many armchair experts who have all the answers before the questions are asked. It is us and not the elite who will make this decision, yet the politicians are falling over themselves to worship at their alter. It is the ruling elite, the establishment who would happily have us all in shit street so we would be subserviant to them. The return of cheap labour, low wages and wide spread poverty has come to the fore with the rule of the reactionary Tory Government and their desire to privitise Britain and push us back to the days when we went cap in hand to the big house to ask for some  money to buy bread. The forces of the state have us cornered and this ray of hope in the form of an independence referendum has them worried and they are using every trick in the book to frighten the people, and who knows it might work.

We have practically been stripped of any protection as the Unions have resorted to being just pressure groups and single issue campaigners. The Unions have been strangled and are now led by individuals who think it’s better to keep your head down than do the job they were elected to do.  They are a sad shadow of what they once where. When was the last time you heard a Union Leader standing up for their members instead of sleeping with the enemy. Nothing more than a talking shop and conferences which produce meaningless resolutions which mean absolutely nothing and do nothing for the spreading virus of right wing politics. This referendum does not answer all the questions we have nor is it the magic bullet that will save us from oblivion, but it would send a message to those that sit with their thumbs in their asses, taking their wages plus expences that we  want it our way and not the way of a continuing spiral of decline. We want proper representation not  the shit we are on the receiving end of from the Torries or more of the same shit from a Labour party full of jokers who have never had a real job and haven’t a clue how the people they say they represent actually live and to be honest they don’t give a toss.

We are on our own and have been for a long time, while the ruling elite pontificate from afar. We are treated like lab rats and if you just stop for a minute and think, actually who helps me, who has helped me, and why should I support a bunch of privately educated no necks who think they have a devine right to rule. Think about that, think about what you want for your country and what you want your country to be. Think about the young people now and how they are binded by the disposable society, the mobile phone and x box generation who live in a world created for them which dosen’t exist at all, except in their head. Do we want to lose that generation, do we want them to be left to scratch their backsides wondering what way to go. Many have never read a book, nor a newspaper, and have little or no idea about the world around them, and who does that suit.

Dear friends it’s up to you. Listen, read and understand that it is you and the generations to follow that we are voting for.


You Need To Freeze Lemon Sorbet

Friends and readers.

Just a couple of weeks or so before the big vote and the punters are being bombarded with glossy leaflets, tabloid type newspapers and the dreaded canvassers. We heard that a local punter was sitting on the loo reading the Sporting Life and was ambushed by a canvasser who shoved a leaflet up the loo bringing tears to the eyes of our friend who was busy reading the form.

The latest news from camp yes is that the Margo mobile will shortly be in the vacinity, hope it’s a better service than the 19.  Everywhere the locals go there is a anorak waiting to pounce on them asking for their support or more likely their vote. All Council employees have been instructed not to wear their yes or no underwear and rumour has it that Forth Neighbourhood manager Pete[formerly the perm]Strong has been told to inspect the underwear of all his staff to ensure they are wearing neutral colours.

Our Pete is a commited no voter and it is rumoured he has taken to wearing his Union Jack undies which plays the National Anthem as he walks. Strange that employees cannot express their view yet as we reported to our wide and growing readership Pilton Sucks spotted Council vehicles displaying better together material on their windscreens while parked on the pavement in Granton Terrace.  Recently two of our pals and avid Sucks readers Vicki the hat Redpath and Ross sur mer McEwan were spotted in Ferry Road Drive doing the Highland fling and stripping the willow. Our reader who lives in Ferry Road Drive told us Ross was wearing some natty head gear and he looked like a cowboy, well if the cap fits.

Locals have been receiving through their letter boxes lots of propoganda about who will do what for who, but the best one if that’s the correct word is a double sided glossy with head shots of Malcolm Chisholm, Mark Lazarowicz, and our bestest mate, fanatical Sucks reader, pretty much chair of everything, the lady who is known for putting both designer clad feet in it, Lesley Prada Hinds. Imagine if you will having a bad day, where nothing has gone right, going home and horror of horrors finding these punters looking up at you from the floor, and just as you thought things could not get any worse. These three Unionists who make their living kidding everyone they actually give a dam, have for many years made their dosh from other peoples misery, yep they represent the peoples party Labour. And the wierdest, frightening thing about this lealfet is that no matter what angle you look at it from these three stare right at you, in fact if you dare look long enough at it the three of them develop fangs and always at night.

So if you are, for example a Social Care Worker coming home from an evening shift and feeling a little tired, desperate to get in and go to bed only to be confronted by the three desperado’s peering up at you from the floor waxing lyrically about the merits of the Union and the need to keep their wages and expences in their current state, you could be excused for screaming as you dash for the phonebook or look up the Internet to find the nearest 24 hour Exorcist.

We find it kind of funny that if we the voting fodder vote yes then that confines the Labour Party, the London one to the political wilderness making Our Ed the Robinson Crusoe of Politics, forever lost and surrounded by the sharks within his own Party. It’s quite amazing to think that the establishment and their pals including spokesperson Lord, oops not quite yet, Alistair Darling have all colaberated to ensure the Scots punters remain prisoners of a Union designed to keep democracy as far from the plebs as possible. Our mate Alistair one of the gentrified gin and tonic set who makes a nice little earner thank you very much on the lecture circuit, who the fuck would pay to listen to the original gray man, who has made boring an art form but who has lined his pockets since helping to fuck up the economy.

These very same people would have us remain a suburb of London tugging our forlock to a distant Government who couldn’t give a toss about the average person, or the homeless person or the unemployed person and the rising tide of low paid unskilled going nowhere shit jobs. They don’t care about any of that, only their own interests and they will say and do anything to keep their nest feathered. What do you think will happen if the punters vote no, will these very same hypocrites fight your corner, try and bring some decency back into society, make sure that the Union works in the best interest of everybody not just the ruling elite. Of course they won’t. Darling will disappear back to his money grabbing lifestyle, this former hard left privately educated militant is a complete chancer as is the whole Better together campaign. If we are so better off together why is this Nation of Scotland suffering austerity, lower living standards, crap wages, and an army of homeless, jobless people who are being exploited by a system that the Better together lot tell us is terrific and we will suffer without it. Course we will.


Lighting The Way

Friends and readers.

You may have noticed from time to time the yellow vehicles with Lightways written on the side of them. Yes they are the people who don’t fix the roads properly and make a dogs dinner of patching as well. But they have the contract for the motorways as well so they must be doing something wrong.

Well dear friends it has come to the attention of Pilton Sucks that they have Yes Scotland stickers plastered over their vehicles, maybe they are using them to help patch the roads because they do a shit job and whatever they are using to patch our failing road network they might as well use stickers. We ask who monitors these jokers or does anybody care, they are just rotten.

But that minor detail aside it’s only taxpayers money after all so why should anybody give a shit, we can always bullshit the public anyway and there’s nothing they can do about it so fuck them, that’s company policy.  But it was amusing to recently see some of their vehicles with Yes Scotland stickers on them while these patriots made the roads worse than they already are. What a bunch of mugs we really are. We put up with this shit we are given to swallow, as we watch our infrastructure disintegrate before our very eyes. Lightways are just another symptom of a decaying system that condones bad workmanship and a couldn’t care less attitude.

Sack the lot of them and get the job done properly. We advise our wide and growing readership to if possible take photographs of Lightways in action and send them to the press and expose these cowboys. Our roads are a mess and while our politicians tell us that Edinburgh has no potholes the rest of us are either trying to avoid breaking a limb in the pothole ridden streets, or trying to avoid our vehicles getting destroyed in the craters that litter our roads. But never fear Lightways are here to make a bad job worse, but their vehicles are voting yes.

Noticeably Missing

Friends and readers.

We were happy to be told that there was to be a Gala day this month but unhappy to find out that it was cancelled due to not obtaining an entertainments licence. We could say this is bullshit but we won’t, instead we will say that you don’t need an entertainments licence if the Gala was held on private land which coincidentally it was to be. Fourth Quarter Park is owned by National Grid, Edinburgh College and Malmo and Fusion residents. So who’s kidding who.

Maybe Vicki the hat Redpath could resign from whatever Committee authorises the entertainments licence that isn’t needed, she resigns from everything else.

We turn now to our old pals the ineffective Forth Neighbourhood Partnership managed by our old mate and keen Sucks reader Pete[formerly the perm] Strong. Recently we had a brainstorm and went on a bin count given that most of the bins in the working class end of the Community have vanished, while our pals in the leafy suburbs of Tory Trinity have practically a bin for every house. Now we are not talking about the green plastic bins which are too small for their use or the gardening bins that sometimes get emptied, but the big steel chaps that are concreted into place.

They have all but vanished from the area but surprise surprise there are 17 bins in place in Victoria Park. That’s nice yet we have by our count had 14 removed, not so nice. We had a look at the Partnerships web site which unlike ours is not kept up to date so we were unable to check this fact but we have saved the Partnership the bother we done the count ourselves. And while we are at it we hear rumblings of discontent concerning the notice of meetings and something we at Pilton Sucks have mentioned before.

The meetings, and we are told the last three have not been given the statutory 14 days notice breaching the Council’s own policy and procedures, have now descended into a farce with the Community being treated with contempt, we don’t see the NEN blog printing that, Oh we forgot they are trying to extract money from the Partnership so they don’t want to bite the hand they are mooching off. We are told that all the allocation of monies [700,000 pounds] has been spent, that’s 600,000 pounds plus 100,000 pounds pinched from the roads budget. That’s something else that’s not printed on their out of date website.

Now where has that dosh been spent, good question, no point in asking the Partnership, what money, they ask, our pals in Trinity have got most of it so what are you loy moaning about. Well that’s us told then isn’t it. There are serious questions to be asked about section 75 money with regards to the Cala Development along at sunny Arboretum . Why haven’t they been asked for a contribution to fix the drainage that is causing a river to be created at the sleek new tarred entrance to the walkway that benefits the new residents of Sanctuary in the City. Why is rent payers money from the rent payers account being used to subsidise private developments.

Why is so much rent payers money being spent in Trinity when Council tenants are very light on the ground in that leafy utopia. Simple really if you are a conspiracy theorist, buy that lot off and then do what you like with the rest of the dosh and since the notice for the meetings breach policy and procedures, allowing only the head nodders to attend then, Hi dee Hi business as usual. Bins removed and not replaced, grass growing out of the pavements, dog shit piling up and an army of officials along at the local office at West Pilton Gardens sitting with their fingers up their asses collecting their bloated salaries and doing nothing, certainly not in the areas where the resource is really needed.

We understand from a reliable source at Council level that an official complaint was made about the management of the Fourth Neighbourhood Partnership to the then Director for Services for Communities Mr, call me Mark Turley. As we reported Mr. Turley was given the boot and replaced by company punter John Bury who has done precisely nothing about the complaints that were made allowing the lunatics to continue running the asylum. We found a copy of the letter Mr. Bury sent out on a bus shelter seat and it’s full of the typical crap that you would expect from an official who doesn’t want to do a thing except what he’s told to do by our honourable Chief executive Sue three jobs Bruce.

The Forth Partnership is by any standards in a mess and getting worse. The head nodders are steering the ship and it’s heading for the rocks. No wonder our old mate Henry houdini Coyle jumped ship. The Community is showing real signs of neglect and unless change comes about then this Community, Trinity apart will become somewhere where the dogs come to shit and the tourists come to peer at the queues in Scotmid.




Eyes Wide Shut

Friends and readers.

Our friends in the North The Infamous 5 have become very popular with our wide and growing readership, with Useless, Deadloss, Dopey, Dottie Doris and Moonie the Sneak who we are told has found religion, probably under the half eaten maggot ridden Chinese carryout which had been left lying for a few months,  hilarious adventures bringing a smile to our wide and growing readership.

Our infamous 5 are always on the lookout for the next dodge and have become very adept at avoiding anything remotely relating to work, that dear friends is left in the hands of the put upon parent. Eating, sleeping dodging and dossing is the name of the game as the put upon parent tries to close all the loopholes but as one closes another opens.

Their motto is, don’t ask as a refusal often offends, and if it does we’ll just ignore you anyway. So Pilton Sucks has come up with a little song to celebrate their indifference, our version of course, and it’s our version of Vaughn Monroe’s Busy Doing Nothing.

1] We’re busy doing nothing, working the whole day through

trying to find lots of things not to do.

We’re busy going nowhere, Isn’t it just a crime

We’d like to be just dossing, and often we have the time.

2] We have to watch the Hotbox, to see that it doesn’t leak

And keep it together with string and glue

Must keep us dossers cheerful, we’re really a mooching bunch

Hustle, Bustle and only all day for lunch.

3] We’re busy doing nothing, working the whole day through

Trying to find lots of things not to do

We’re busy going nowhere, Isn’t it just a crime

We’d like to be just dossing , and often we find the time.

4] We sometimes watch the sun up, we’re liable to sleep all day

And then inspect the kitchen, to see what there is to eat.

We must rehearse the excuses, to see that we avoid the work

Hustle, Bustle and never a moment free.

5]  We’re busy doing nothing, working the whole day through

Trying to find lots of things not to do

We’re busy going nowhere, Isn’t it just a crime

We’d like to be just dossing, and often we have the time

6] We’re busy going nowhere, isn’t it just a crime

We’d better make it snappy, there’s another job to dodge

We’d like to be just dossing, and often we find the time.





The Crystal Ball

Friends and readers.

Power influence and status, three words that go alongside, no not Scotland 5 or so years after independence but currently words that are used about the UK’s independent Nuclear deterrent, weapons that are used to annihilate nations and it’s peoples. But these three words offer not destruction but opportunity, in an independent Scotland.

The people had spoken and voted for Independence on the 18th September 2014, and some 5 years on, despite the doomsday warnings of Independence, the UK Government have bent over backwards to ensure that Scotland remained in the Sterling currency zone. With Cameron long Gone and Obama’s historic winning of the presidency a fading memory alongside his inept support for the Union Scotland had been wooed by fellow independent nations who hailed a new member of nations who take decisions for themselves and in the interests of their people, rather than in the vested interests of the minority.

We controlled our own destiny with Government for the people by the people, and a Government that truly reflected the will of the nation. We had begun to feel that independence had made us stronger and our bargaining position strengthened as we controlled the taxation system which meant we could attract international investment creating many thousands of jobs, that’s jobs with people paying taxes into an economy which used it to the nations advantage. There were no borders created, another fear that was quickly put to bed as freedom of movement continued and was encouraged.

Centuries before Wallace had been hung drawn and quartered, for refusing to bow to English dominance, now we gladly welcome our English friends but as equals not as some little corner of the British Isles which lived off grants which were in the gift of a London based Government. The weapons of destruction are being negotiated away and re-investment in industry has started to take place. A programme of affordable housing for rent and sale is under way creating important apprenticeships, teaching skills that were being lost under Tory desire to cull any investment. Our NHS is becoming once again the envy of many as we watched the English version disappear into private hands. We held fast and refused to join the privatisation freaks who hated anything that remotely had the public interest in it.

We had to brave the early storm of rebuke from the London based parties who seen their power ebb away particularly the Labour Party who needed Scottish votes and seats to win the keys of number 10. That the self ordained peoples party should seek to side with an establishment who wanted to retain their inherited wealth made many traditional Labour voters turn away in disgust leaving that once proud party unelectable. The chattering classes cried into their Guardians as the Scots ditched the old way of doing things including having patronage strewn on those who were born on the right side of the bed.

King Charles remained head of state and was privately said to be more at home in Scotland than London and our King was often at Balmoral, which like all the Royal residences were subject to the taxes we all paid, this was agreed by all parties so the Scottish people did not have to subsidise these residences. The land became the property of the people not the property of the minority tax dodgers. Europe was not the problem we were told it would be. Yes we applied for membership as an independent nation, and it was agreed that at the earliest stage possible Scotland would be a full EU member. The power balance had shifted within the European Parliament and the center left had begun to exert itself demanding EU members had autonomy, precisely what the Scots wanted.

World politics in general had changed and more nations wanted independence and we were heading for a federal world, a world where nations could talk to each other as equals, and not as the arms industry wanted us, at each others throats. The UK in general was moving towards a federal system, it was the way of things as people demanded more say over their lives instead of being lorded over by some elected individuals who reclined at the very thought of people having any say at all.  The Westminster establishment was on it’s knees and a constitutional revolution was under way and like a juggernaut it would not be stopped. It won’t be all plain sailing it would be stupid to assume so. But we have started to make this nation one of collaboration instead of confrontation, a nation where the young who are the future of any nation are given the opportunities they need to make sure our nation grows as one and their talents are best utilised in the betterment of society.

The vision of a society that Government works in the interests of the people it represents is starting to become a reality as we the people hold our leaders to account and demand that they work in the interests of all and in the favour of all and not the privileged few who for so long owned the nation and it’s peoples. We want to be seen as a country who is at peace with itself and with other nations including our closest neighbours in the rest of the British Isles. We still want our neighbours to succeed for if they do we do. We are partners now, equal partners moving forward to ensure we all benefit from an independent Scotland. Ironically in some ways we are stronger now as friends than when we were ruled from London, and we will continue to grow as our interests grow from being equal partners.

We finish with a bit of a funny which came to us via a Guardian reader, it could only be.

A man went to a cashline after independence. When he inserted his card he was met with a message on the screen. Did he want his cash in Pounds, Euros or Bawbees. Told you it had to be a Guardian reader.

Master Of The Hall

Friends and readers.

We start dear friends with a reminder if one were needed of what is at stake come 18th September.The vote we exercise on the 18th will be for now and for the generations to come. We the voters of today must take the decision that will give the people to come a better future, one that at least offers opportunities based on ability and desire to do the best you can. We have lived to long as prisoners of a class system based on a quirk of birth and a bank balance to protect against the chill winds of austerity. This vote is much more than a yes/no decision, it can mark a new beginning, a beginning that will bring harmony and fairness we so lack in today’s gimme world.

Come what may things will never be the same and the ruling elite must be made to understand that the will of the people will be heard and the Nation belongs to the people and not the few who enjoy the fruits of others labour.

1] I will be born on the 18th September 2014, amid strife and the burning question why.

2] My aim to succeed in every way and hope for the people every day. My every word with a solemn beginning, the anticipation of futures and also of winning.

3] Let it be written with skill from far above with meaningful words and a mixture of love. Let the pattern be struck into every mind to explain what is there for all mankind. The truth of the right belong to all men, to protect it and guard it, secured to the end.

4] Now with hope in our hearts and the will of the state, with life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, or our fate. The pledge to each person, the promise of hope and for loyalty and Independence not to cease. It will be written to protect us in all of our rights and grant us much strength through all of our nights.

Much will be said before we cast our vote, and many differing arguments will try and sway the decision we make.  But as we go alone into that small box to make this momentous decision we will have the nations future in our hands let us be as sure as we can that we take a decision in the best interests of the present and future generations. May your God go with you.

Magical Roundabout

Friends and readers.

We hear that the Waterfront board has been re-aligned and our newest reader and now a member of the Sucks cast of characters Frank the numbers Ross, Councillor for the Charity shop kingdom of Corstorphine has changed the personnel, but unfortunately there is no Community Rep on the board bit like Deja Vu we feel Frankie.

Of course there are plenty of experts on board so it’s back to the future as did the previous Waterfront board and they managed to fuck it up big time. Once again the Community is ignored and the expertise it has in it’s ranks. Frankie has been telling anyone who will listen that he is up to his studded collar in work but nothing is happening in the North Frankie, and as we understand it there is potential viable projects on the table fully funded as our reliable source up at the City Chambers tells us.

So what’s the problem Frankie, officials giving you the runaround are they? so nothing gets done and they don’t have to put themselves out. We understand from a private conversation that took place at senior level last week that our Frankie might not be up to the job he has convinced everyone he is as he seems to willing to allow officials to set the agenda and stop anything of worth happening. You need only look at the Forth Neighbourhood partnership to see an organisation where the employees are sinking the ship, and the Captain, Pete Jolly Roger Strong is in league with the pirates,  the Pilton Central Association.

This Community will sink without trace if chancers like the PCA are allowed to get a hold on things. That’s why we need proper Community representation on organisations like the Waterfront board, and Frankie has missed the boat on that one. We don’t want to go back to the time when the lunatics were running the asylum. We already know the budgets are being manipulated locally and we understand that the latest meeting of the Partnership was called at the last minute allowing the few to carve up the dosh. That’s an old dodge and something Acting Director of Services for Communities John Bury should be made aware of, as he wouldn’t have known but as a reader of Pilton Sucks he will now.

Mr. Bury must look at urgently exactly what is going on within the Forth Neighbourhood Partnership, as Mr call me Mark Turley was about to do before he was suspended by the honourable and upfront Chief Executive Sue three jobs Bruce, a mere coincidence wasn’t it? Head Honcho Pete[ Formerly the Perm ] Strong is delighted that he has been given a free hand through lack of scrutiny but we warn he is in the pocket of those who would take all and give nothing. It is done the tried and tested way of doing things. Call the meetings at the last minute, having more or less made the decisions before the meeting takes place knowing that some will be unable to attend and any objection at the meeting will usually be a lone voice and outnumbered, it’s the oldest con trick in the book,  and surprisingly still works.

This is happening right under the noses of those who are supposed to be in charge, makes you think does it not, that either they don’t care or are frightened to do anything about the level of mismanagement that is clearly on view within the Forth Neighbourhood Partnership. This version of doing business should have been done away with years ago, and it to a certain extent was done when Labour were rightfully kicked out of office, but now they are back and their cronies with them.

This dear friends is how it’s done

1] Hand the Trinity end of the Ward a few quid so they don’t object to anything.

2] Make sure that most of the decisions are taken pre meeting

3] Consult no-one but then produce flimsy evidence that you have

4] Behave in a way that intimidates the inexperienced activists and they won’t come back

5] Set up bogus organisations that rarely meet and then invite the reps to the meeting

6] Behave as though you have the Communities interests at heart when it’s really your own interests that you have at heart

7] Hey presto the jobs a good one.

This is is being mirror imaged at City level and our Frankie who likes the title of Chair of Economic Development goes in the direction he is sent in which is usually the wrong direction but suits the interests of the few, who want their own agenda adhered to while pontificating about the need to make sure the Communities have their say. Yep that’s how it’s done and that’s how easy it is.

The Art Of Creation

Friends and readers.

More people in employment, growth in the economy and house prices on the up again, could almost be a renaissance of the golden ages of boom and bust. But dear friends the bust we speak of has not left us and hangs over the heads of the population ready to fall and sever the head of this fragile recovery. What recovery we hear you shout, for all around us things for the majority have not changed one little bit. Those in employment have seen their wages stagnate and fall way below the cost of living, and for those without employment living below the breadline is now the norm.

In the Eurozone our biggest export market the economies have shown no sign of returning to growth and worryingly Europe’s biggest economy Germany has stalled which can only be bad news for the rest of us. So dear friends with our export markets shrinking and wages stagnating at home how can we be the miracle economy of Europe. Well we are not is the simple answer and on a little closer inspection it’s not hard to see why this is the case. Chancellor Osborne’s slight of hand has given London and the surrounding areas a house price boom, and do not forget that most of the Government departments are in London making it the most subsidised City in the UK.

The banks have not been reigned in and are still in a position to speculate without regulation, still living off the huge taxpayers bailout they enjoyed. The further North you travel the poorer the country becomes and the start of the foodbank trail which many families now turn to in order to feed themselves and their families. Oh yes employment is on the up but it’s poor waged unskilled part time employment and the Government has made sure that the benefits system does not help these people.

The working poor go largely un-noticed but make up a very sizeable part of the working population, so alongside the unemployed they are all in the melting pot of poverty. Mortgages if you can afford one are like honest politicians, hard to find which forces people into the rat trap of the rented market and the greedy claws of the unscrupulous landlords, who find solace in the hands of  Government only to happy to do nothing to regulate the rented market. Many of these unscrupulous landlords screw the housing benefit system and their friend and enemy of the poor Ian Duncan Smith is only to happy to break bread with them. He’s far too busy making sure those that cannot work are made to work regardless of the overall cost to them and the country.

The Government policy of hammer the poor and then hide the figures has contributed to the miracle of growth in the economy, as they are not registered as unemployed so the figures are blatantly fiddled in order to present a picture of a nation enjoying the good times once again. For the very few that is the case and Britain the friend of the rich and crooked is only to happy to fling open it’s doors and welcome them in to spend or launder their cash. The punters don’t benefit but it makes the figures look good and they can sell their lies to the voters. The world or much of it is on fire as factions commit genocide in some fictitious savior’s name, but Davie and Georgie sleep well relaxed in the knowledge that they have somehow contrived to make Britain look as though they have the Government everybody else should envy.

We cannot survive as a nation or as a planet if we do not come to terms and deal with the vast inequalities that exist today. No politician has the answer nor any Government as they are all bound by a dogma which allows only for self interest and self preservation. In the end it matters not who has what but how a nation’s wealth is divided to improve it’s peoples lives and offer a future for the generations to come. The gap which exists at present between the very rich, the rich, the poor and the destitute is vast and getting bigger and no attempt is being made to bridge that gap. No-one in power wants to, it’s not in their interests, it doesn’t serve the grand plan of a three or four nation Britain.

Taxes have been lowered to help the better off while the number of food banks grow. Our utility prices are now beyond what many families can afford and real fuel poverty is now very much a reality. The cost of living continues to rise while peoples incomes fall behind and when it comes time to put the lighting and heating back on many will face the stark choice of heating or eating. We are a nation caught in a time warp. The rich live like kings in this green and not so pleasant land where all the goodies are available to them while the working poor pay all the taxes or certainly the bulk of them and then crucified if they dare step out of line. This new Jerusalem that the minority enjoy comes at a price for the rest of us. For the many it is one step from poverty, for the very unlucky it is already poverty and one step from oblivion. For the rest who look down from their ivory towers it’s always sunny and if it isn’t then it’s only a few hours away to the sun kissed islands of the mediterranean and beyond where they can relax and forget about the worries of how to hoard their cash and avoid paying taxes.

Need not have bothered we have a Government only too willing to accommodate all their needs and requirements, easing their worries and sleepless nights over how to hide the cash. Our people cry out for leadership and fair play but alas it falls on deaf ears, only more of the same but spoken in a different tone. We seek not to talk down this booming economy, if only it were true, it’s not far from it, the reality is hidden by smoke and mirrors and a tissue of lies and deception. It’s a nice life if you can afford it.