Friends and readers
In these days of changing ways and so called liberated days, a story comes to mind of a friend of mine. Enough of that romancing and let’s get down to the latest gossip this time emerging from the under pressure Mark the cat Lazarovicz’s election camp. We are very reliably informed by a Sucks devotee that our bestest mate, pretty much chair of everything and Queen of blunderland Lesley Prada Hinds is seen as a vote loser and is to be given a behind the scenes role in the election campaign, in other words she’s to be dumped. Bad news for the SNP who would be hoping that Prada the dark star in Labours celestial body would be a prominent player thereby angering the voters who might turn to the SNP.
We also understand from our insider at Waverley Court, the bastion of democratic accountability that the three stooges, Adair, Ward and Watton have been reported to the Scottish executive over their mishandling of the former Royston School site. These three inept fools who are over protected and overpaid have conspired to make sure that their agenda is adhered to, while their boss and insider dealer Dame three jobs Bruce remains aloof but with her finger firmly on the trigger. We hear from another of our readers that they also have been having problems with this lot, what a surprise.
Pilton Sucks has posted well over 600 reading delights in our second life and our readership has grown since we first saw the light of day some years ago. We are delighted to say we are as much a part of the punters life as their morning porridge is, although not as lumpy. Pilton Sucks will shortly produce their own web page bringing even more fun and games from the nations favourite website.
Well back to the election and the fever pitched excitement of it all. The SNP have hit the ground running but ructions still remain in the camp and our latest info is that complaints are flying around all over the place. We have been probing to extract what info we can but a lid has been put on things which means all is certainly not well at camp SNP. But that’s the rich tapestry of politics and it would be very boring if there was no in fighting regardless of all this new politics shit that’s flying around. Elections are fought on issues always have and always will be. Passions fly high and that’s a good thing shows that politics still matters to people, but then so does oxygen.
During this election Pilton Sucks will be reviewing all the parties candidates even the Tories, we are nothing if not even handed. Markie the cat Lazarowicz is on a weight loss reduction program so he can fit into his election leaflets, while waltzing matilda Deidre cobber Brock has yet to show face in the Forth part of the Constituency, someone should tell her that a 14 bus takes her from the sanctuary of Leith to the politeriate of Forth. One snippet we do have is that the SNP have come to their senses and scrubbed the idea of a first floor election headquarters, whoever thought that one up needs their head examined, we understand that the alternative headquarters will be in or around Stockbridge somewhere.
Ah the middle class wannabes of Stockbridge and Markie boy’s hunting ground, home of the cheese and wine set, armchair experts and NO voters in the referendum, not may we remind you matters a jot in a general election campaign. This is a part of the world where SNP is a swear word and cobber has her work cut of if she is to score points in that part of the world, so we advise our Deidre to break free from the chains of Leith and go in search of that most elusive of animals in Stockbridge, an SNP voter. Although the SNP do have one thing in their favour, they weren’t stupid enough to vote for Joan my heart is in the North Cherry, who subsequently found that her heart was really in Edinburgh South, replacing one Lawyer with another would just about be enough to make you puke.
So the Constituency breaks down into several parts, bit like the great british bake off only not as tasty. Sunny Forth with it’s lumpen proletariat and the poor neighbours of the Constituency apart from leafy Trinity which has traditionally voted Tory but may decide to vote tactically since they have no bloody chance of winning. Into the Dudleys and Newhaven, anybody’s guess where this lot will mark their X but SNP must be in with a good shout. We have spoken about Stockbridge and unless cobber Brock works it like hell then it’s a lost cause, could be damage limitation. Along and into Leith it’s cultural mix and cobbers stomping ground, but Labour and Gordon the snake Munro were first past the post in the Council elections, and where MSP Malcolm man in black Chisholm is popular. They haven’t done themselves any favours by selecting Prada Hinds as Labour candidate to replace Malcolm Chisholm at the Holyrood elections, talk about shooting yourself in the foot, they have blown the whole thing off. So SNP could give Labour a real fright in that part of the constituency but it may be a close run thing.
So in the early stages of the campaign with tactical voting sure to play a part then it’s the SNP who have made inroads catching Labour on the hop. A demoralized Labour with an absentee leader in Scotland hands a gift to the SNP who have the momentum for the moment. The Tories can’t win neither can the treacherous Lib-Dems who may be severely punished for their support of a right wing reactionary Conservative Government, now there’s a mouthful. If the Lib-Dem supporters tactically vote in enough numbers then it is ironically them who could have a huge bearing on who wins in Edinburgh North and Leith.
Markie boy has a 14,000 plus majority but doesn’t have the human touch his comrade Malcolm man in black Chisholm has and he just scraped in with his personal vote deciding it in his favour. Markie boy has no such personal vote and comes across as aloof and distant except with his cheese and wine set and they won’t be enough to win him the seat. So cobber Brock should keep that in mind and go for the personal touch, it works wonders, and break away from what appears to be a shield that has gone up round the candidate, big mistake. But Markie boy is the incumbent and is experienced enough to know he has a real fight on his hands, and that 14,000 plus majority can soon evaporate so his battle plan had better be a good one or his worst nightmare, spending more time with his family could become a reality.