Monthly Archives: September 2015

1 Down 2 To Go

Friends and readers.

News has reached the ears of Pilton Sucks that one of the corrupt triangle GREG WARD is leaving the sinking ship of Edinburgh shity Council. WARD has decided the party’s over and he is running off south of the border. Pilton Sucks has been calling for an investigation into the activities of WARD, WATTAN, and ADAIR, but with WARD doing a runner, another corrupt official escapes the net. Edinburgh shity Council is riddled with corruption and it dosen’t help that there is no leadership or anyone prepared to forgo their committee allowances and open this can of worms.

First three jobs Bruce and all her outside interests which was fully supported and encouraged by City leader Andy Pandy Burns, she decided enough was enough, took the money and ran, leaving a mess behind her. Now WARD whose own activites included insulting elected members is for the off having mucked up as well. There seems to be no shortage of jobs for these clowns, so Edinburgh’s gain is London’s loss. WARD is no loss to the City but no doubt there will be a push to fill the vacancy, a well paid one, and at a time when the City is talking of shedding up to two thousand jobs, and no middle management job losses, which costs the City a fortune. At this rate there will be a army of managers and no real workers.

But the chain of corruption is being broken and these crooks see that now their lord and master has left they become more visible as does their corrupt incompetence. Sucks will continue to press for an investigation into what’s left of the triangle ERIC ADAIR and PETER WATTAN. Now their pal is leaving that leaves these two scrambling around for cover.

It’s A Protect the Managers Scheme

Friends and readers.

So we are about to undergo a low paid staff cull at Edinburgh Shity Council. Sucks can point to three chancers right away that should be kicked out and they all earn much more then they are worth. Officials GREG WARD, PETER WATTAN and ERIC ADAIR should be top of Andy cost cutter Kerr’s night of the long knives. We have consistently been asking for an investigation into the activities of these individuals, and Sucks has evidence to show that all three have been involved in activities which run in conflict to the interests of the City. Chief amongst these corrupt individuals was former Chief executive Sue three jobs Bruce who the Council knew was lining her own pockets but did nothing. A senior Councillor the same Councillor who told us about Prada Hinds shares in SSE, spoke privately to Sucks and told us that her activities were an open secret but no-one wanted to get their hands dirty and take the correct action and sack her. Now she has walked with a few quid in her pocket and a nice wee earner with her pals at SSE.

This whilst 2000 jobs will be cut Chief Officers such as Andrew cost cutter Kerr new chief executive and Greg ass licker Ward Executive Director each receiving an additional 30k a year so much for making savings. It will be the lowest earners and hardest workers such as care staff who will feel the brunt of the cuts while crooks like WARD eat from the carcass. Our streets and pavements are a mess and right here in Sunny Forth we have a roads manager Neil McFarland who does fuck all literally, and his mate Pete [formerly the perm] Strong who himself hasn’t a clue what he does. But Library workers and janitorial staff and such like will be threatened with the order of the boot while middle and senior management will go untouched. This lot have carved themselves out a nice little earner for doing as little as possible. For example why is there nearly 400 staff in the planning department, what the fuck do they all do all day. We have rampant corruption within Edinburgh shity Council and it comes from the top down not the other way round as is always suggested. Yes Sucks can tell you that if you walk round to Fidra Court in Muirhouse of a morning you can’t move for bin lorry’s parked up and using the cafe.

Yes that probably should not be happening, and should be stopped but so should the massive corruption that is rife among senior officials and that Sucks has provided evidence for. The huge legal budget would not be necessary if the Council did it’s job properly and as Sucks recently pointed out is larger than all the other Councils put together. Yes friends it will be as always the weakest who will be targeted while the lazy fatcats continue to sit on their fat asses collecting their even fatter salaries, with no threat to them. Once again we ask why GREG ass licker WARD was not at least disciplined for taking hospitality from three jobs Bruce’s pals HENDERSON GLOBAL before a contract was even signed. No action taken and none likely but Sucks knows and will continue to press for WARD to be removed from post not promoted and given more money to play hatchet man.

Cash Register Con Game

Friends and readers.

So Edinburgh is the most expensive place in the UK for Tradesmen to park and carry out their work. It’s no wonder many firms don’t touch work in certain areas of the City or if they do, the cost is passed on to the punter. This is simply greed and overkill and once more the motorist is a target and a financial cash cow. If you own a vehicle in this City then you are criminalized as soon as you sit behind the steering wheel. It’s easy money for Edinburgh shity Council and their Gestapo like traffic wardens. Targeting motorists is big business and the only growth industry in the City.
The Council don’t hate, as many pundits have said, motorists, far from it, the Council love motorists, they want more motorists clogging up the road work ridden streets of Edinburgh, they want motorists to park where they find a space where they can either overcharge them for parking or even better, get ticketed by one of the many wardens who hide behind every lamp post waiting to pounce on an unsuspecting motorist. And try appealing, it’s easier to get off with murder than a parking ticket.

And dear friends it gets better if you don’t pay your parking fine within the allotted time it goes up from £30 to £60. Then court proceedings may start or you may get a knock on the door from the numpties that call themselves Sheriff Officers threatening you with all sorts of horrors if you don’t pay up plus their expenses of course. Our advice is under no circumstances should you let these people into your home. And don’t forget the police might even get involved as they like nothing more than sticking it to the motorist, why? because it’s easy.

And guess who the Transport convener for the City is, why none other than the Queen of blunderland who fucks up everything she touches, pretty much chair of everything, Lesley Prada Hinds, yes you just couldn’t make this shit up, it had to be her didn’t it.

Prada Hinds is happy to hammer small businessmen with a £1000 a year charge to park and carry out their jobs.

But, she’ll let The City Car Club park for free in 100s of spaces through out the city. The CCC is now in “partnership” with a multi billion dollar, tax avoiding, multi national, American owned, corporation. Didn’t think we would know that did you but we do, and that’s been kept from the public eye but Sucks has just let the cat out of the bag.

Why does she still let the CCC park for free when it’s just a business like any other? Kickback? Any news on when Prada Hinds bought or got her £20,000 worth of shares in SSE, was it before, during or after they signed a multi million pound contract with CEC? we will ask again, was she involved in any negotiations with SSE, did she vote on the contract while holding these shares, and did she know that they were fined for lying to consumers, or doesn’t she give a toss, probably not. She is asking punters to vote for her next May to elect her to Holyrood where she can dip her nose further in the trough, that in itself would be an affront to democracy.

Making the Case?

Friends and readers.

Our pal, well sort of, he’s really at the prat end of things Iain Black or Professor as he prefers to be called, lectures we think in vivid imaginations, something he is a bit of an expert in, likes to tell us he lost the independence vote single handed. Edinburgh North and Leith voted yes in the independence referendum according to the prof. Oh really parts of North and Leith voted yes not all of it by any stretch of the imagination.

So to celebrate his great achievement or what he would like us all to believe, the actuality is he popped up at a few meetings and in the right places to be seen but did little else in the campaign except target a few mug punters he roped in to do the work he should have done, he organised single handedly[aye right] a week end of fun and thrills to celebrate a year since we got gubbed by the silent majority.

Regular readers of Sucks will know our friend the prof has turned up a few times in posts mostly for trying to get punters in his local SNP branch [Forth ward] to dance to his tune, which we may say according to an inside source he has failed miserably to do. He according to our source along with a few of his ass wipes who have since vanished tried to unseat elected office bearers so they could take the branch in another direction. This dear friends was before the General Election and had he succeeded which we are told he didn’t then it’s very likely Cobber Brock the new SNP MP would never have got a campaign in that neck of the woods off the ground. Now we are told these very same ass wipes are nowhere to be seen.

Anyway that aside the Prof allegedly organised this weekend of fun and frolics to celebrate a year since getting stuffed at the polls and part of that jamboree was a get together at the North Edinburgh Arts Center. Funny thing is that nobody outside West Granton or Muirhouse got a leaflet advertising this earth shattering event. We found one lying in the gentile green space that is Muirhouse Avenue. It had some interesting language on it obviously written by a disgruntled punter who had written across the top of said leaflet what they could so with it and it sounded sore.

Well to our surprise upon reading this lovely coloured leaflet, we spied an old mucker of our’s who was even more surprisingly chairing this little event, why it was none other than Community champion and raconteur, someone who would turn up at the opening of an envelope Willie community socialist Black. But it got even more confusing for as we read on with intense interest there was someone called Stacy Devine who was going to talk to the masses about her experiences as a Community activist. Sucks had never heard of her and if Sucks hasn’t heard or knows about you then there is something amiss. Turns out dear friends that Ms Devine couldn’t spell activist never mind be one. Nobody has heard of her and she has done nothing in the Community she say’s she is active in. Naughty naughty getting mug punters to come to an all singing and dancing event under false presences is a poor show.

Further to our quest to discover if Ms Devine exists or it’s just Willie community socialist Black in drag, we inquired further afield and lo and behold does it not turn out that Ms Devine got knocked back from being an SNP candidate because she didn’t know what the S in SNP meant or something like that. So she is just another chancer which a source close to the local SNP branch confirmed, quote ”full of promises” ”yes full of something but not promises” must be Willie community socialist in drag after all. So this year of celebrating getting our asses felt went ahead and we were told that just a few punters came along to wet their whistle and it was mostly made up of chancers who were organizing the thing. But we thought it was just the Prof who on his jack Jones did it all, how wrong we were.

The smart punters in the SNP know very well that another referendum is not on the cards and the important issue now is to win a majority at Holyrood. There is little or no appetite to go traipsing round the doors again on a fools errand when the pressing need is to retain power at Holyrood, but will these dafties listen, why of course not, they think everyone gets up in the morning and the first thing they think about before going for a piss is that we must have another fuckin referendum, oh and by the way we can use the leaflet to wipe our asses while we are at it. We have much more pressing and immediate problems than worrying about independence and they need to be addressed. The SNP need to concentrate on the powers they do have to run the country and make sure that Education, the NHS, law and order are working properly which can be argued aren’t at present. So a second referendum is a distant option and if memory serves us well it was said by someone somewhere that it was once in a generation not every fuckin week.

The yes campaign have hijacked the SNP just as Militant hijacked Labour using them to further their own ends. Listen if an independent Scotland means that Willie community socialist Black is chairing everything that moves then Edinburgh North and Leith will want it’s own referendum to ship him out to the peoples republic of Livingston or Larkhall or somewhere delightful like that.

Here Comes The Judge

Friends and readers.

Edinburgh Shity Council is not only corrupt but completely incompetent. They allowed former Chief Executive Sue three jobs Bruce to line her own pockets and shaft the City to boot. They have allowed corrupt officials who Pilton Sucks has named and shamed to also line their own pockets while also shafting the City. Scandal after scandal, ”the worst maintained roads in the civilized world”, and that quote came from a visiting Councillor from another city, all this and more including the worst Councillor in Edinburgh’s history
and we have had more than our fair share, Lesley Prada Hinds pretty much chair of everything and SSE share holder.
Now Chief executive Andy cost cutter Kerr has let it be known that at least two thousand jobs will have to go, ironically enough none amongst the overpaid fat cat officials who manage with regular monotonous consistency to fuck things up.

Clearly this has been inevitable for a very long time. The city could not carry on the way it has been for the past 20+ years. In that time various administrations have wasted millions on mad cap projects which have nothing to do with providing the core services. Then of course we have the trams. The city is bankrupt, it is a dump, the roads and pavements are a scandal, vital services are being done away with, yet they can still financially back festivals. The council is grossly over staffed at managerial level who in turn are grossly over paid. When you take all that into account something has to give. All that is wrong within CEC has finally come to a head and if that means strike action, then fine by us. it comes down to short term pain for long term gain.
Of course if strike action does take place, which is their right as the council are failing to provide the core services they are obligated to provide. They are then breaking the council tax contract with the public. That being the case the public are well within their rights to withhold further council tax payments.
Maybe then when the city is an even bigger dump, the tax payer is also on strike, the Government will finally step in and do what it should have done a long time ago and suspended this administration and hold a public inquiry into the running of CEC.

All the managers in the PR department will be protected.

All the senior officials will be protected including the corrupt ones

All the temporary staff and agency will continue to be employed

All the internal lawyers and external lawyers on massive framework contracts will continue to be employed because the council regularly mucks up and gets itself in trouble because of poor management. Edinburgh council’s legal budget is greater than all the other councils in Scotland combined. The Scottish parliament should have a look into this.

We all know that the people who will pay will be front line staff on low to
medium wages.

Edinburgh Council need to be Investigated – sign the petition below if you have time:

Hot desking normal workers and treating them like rubbish whilst promoting grandiose stupid schemes which cost millions and destroy the City is unacceptable

Edinburgh Council hang your Heads.

Banksie On Tour

Friends and readers.

Our old pal and care impresario Lorraine half nelson Banks is off on her hols yet again. Banksie who is resident at the local office in West Pilton Gardens and is one of the many managers for the Social Care team likes to think she is inclusive but the only inclusive she knows is the all inclusive part of the holiday brochure.

Sucks contacted West Pilton Gardens with a query about a care package for a resident and were told that half nelson Banks would be away for the next 5 weeks, must be stressful driving a desk. Banksie as all you sun worshipers know is mad keen on her holidays and insists on at least one holiday a year, all year. This time it’s a 5 weeker and we do hope she gets her money’s worth as she works so hard at trying to dodge the column that she deserves to recharge her batteries so that she returns refreshed, and rejuvenated ready for the hard slog of thumbing through the holiday brochures in search of her next getaway.

We thought that her staff who she values so highly might like to have a wipe round to help her with her next fun packed getaway but we couldn’t find anyone who would like to put the first donation in the hat. What we did get though was an IOU from a rather cynical individual which read that Banksie should get a one way ticket to the far side of the world and no possibility of a return journey. If you threw in all inclusive she might be tempted.

Lets Have That Inquiry

We the public, ask that the Scottish Parliament order a public inquiry into the running of the City of Edinburgh Council. The numerous scandals, cover ups and mismanagement of the Capital City of Scotland must be investigated to prevent further debacles and to restore the trust of the public.

Why is this important?

Everyone in the world should be concerned when a beautiful City is subjected to so many scandals. The City of Edinburgh Council is responsible for providing services which affect the environment and the lives of over 400,000 people and the Council has a budget of over £1 billion per year. The numerous and ongoing scandals that have engulfed the City are cause for wide spread public concern. These scandals include:

The Mortonhall Baby Ashes Scandal
The School Repairs Scandal and the Liberton Tragedy
The Tram Debacle
The Statutory Notice Scandal
The Flood defence overspend scandal which cost the taxpayer £30million
Planning Scandals allowing building on historic sites at Craighouse and other protected areas
Traffic Chaos scandal caused by dogma in the council transportation department
The Lothian Bus Scandal which allowed a boss of the company to earn £270,000 per year and run his own private bus firm on the side and somehow or other employ friends and family.
The “Bleeding Stumps” scandal whereby the council cuts front line services to show how important it is, whilst protecting spin doctors and managers within the council who produce nothing. This tactic is known as the Bleeding Stumps approach because it cuts off key limbs and sends a message to central government not to take their money away, whilst protecting the overpaid and useless. It is a cynical and scandalous ploy that the Scottish Parliament should not tolerate.

Of most concern is the repeated cover ups of the above scandals. Files on the Tram debacle have gone missing or been shredded. The Council also appear to be putting their heads in the sand about the running costs of the tram and ongoing safety problems with cyclists being injured. The school repairs backlog appears to have been hushed up in the wake of the Liberton Tragedy. It has also been reported that it will be years before any answers will be given on Liberton.
It is a matter of record that numerous files and records have gone missing from Statutory Notice jobs, and the process implemented to resolve the scandal has gone on for years and has cost the taxpayer millions without resolving the complaints.
The Edinburgh Planning department is viewed with suspicion by residents in the city because it is inconsistent, and appears to turn a blind eye to protected areas being attacked by developers. There is no right appeal by residents and communities often feel that the Developers and the Planning department are overly familiar and close.

For over three decades there appears to have been systemic management failures and a culture of cover up in Edinburgh, and this must be addressed. In view of all of the scandals, ongoing cover ups and concerns, a full public inquiry is needed to restore public confidence in Edinburgh Council.

Foot In Mouth

Friends and readers.

Our bestest mate and pretty much chair of everything, queen of blunderland Lesley Prada Hinds has opened her mouth and let her belly rumble again. She has been telling anyone stupid enough to listen, that if Jeremy Corbyn won the Labour party leadership race she would leave the Labour Party. Well cheerio then and no doubt she will also be resigning as the Labour candidate for Edinburgh North and Leith at the Holyrood elections in May next year.

We think that the executive committee of the constituency party should take a look at her comments on Twitter and ask her to resign as candidate, then they might still have an outside chance of winning the seat. We welcome Mr. Corbyn’s election as leader given that the right wing have had control of the party for years and turned it into a second rate Tory Party. Prada and her comrades have ruined the Labour Party and turned it into a corrupt rabble who have only their own interests at heart.

Corbyn won a landslide so minions like Prada are well out of step and should leave if they cannot stand the thought of Labour being returned to it’s members and the grasp of the right wing cabal being removed. Prada and her mob are so far out of touch they no longer represent anybody but themselves. Turning to elections we see that the by election in Leith returned two councillors, one Labour and one SNP. whoever is taking decisions in the SNP should take a good look at themselves. A wasted opportunity to stand two candidates when Labour scraped in on second preferences. If the SNP has stood two candidates then Labour would have not returned a councillor and likely the Greens may have won or possibly the SNP would have returned two.

The arithmatic is very clear as is the breakdown of the votes cast, if the SNP had stood two candidates Labour would have lost and the dynamics at the City Chambers would have changed drastically. Idiots and the Leith branch of the SNP should question their decision to stand only one candidate.

But back to resignation and we look forward to Prada Hinds resigning from the Council and the Labour party. We can reassure her she will not be missed, but Sucks will take a hit as she is our top rated character and always delivers the goods.

Orwell Sucks Style


The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving.

The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.

The British press inform people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so, while others have plenty.

The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of GB demonstrate in front of the squirrel’s house. The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news, broadcasts a multi-cultural choir singing ‘We shall overcome’.

Ken Livingstone rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that the squirrel got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his ‘fair share’ and increases the charge for squirrels to ENTER inner London .

In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper ANTI Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The squirrel’s taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work. The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile. The squirrel’s food is seized and re distributed to the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper.

Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and START building a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to Britain as they had to share their country of origin with mice. On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of Britain ‘s apparent love of dogs.

The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempted bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to return them to their own country were abandoned, because it was feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from people’s CREDIT CARDS.

A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel’s food, though spring is still months away, while the council house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn’t bothered to maintain the house. He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshoppers’ drug ‘illness’.

The cats seek recompense in the British courts for their treatment since arrival in UK .

The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to GET MONEY for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him.. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.

A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost £10,000,000 and state the obvious, is set up. Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for
grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased. The government praises the asylum-seeking cats for enriching Britain ‘s multicultural diversity, and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.

The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison. They call for the resignation of a government minister.

The cats are paid a million pounds each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in the United Kingdom .

The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses. Their taxes are increased to pay for law and order, and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a shortfall in government funds.


Shine Up Your Buttons With Brasso

Friends and readers.

With The Shity Council looking to cut anything that moves, overflowing bins and crap in the streets has become the norm. So some well meaning punters have decided to get together and clean up the streets in Leith or at least try.

Of course who pipes up with her patronising comments, why none other than the chair of everything and Queen of blunderland Lesley Prada Hinds. Our mate Prada would like to meet with the group and help where she can and at the same time try and drum up support for her dead in the water election campaign.

You must be joking Ms Hinds
As a local Politician elected to serve the people of Leith you should hang your head in shame and even consider your position given that people are volunteering to carry out work designated to be done by her ” Cleansing Department ”
Have always had a doubt as to her ability as a Councillor and now have even more .
Yet another Labour ” Cardboard Cut Out” Politician.