Monthly Archives: November 2015

Just A Little Taster

Friends and readers.

Sucks very own Community Panto is in the drafting, and this years offering is our own version of the Wizard Of Oz. So just to wet your appetites Here’s roughly the story before Sucks dissects it and adds it’s own little delicate touches.

When a tornado rips through North Edinburgh Dorothy (Lesley Prada Hinds) and her pet dog, Keiza, are whisked away in their house to the magical land of Oz. They follow the Yellow Brick Road toward the Emerald City to meet the Wizard, and en route they meet a Scarecrow (Pete Strong) that needs a brain, a Tin Man (Cammy squint tie Day) missing a heart, and a Cowardly Lion (Willie community socialist Black) who wants courage. The wizard asks the group to bring him the broom of the Wicked Witch of the West (Vicki the hat Redpath) to earn his help.

That’s about it for now friends and readers, but we will be adding a couple of characters so don’t be to disappointed you still might be in with a chance of getting a part in the funniest on line panto this side of an Edinburgh shity Council budget.

Rib Ticklers

Friends and readers.

As we enter into the season of good will and credit cards, let Pilton Sucks give you a few free laughs and not a sign of Prada Hinds anywhere. As Xmas has become one big rip off at least you can sit down and relax read Pilton Sucks in the sure knowledge that you won’t have to cave into the commercial merry go round and be forced into having a good time, when all you might want to do is rip up your letter from the SNP who have got you in some data base somewhere as an identified supporter and tell the lot of them to fuck off with the spirit of Xmas in mind of course.
Anyway below is a few funnies of a sort to put you in the mood for a giggle and take your mind of those brain numbing Xmas adds with false snow and the family sitting down together with their ALDI turkey all with funny hats on who can’t stand the sight of each other for the rest of the year, but since some other bastard is paying then fuck it we will wear a silly hat and pull crackers that cost a fortune and are filled with shit.

It was Christmas Eve in at the meat counter and a woman was anxiously picking over the last few remaining turkeys in the hope of finding a large one.

In desperation she called over a shop assistant and said, ‘Excuse me. Do these turkeys get any bigger?’

‘No, madam, ‘he replied, ‘they’re all dead.’

On Christmas Eve, Nathan thought it would be nice to buy his mother a little gift for the next day. Always short of money, he thought long and hard about what that present might be’

Unable to decide, Nathan entered Debenhams and in the cosmetics section he asked the girl, ‘How about some perfume?’ She showed him a bottle costing £75.

‘Too expensive,’ muttered Nathan.

The young lady returned with a smaller bottle for £50. ‘Oh dear,’ Nathan girned ‘still far too much.’

Growing rather annoyed at Nathan’s meanness, the sales girl brought out a tiny £10 bottle and offered it to him. Nathan became really agitated, ‘What I mean’, he whined, ‘is I’d like to see something really cheap.’

So the sales girl handed him a mirror.

Christmas Spirit

It was just before Christmas and the magistrate was in a happy mood. He asked the prisoner who was in the dock, ‘What are you charged with?’

The prisoner replied, ‘Doing my Christmas shopping too early.’

‘That’s no crime’, said the magistrate. ‘Just how early were you doing this shopping?’

‘Before the shop opened’, answered the prisoner.

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, “Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn’t deaf.” To which the little brother replied, “No, but Gran is!”

The Santa Claus at the shopping center was very surprised when a young lady about twenty years old walked up and sat on his lap.
Santa doesn’t usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, “What do you want for Christmas?”
“Something for my mother, please.” said the young lady.
“Something for your mother? Well, that’s very thoughtful of you,” smiled Santa. “What do you want me to bring her? ”
Without blinking she replied, “A son-in-law!”

And finally friends and readers, a little ditty
To the tune of ‘Winter Wonderland’:

Lacy things, the wife is missin’
Didn’t ask, her permission
I’m wearin’ her clothes
Her silk pantyhose
Walkin’ ’round in women’s underwear

In the store, there’s a teddy
Little straps, like spaghetti
It holds me so tight
Like handcuffs at night
Walkin’ ’round in women’s underwear

In the office there’s a guy named Melvin,
He pretends that I am Mrs. Brown
He’ll say, “Are you ready?” I’ll say, “Whoa Man!”
“Let’s wait until our wives are out of town!”

Later on, if you wanna
We can dress, like Madonna
Put on some eyeshade
And join the parade
Walkin’ ’round in women’s underwear

Lacy things- missin’
Didn’t ask- permission
Wearin’ her clothes
Her silk pantyhose
Walkin’ ’round in women’s underwear
Walkin’ ’round in women’s underwear
Walkin’ ’round in women’s underwear

It’s Right Round The Corner

Friends and readers.

Yes it’s getting close to the greed fest again, and Edinburgh has already got it’s rip off tacky crap up and running. But Sucks would like to gently introduce the season of not so much good will with a few funnies of our own just to wet your appetite. And unlike the Pete Irvine rip off and con our festive fun is free.
Let’s start with a funny but true story sent in by one of our readers who was shopping in Morrison’s recently

I went into Morrison’s supermarket the other day and noticed a man staring rigidly, as if transfixed, at the soft drinks isle presumably comparing the prices and contents. He was still there 20 minutes later so I inquired if he was alright. He replied that he was fine, just looking at the label that said ‘Orange juice concentrate’ There’s always one isn’t there.

Here’s another.

Just before Xmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus all got into the lift at the Caley Hotel in Edinburgh. the lift travelled from the 3rd floor down to the ground level, one-by-one they noticed a £50 note lying on the lift’s floor.

Which one picked up the £50 note, and handed it in at reception?

Santa of course, the other two don’t actually exist!

That’s it for now folks, as we are trying to think up a funny story about our favorite character Prada Hinds, but we are struggling to find anything funny to say, except she’s a Labour Councillor.

McGarry Another chancer

Friends and readers.

not satisfied with having one cheap and nasty fraud in their ranks the SNP now have another low life crook in the shape of Glasgow East MP Natalie McGarry.
£30,000 is missing from the WFI (women for independence) account to which McGarry had sole authority. the PayPal account where the money was kept was directly linked to McGarry’s own bank account.
McGarry has now resigned the SNP whip so she and that other SNP crook MIchelle Thomson can swap stories while they continue to pick up their MP’s salary.McGarry has clearly got something to hide and now that she has been caught with her grubby fingers in the till the usual denials are flowing out. The SNP have denied any association with WFI yet at least 7 of their members will be SNP candidates at the Holyrood elections in May next year.
So the question is what if anything did the SNP leadership know about this missing cash? And when? Denials were issued regarding knowledge of what Thomson the fraud was up to, but what has emerged is that elements of the party leadership knew what Thomson was up to. So did they know what McGarry was up to? Again denials have been quick in coming out.
Criticism has escaped Sturgeon herself but she is not above being told to get her finger out and start getting a grip of what might become a potential unraveling of the SNP. It’s fortunate for the SNP that Labour are in such a mess allowing the SNP to get away with what is serious allegations of wrong doing. It’s still 6 months till the Holyrood elections and a lot can happen between now and then. One horror story still potentially to be played out is the nightmare scenario of the loathsome Prada HInds holding the Edinburgh North and Leith constituency for labour. The opinion polls say she will get well beaten but that can change and with the strong rumors of real discontent within the Forth branch of the SNP, where we are told that experienced activists have been excluded in favour of the yes mob who we are told did nothing during the General Election campaign, then the candidate Ben your honour McPherson has a big job on his hands given that it was that side of the Constituency which gave Diedre cobber Brock her majority. This is were at the present time were Labour are concentrating their efforts.
Voters don’t like scandals and can be unforgiving at the ballot box, so the SNP should remember this and don’t do what the Labour party did for a long time and take the punters for granted.
We at Sucks remain neutral of course but in the element of fair play we remind Ben your honour McPherson that Prada Hinds has got a greyish cloud hanging over her head. She still has not come clean on how £20,000 worth of SSE shares came into her pocession and when? Given that SSE has a lucrative contract with CEC. Is it any wonder that voters are sick and fed up with politicians promising heaven and earth and then when elected forget them as cobber Brock has. Added to the fact that a large amount of the electorate feel politicians and potential politicians are in the main in it for themselves which in Thomson, McGarry and Hind’s case is all to obvious.

Save Our City From The Bruce Legacy

Friends and readers.

We hear on the QT that a meeting of managers which the council has plenty of, was held at Craigroyston School recently with new head honcho Andy cost cutter Kerr in the chair. Andy told the assembled elite that there would definitely be redundancies within the Council. We didn’t hear that cost cutter Kerr was talking about these overpaid incompetents that have managed to save themselves and their six figure salaries from the axe.

It’s a pity that when three jobs Bruce pissed off she didn’t take the rest of the wasters with her. Bruce left this City in a mess but done alright for herself, thank you very much. Bruce lined her pockets while putting the City’s interests to one side, ably supported by her silly pal Andy pandy Burns who allowed this chancer to have outside interests even when it was in direct conflict of the duties she was employed and well paid to carry out.

Her legacy of corruption will long hang over the heads of this city’s citizens, and shamefully the politicians did nothing to stop her, quite the opposite in fact. But as always these jokers always seem to get away with it while the most vulnerable suffer. So many scandals, so much corruption and yet some of these Bruce lackeys are still in post, still earning their unwarranted inflated salaries while we argue over the scrapes these scumbag’s throw off the table.

Yes there is now an inevitability that there will be large scale redundancies, while three jobs Bruce enjoys her well paid retirement. Yes it will be jobs and services which the Council seem to have forgotten that they were elected to deliver instead of fucking about with vanity projects that benefits no-one except the brown envelop gang, that will suffer and in some cases disappear altogether.

Bruce got out when she knew the heat was getting closer, jumping ship with a gong in hand and a fat bank account. Remember when the Edinburgh Evening News had a love in with her, almost sanctifying her, bet they regret that Bruce promotion exercise. We are left with a legacy of corruption and bankruptcy, in both finance and morals. Now cost cutter Kerr has been brought in to finish what Bruce started. Living in that glass bubble of the City chambers has made reality a distant thought for many of the elected members, who are more interested in carving up committees for extra allowances, than in seeing what is right in front of them, we are in the shit and you helped put us there. Stick your festivals and all that crap where the sun doesn’t shine and start delivering services that befit this City. And please friends and readers don’t swallow that emotional bull shit that 1 in 5 jobs in this once great City is because we have a few jamborees every year.

If that is the case because some overpaid official tells you that then hang your heads in shame.

Aye Aye

Friends and readers

Hot on the heels of our post on the rip off Xmas market in the City Center comes the story of crappy wine being sold to the punters at 4 times the price paid for it. This so called market is an embarrassment to Edinburgh every year. It is just an extension of the tartan tat on the Royal Mile. Nothing to do with what citizens of Edinburgh want and more to do with what the clowns in the council get as a backhander from the organisers. corruption rules still.

“Edinburgh Christmas Market – Festivity for the hard of thinking.”

Here’s another one….

“Edinburgh. Less of a place to live. More an amusement park for tourists!”

It’s such an embarrassment. The tackiness, the poor quality and the extortionate prices. How does all of that and the crappy fun-fair rides say Christmas to anyone. If you’re a family you may as well put a match to 50 quid as pay a visit in our opinion. Ice-rinks may work in continental Europe or New York, where it’s cold and snowy, but not in Edinburgh where it’s more likely to piss rain and blow a gale for most of December. Have our Councillors not had numerous fact-finding, all expenses paid missions to Germany to have a look at real German markets? The only reason we have this crap every year is the council, with our money, ensure this rubbish can make a huge profit regardless of what tat they provide.

Remember friends and readers We are paying Council Crony Pete Irvine and Underbellly £1.3m to put on this event. Plus £100,000 policing costs, plus several seconded council staff, and a huge bill for clearing the site at the end of it all.

Last year the funfair, big wheel and street party returned £49,000 to the council. We didn’t miss out any zeros, it was really £49,000.

Andy pandy Burns calls it an “investment”. I’d call it corruption and theft from the public purse. Andy, have you ever taken a kickback from Pete Irvine or Underbelly? Do you know of any councillor who has taken a kickback for freebie from Pete Irvine or Underbelly? Care to show us your bank accounts for the last 10 years?

Charletons and Thieves.

Holy Moly

Friends and readers.
Just to show we are even handed here is a little something below for you to enjoy, hopefully and grin with the irony.


Since Edinburgh’s Old and New Towns were declared UNESCO World Heritage Sites in 1995, the city council has worked hard to protect and in many cases restore a historic atmosphere to the city. To the delight of tourists and urban historians, it’s had some wonderful successes. The Statutory Notice System of building repairs has produced an authentically eighteenth-century feeling of corruption and decline: parts of the city now feel as decadent as the Naples of the eighteenth century Grand Tour. But perhaps the greatest, if least trumpeted, success has been the roads. In line with the council’s policy of restoring an authentic sense of history to the city, it has for some years abandoned all but the most essential road repairs. Aided by the severe winters of the late 2000s, potholes have flourished, leading to the wholesale degradation of entire streets. Now the visitor can experience the true pre-modern city everywhere. Not just potholes, but in the drizzle, great lakes have appeared, ruts, and fields of mud replacing tarmac, all making the most picturesque urban spectacle. It’s happened everywhere – you don’t just have to visit the historic core to see the roads return to their natural condition. And aided by recent rain, the council hopes to advance its programme of historicisation further. By 2020, it aims to have returned all central city roads to their eighteenth-century condition, and to add to the effect, to have banned all road transport apart from that seen in the city circa 1800. (The council has plans for a similar degeneration of the sewerage system – we’re awaiting more detail at the time of writing).

Anyway, to the potholes. The visitor can experience them in any part of the city at any time – you are rarely more than 3 metres away from a hole. Pothole tours are becoming increasingly popular, and a comprehensive guide is currently in process to be published next year (2016) jointly by Canongate and Edinburgh City Council. In the meantime, here is a taster: some general advice, and a guide to a detailed route on the south side of the city. Enjoy!

WHERE AND WHEN TO SEE POTHOLES: potholes are simply every where, but there are spectacular concentrations in the Old Town as you would expect, around Waverley Station, and on the principal streets of the New Town. Just keep your eyes focused downwards and you can’t miss them. As to when is good to visit, most visitors prefer dry conditions, which here means generally February and March, when crisp, bright sunshine can make then especially photogenic. But the near-monsoon conditions of the summer have their devotees: in a downpour, a pothole can quickly turn into a pond or a moat, and in some cases allow swimming. Even the smaller holes can make for a refreshing dip during the frenzy of the Festival. The winter also has its enthusiasts. Repeated freezing and thawing is of course the main natural process behind the pothole, and some folks try to see this in action; during a hard winter, you might even be lucky enough to see a ‘calving’, that is a rapid thaw leading to the creation of a new hole from an existing one. Like the calving of icebergs from a Greenland glacier, it’s one of the true spectacles of the natural world.

SAFETY FIRST. Potholes are DANGEROUS. They are best explored in foot. On no account should a car be used in a de-modernised Edinburgh street, or the driver will likely be faced with a repair bill running onto four figures. Likewise tours by bicycle – Edinburgh’s streets are littered with bikes that have been damaged beyond repair through inadvertent encounters with potholes. The best way to explore is on foot. Most of the holes can be seen safely this way, with a steady nerve and good sense of balance. The larger holes may require expert guidance and some visitors may prefer to be roped up to explore in full confidence. Small children should at all times be restrained. Children should be tied to a nearby railing while their parents go exploring

OUR FAVOURITE ROUTE: ‘VALLES MARINERIS’. There are any number of routes and an increasing number of guides offering tours. Our own favourites route is Valles Marineris, a traverse of Nile Grove on Edinburgh’s South Side, a route of sustained interest that is appropriate for anyone with reasonable scrambling skills. Many ‘potholers’ go straight for the popular sites on Princes Street, but this one avoids the crowds, and is we think, more satisfying. Named after the giant geological fault on Mars, its consists of a long, sustained trench, bifurcating the road into distinct sections. It can be attempted at any time, but is a serious winter expedition that should only be attempted by the most confident.

ROUTE SUMMARY: Based on OS Explorer 350 (Edinburgh, Musselburgh and Queensferry), NT248710 (start) to NT 246710 (finish). Approx 250m in total. Allow 3.5 hours, plus breaks as required. Overall level 6/10. Moderate scrambling required in places. No routefinding difficulties. Traffic may be a problem at peak periods – use your discretion. START at the junction of Nile Grove and Woodburn Terrace (NT248710) and briefly admire the handsome Victorian villas before setting off. The first obstacle is ‘Wee Billy’, an innocuous-looking area of cracked tamac, but highly unstable and risky in winter. Carefully explore the edge and make your way around the southern rim in a southerly direction to ‘Bryce Canyon’, a huge, badly eroded sub-valley. Admire the sublime erosion of the whole street at this point, but remember to keep your balance. Continue carefully west to ‘Buzz Aldrin’, a small, but picturesque crater with a distinctly lunar aspect. The terrain is rough here, but it is perfectly safe to this with a steady head – good photoraphs may be obtained from the crater looking upwards. From Aldrin, the route veers southwest briefly to take in the most spectacular feature of the walk, ‘Salmond’s Tables’ (some refer to it less charitably as ‘Salmond’s Arse’), a stunningly eroded bifurcated canyon, which seems to lead right down into the bowels of the earth.

From here, walk a few yards further southwest to the huge cliff at ‘Hell’s Kitchen.’ In the past this was suitable for climbing, but is now too unstable – enjoy the view, but otherwise avoid. Finally, veer northwest to the ‘Pools of Laing’, some gently undulating depressions, boggy and alcoholic in winter. Then make you way briskly to the mysterious ‘Yellow Lines’. These colourful features, now sadly decayed, were clearly created by humans, but their function has long remained opaque. Some suggest they marked landing strips for extraterrestrial visitors.

Edinburgh. Here UNESCO status helped secure the New Town at a moment when its aesthetic integrity was threatened by decline and decay. That process has had overwhelming public support – and it has left a legacy of powerful, conservation-minded pressure groups such as the Cockburn Association. It has also had two unfortunate consequences: (1) endemic corruption, and (2) infrastructural paralysis. The corruption is well-documented. It concerns the abuse, on a mind-boggling scale, of a system of statutory repair notices designed to protect the city’s historic integrity. Council officials and builders colluded; phony notices were issued; wildly excessive bills presented to property owners. The ‘paralysis’ we refer to is a general malaise, much commented on locally. At a macro scale, it is the city’s inability to manage projects. In this context, however, it is the small scale that matters: UNESCO, and the conservation lobby more generally makes it hard to modernise the building stock. There are no elevators in New Town flats, no modern windows, no sensible means of waste disposal, no proper insulation; communal areas are dingy, cold and forbidding; dividing buildings in ways other than the 200-year old norm is unheard of. It’s too expensive and too difficult to do otherwise, so people don’t. It’s not technically difficult, but conservation-minded regulation makes it impossible. The result is a city that is literally crumbling, despite its wealth.

And as for the Granton Waterfront development, four words, A monumental fuck up.

How on earth could this have happened apart from political ineptness and corruption amongst officials. How could a place as wealthy and privileged as Edinburgh get this so badly wrong? How could it screw up so monumentally at the height of a property boom? And with land supply among the tightest in Europe? And how could this project – Edinburgh’s flagship regeneration scheme – be left in a condition of stasis? As cock-ups go, this one hasn’t had anything like the publicity of the trams, or the Parliament. But if anything it’s more serious – can the city get anything right? Seems not.

Hope you found this informative and sadly entertaining.

No Ends To No Means

Friends and Readers

For what it’s worth, we have had a look at latest tram business case and, assuming the base cost of £144.7m for 4.7km is robust, the Council should be putting funding in place of between £202m and £221m before it commits to the project. The difference between the stated base cost and the figures we suggest is due primarily to the complete absence in the latest business case of any provision for optimism bias.

It is now a requirement in the planning of public sector projects that the appropriate level of optimism bias be applied, but the Council has omitted that from the calculation and instead applied a much lower figure for contingency. The Council’s repeated refusal to apply the correct OB uplift in the tram business cases of 2003, 2004 and 2006 meant that when the full extent of the cost overrun was finally revealed in 2011, the Council had to find around £230m at no notice, eventually leading to the requirement to borrow the funds and pay almost the same in interest over a 30-year term.

To omit optimism bias at this early stage, when any number of risks could drive costs up over the 6 years delivery period is, in our view, grossly misleading and, at worst, grossly negligent.

We wonder how that additional expense would fit in with the Council’s budget forecasts, particularly given that it is fairly close to its borrowing limit. If the tram project again goes over budget, then where will the Council find the money? we have a ghastly feeling we could hazard a guess. Again, if Lothian Buses employees are reading this, please take heed.

Incidentally, the stated benefits of the scheme, once again, appear to be complete nonsense and not evidenced in any reliable way.

A bit off topic, but did anyone notice Agenda B (another of those meetings held in private) at last Thursday’s Council Meeting?
Last Thursday was where a lot of focus was on whether to continue with the tram…
A sceptic or cynic would ask if that was an opportune time to introduce something else while attention was elsewhere??

Agenda B
Appointment of Chief Executive, Managing Director and General Manager for Transport for Edinburgh, Lothian Buses and Edinburgh Tram – report by the Acting Director of Services for Communities (to follow)

Is that Ian Craig gone or reappointed?????

Another well paid post while services are being cut. Afternoon lollipop patrols to be done away with to save £104,000. Get rid of one senior manager that would do it, oh but can’t do that can you.

Editions Of You

Friends and readers.

We hear that our favorite Care Manager and Holiday groupie Loraine half nelson Banks is already planning for her festive getaway. Such is her commitment to her holidays she has taken a fortnights leave, paid of course to get away from the troglodytes in West Pilton Gardens so she can plan her ”visit Santa in Lapland” long weekend, about 10 days long.

Our other favorite manager, yep the Council has plenty of them, Pete[formerly the perm]Strong has been looking to see if he can creatively use some of the taxpayers dosh which he and his other minions spend so freely in sunny Trinity, to purchase a Xmas Tree a Twenty footer so it can be seen right around the Community, and he can stick two fingers up to the punters in a show of defiance, ”see what we spend your money on”. Why not stick Prada Hinds on the top of the tree and she can shout to the punters about how you stupid bastards don’t appreciate what I’m doing for you. Don’t forget to give her a magic wand Pete so she can disappear up her own backside, although she’s half way there anyway.

Maybe Comrade Black the Lottery holiday maker could hang the Community Xmas lights, chances are though he’s the one most likely to be hung, but when Loraine half nelson Banks found out about oor Willies little holiday scam, her ears pricked up and we understand she has been on a crusade to try and wangle a lottery grant for some fictitious Community scheme, just ask oor Willie he’s an expert in that department. Possibly a dodgy application for a resident Santa who could distribute Prada Hinds election material along with a Scotmid selection box, don’t know which is the most odious, and of course a fact finding trip to the Caribbean to find out how they celebrate Xmas, and how does Santa get down their chimneys.

Sucks knows a few worthies who would go down your chimney but not to leave presents, but to leave with your flat screen HD telly with 3D option, and your ticket for a place in the Scotmid queue, these are like gold dust. Tickets to get into the front of the Scotmid queue are exchanging hands on E-Bay for large amounts of money. So we will leave you with the thought of Pete[formerly the perm] Strong doing the Argentine Tango on Strictly Come Dancing in his best and tightest latex trousers with extra padding of course. Now there’s an excuse for a Lottery funded holiday eh Willie.

Lets Get Ready To Hide

Friends and readers.

Councillors claim there is no money for essential services and 2000 face the dole, but CEC have money for this tacky Xmas rip off in the City center and the tram extension.

As usual they think they have chosen the right priorities when nothing could be further from the truth.

A reader sent us this comment.

I moved out of Edinburgh recently after staying here all my life and coming along past Waverley Market for work this morning and I can only say thank god I’m out of the city outwith working hours – it’s beyond tacky!

As said previously, other European cities do it tastefully and in scale but not in Edinburgh. Let’s cram as much rubbish into our wee streets as possible.

As much as I love Christmas, certainly don’t love it in our city centre.

Well friends and readers, if you have anything to say about Edinburgh’s Xmas con and it’s traditional Scottish Xmas with the German Market let us know before we let rip with some sarcasm of our own. After all it’s only the 22nd of November and the greed and bright lights have begun already. How do you fancy paying £9 for a ride on one of the super duper thingamajigs, bargain eh, and all goes into the pockets of the chancers, so where exactly does the City benefit out of all this tasteless tacky shit designed to take our minds off the real shit that’s going on in this City. But of Course we have all got to have fun in fact forced to have fun getting ripped off by some stall holders who rub their hands together not to keep warm, but in anticipation of the stupidity of the mug punters.

But of course we are told that one in 5 jobs is festival based, what a fuckin disgrace. A once great city reduced to paying corrupt officials 6 figure salaries, cutting vital services, fuckin about with Tram extensions which we can’t afford nor want, and we will be paying for the existing shit for generations to come. But never mind 20% of the employment is based on our festivals. Bullshit crap, bet these punters are not earning what tossers like WATTON and ADAIR are earning and all their other incompetent useless paper pushers. The next time you hear some joker telling you that 1 in 5 jobs relies on the festivals tell them that’s shameful. Ask them if that’s planning ahead for our City’s future, ask them what happens if the ripped off tourist stops coming. And ask them why oh why can we not offer a better future for our people than waiting for the next coachload of ” Gee ain’t this quaint honey” punters.