Monthly Archives: December 2015

Ta Very Much

Friends and readers.

We at Pilton Sucks were in hibernation until the new year but two more scandals involving Edinburgh shity Council made it hard for us to resist going to print.
First, the decision to allow the so called Granton Central Developments full planning permission to build over 2,000 cardboard units down Waterfront way. Sucks had already exposed the chancers fawcett and Price who head up this company as nothing more than carpet baggers who have built or developed nothing but have been promising the earth to the gullible punters who listened to their nonsense. We understand that a planning meeting took place a week or so ago at which the suited and booted team of Granton Central Developments outlined their plans for the area. Sucks had been saying for some time that these plans were flawed and full of holes and yet only one individual had the courage to speak against it in a room full of people determined to push the plans through so they could avoid being fined by the Scottish Government for not having their quota of new housing development.
It now appears that Granton and District Community Council stood alone in opposing these fantasy plans but no-one listened even though the chair of this Community Council Fred Marinello spoke eloquently against the development we are told. We were also informed by an inside source that no vote was taken for or against and the convener of the Planning Committee Ian Perry produced a document with only a few minutes left of the meeting which he felt would be a solution.
Surely this is improper, and what exactly did this document contain. Members were given ten minutes to read and digest this last minute document and take a decision based on it’s contents. On top of which we understand there was no traffic impact study nor any retail impact study, yet GCD got the permission they were seeking so they can now sell off the plots with full permission which was the full intention in the first place, leaving the local Community out in the cold as per usual.

Second. This was to award the hopeless former director of Education Gillian Tee a six figure sum to piss off quietly, and this at a time when funds are scarce. Tee was under or should have been under investigation for a number of fuck ups including the very public Cameron House scandal, now that can be put to bed. Yet another CEC scandal to add to a never ending list!
When will the Scottish Government order an inquiry in the ‘performance’ of CEC?
What is it that frightens Holyrood about taking action on behalf of the citizens of Edinburgh and indeed Scotland where Local ‘Authorities’ are concerned?

The Highs Of Xmas

Friends and readers.

Continuing or festive freebies we have a little something special for you, another parody of that traditional Xmas song, The Twelve Days Of Xmas.

This version dear friends is, The Twelve Drugs Of Christmas, same tune of course just slightly altered lyrics.

1] On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me
A tab of yellow sunshine LSD.

2] On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me
200 reds and a tab of yellow sunshine LSD

3] On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me
3 pounds of Grass
200 reds and a tab of yellow sunshine LSD.

4] On the forth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
4 grams of Hash
3 pounds of Grass
200 Reds and a tab of yellow sunshine LSD.

5] On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
5 Valiums
4 grams of Hash
3 pounds of Grass
200 Reds and a tab of yellow sunshine LSD.

6] On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
6 joints of smoking
5 Valiums
4 grams of Hash
3 pounds of Grass
200 Reds and a tab of yellow sunshine LSD.

7] On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me
7 whites of Buzzing
6 joints of smoking
5 Valiums
4 grams of Hash
3 pounds of Grass
200 Reds and a tab of yellow sunshine LSD.

8] On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
8 spoons of snorting
7 whites of Buzzing
6 joints of smoking
5 Valiums
4 grams of Hash
3 pounds of Grass
200 Reds and a tab of yellow sunshine LSD.

9] On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
9 caps of dropping
8 spoons of snorting
7 whites of buzzing
6 joints of smoking
5 Valiums
4 grams of Hash
3 pounds of Grass
200 Reds and a tab of yellow sunshine LSD.

10] On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me
10 yolli buttons
9 caps of dropping
8 spoons of snorting
7 whites of buzzing
6 joints of smoking
5 Valiums
4 grams of Hash
3 pounds of Grass
200 Reds and a tab of yellow sunshine LSD.

11] On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me
11 magic Mushrooms
10 yolli buttons
9 caps of dropping
8 spoons of snorting
7 whites of buzzing
6 joints of smoking
5 Valiums
4 grams of Hash
3 pounds of Grass
200 Reds and a tab of yellow sunshine LSD.

12] On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
12 kids a popping
11 magic Mushrooms
10 yolli buttons
9 caps of dropping
8 spoons of snorting
7 whites of buzzing
6 joints of smoking
5 Valiums
4 grams of Hash
3 pounds of Grass
200 Reds and a tab of yellow sunshine LSD.

Yes Even More

Friends and readers.

Edinburgh shity Council has issued a memo to all it’s staff. We at Sucks have had a look at it, and it relates to the song The Twelve Day’s Of Xmas.

To all staff.

The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree, which never produced the cash crop forecasted, will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing considerable savings in maintenance
Two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is simply not cost effective. In addition, their romance during working hours could not be condoned. The positions are, therefore, eliminated
The three French hens will remain intact. After all, everyone loves the French
The four calling birds will be replaced by an automated voice mail system, with a call waiting option. An analysis is underway to determine who the birds have been calling, how often and how long they talked
The five golden rings have been put on hold by the HR. Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could have negative implications for those of a weak disposition. Diversification into other precious metals, as well as a mix of T-Bills and high technology stuff, appear to be in order
The six geese-a-laying constitutes a luxury which can no longer be afforded. It has long been felt that the production rate of one egg per goose per day was an example of the general decline in productivity. Three geese will be let go, and an upgrading in the selection procedure by Human Resources will assure management that, from now on, every goose it gets will be a good one
The seven swans-a-swimming is obviously a number chosen in better times. The function is primarily decorative. Mechanical swans are on order. The current swans will be retrained to learn some new strokes, thereby enhancing their outplacement
As you know, the eight maids-a-milking concept has been under heavy scrutiny by the equality committee . A male/female balance in the workforce is being sought. The more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no upward mobility. Automation of the process may permit the maids to try a-mending, a-mentoring or a-mulching
Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number. This function will be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps
Ten Lords-a-leaping is overkill. The high cost of Lords, plus the expense of international air travel, prompted the Compensation Committee to suggest replacing this group with ten out-of-work Councillors. While leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, the savings are significant as we expect an oversupply of unemployed Councillors this year
Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple case of the band getting too big. A substitution with a string quartet, a cutback on new music, and no uniforms, will produce savings which will drop right to the bottom line
Overall we can expect a substantial reduction in assorted people, fowl, animals and related expenses. Though incomplete, studies indicate that stretching deliveries over twelve days is inefficient. If we can drop ship in one day, service levels will be improved.

Regarding the lawsuit filed by the legal department seeking expansion to include the legal profession ['Thirteen lawyers-a-suing'], a decision is pending.

Deeper cuts may be necessary in the future to remain competitive. Should that happen, the committee will request management to scrutinize the Snow White Division to see if seven dwarfs is the right number.

And a little ditty to end with.

It was coming up to Christmas and Sammy asked his mum if he could have a new bike. So, she told him that the best idea would be to write to Santa Claus. But John, having just played a vital role in the school nativity play, said he would prefer to write to the baby Jesus. John went to his room and wrote ‘ Dear Jesus, I have been a very good boy and would like to have a bike for Christmas.’ But he wasn’t very happy when he read it over. So he decided to try again and this time he wrote ‘Dear Jesus, I’m a good boy most of the time and would like a bike for Christmas.’ He read it back and wasn’t happy with that one either. He tried a third version. ‘Dear Jesus, I could be a good boy if I tried hard and especially if I had a new bike.’ He read that one too, but he still wasn’t satisfied. So, he decided to go out for a walk while he thought about a better approach. After a short time he passed a house with a small statue of the Virgin Mary in the front garden. He crept in, stuffed the statue under his coat, hurried home and hid it under the bed. Then he wrote this letter. ‘Dear Jesus, If you want to see your mother again, you’d better send me a new bike.’

Yes More Mirth

Friends and readers.

With all the rip offs that the season of not so good will brings, let us at Pilton Sucks bring some free festive cheer to you as our cynicism continues at pace.

T’was the night before Christmas and Santa’s a wreck…
How to live in a world that’s politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to “Elves”.
“Vertically Challenged” they were calling themselves.
And labour conditions at the North Pole
were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their rooftops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called “Unenlightened.”

And to show you the strangeness of life’s ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorised use of his nose
And had gone on Jeremy Kyle, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she’d enough of this life,

Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he’d never had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.

Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls, or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that’s warlike or non-pacifistic.

No candy or sweets…they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No Rugby, no football…someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.

He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you’ve got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.

A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere…even you.
So here is that gift, it’s price beyond worth…
May you and your loved ones, enjoy peace on Earth.

A Politically Correct Christmas Poem for the anoraks.
Next up is our take on the song Santa Claus is coming to town.

You’d better watch out,
You’d better not cry,
You’d better not pout;
I’m telling you why.
Santa Claus is tapping
Your phone.

He’s bugging your room,
He’s reading your mail,
He’s keeping a file
And running a tail.
Santa Claus is tapping
Your phone.

He hears you in the bedroom,
Surveils you out of doors,
And if that doesn’t get the goods,
Then he’ll use provocateurs.

So, you mustn’t assume
That you are secure.
On Christmas Eve
He’ll kick in your door.
Santa Claus is tapping
Your phone!

And finally, for the poor bastard somewhere who will be eating Egg Nog just to keep the peace.

While the little boys cry ‘merry Christmas is coming,’
Shall I be as dull as a water-drunk log?
No! I’ll sing you a song (for we bards must be humming)
And the burden shall still be, Beware of Egg-nog.

When the bowl mantles over the elegant foam,
And the steam rises up in a silvery tog;
Put by the potation, keep Reason at home,
And think of my warning, Beware of Egg-nog.

When Circe, the witch, caught Ulysses’s men,
She gave each a dram that soon made him a hog;
The identical mixture–’tis now as ’twas then;
So attend to the moral, Beware of Egg-nog.

When the circle is form’d, the glass passes round,
Old Satan draws night, tho’, as usual, incog.,
And chuckles to see good Sobriety drown’d–
Would you frustrate his malice–Beware of Egg-nog.

But why do I rail at one liquor this way?
Is no other as fatal; rum, brandy, or grog?
Yes, yes, they’re all one, I mean all when I say,
And I’ll say but once more now, Beware of Egg-nog!

More Mirth?

Friends and readers.

Sucks is giving you something for nothing, a few laughs, it’s not much but it’s free, and there is not a lot of that at this time of year. So if you are wondering why the Forth Bridge was allowed to get into such a state when allegedly there are regular inspections, or were they curtailed as a cost cutting exercise, or how did the Councils preferred contractor get the gig when all the experience they have of bridge maintenance is installing boilers in peoples homes, you may prefer to just read Sucks and for a short time forget you are constantly lied to, cheated and conned and like mushrooms fed shit and kept in the dark.

Twas the day after Christmas and all through the house
Children sat slack-jawed, bored on the couch.

Wrappings and toys littered the floor,
An incredible mess that all did abhor.

With Mum in her robe and dad in his jeans,
We waded in to get the place clean.

When suddenly the doorbell: it started to clatter,
I sprang to the Security-View to check out the matter.

The new-fallen snow, now blackened with soot,
Was trampled and icy and treacherous to foot.

But suddenly in view, did I gasp and pant:
An unhappy bill collector and eight tiny accountants.

The door flew open and in they came,
Stern-looking men with bills in my name.

On Discover, on Visa, on American Express,
On Mastercard too, I sadly confess,
Right to my limits, then beyond my net worth,
Over the top I had charged, in a frenzy of mirth.

The black-suited men, so somber, so strict,
I wondered why me that they had first picked.

They stared at me with a look I couldn’t miss,
That said “friend, when are you for paying for this?”

I shrugged my shoulders, but then I grew bolder,
Went to the cabinet and pulled out a folder.

“As you can see,” I said with a smile,
“It’s bankruptcy that I’ll have to file!”
And with a swoop of my arm, my middle digit extended
I threw the bills in the fire: the matter had ended.

The scent of burnt ash came to my nose,
As up the chimney my credit-worthiness rose.

Without another word they turned and walked out,
Got into their limos, but one gave a shout:
“You may think that’s the answer to all of your fears,
But it’s nothing you’ll charge for at least seven years!

Modern Twist, Sadly

Friends and readers.

The dreaded over hyped, over expensive and rip off festive season is well and truly upon us. So we at Sucks thought we would poke a little fun at this festive jamboree and give you something for nothing. Yes dear friends you can enjoy the fun side of things with Pilton Sucks for free. We have given you the cast for our festive panto, The Wizard Of Oz with it’s all star or more accurately chancers cast and now we will give you a little festive poetry to giggle at. Here’s the first one.

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except Mum’s mouse.
The computer was humming, the icons were hopping,
As Mum did last minute Internet shopping.

The stockings were hung by the modem with care
In hope that St. Nicholas would bring new software.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of computer games danced in their heads.

PageMaker for Billy, and Quicken for Dan,
And Carmen Sandiego for Pamela Ann.
The letters to Santa had been sent out by Mum,
To -

Which has now been re-routed to Washington State
Because Santa’s workshop has been bought by Bill Gates.
All the elves and reindeer have had to skedaddle
To flashy new quarters in suburban Seattle.

After centuries of a life that was simple and spare,
St. Nicholas is suddenly a new billionaire,
With a shiny red Porsche in the place of his sleigh,
And a house on Lake Washington that’s just down the way

From where Bill has his mansion. The old fellow preens
In black Gucci boots and red Calvin Klein jeans.
The elves have stock options and desks with a view,
Where they write computer code for Johnny and Sue.

No more dolls or toy soldiers or little toy drums (ahem – pardon me)
No more dolls or tin soldiers or little toy drums
Will be under the tree, only compact disk ROMS
With the Microsoft label. So spin up your drive,
From now on Christmas runs only on Win 10

More rapid than eagles the competitors came,
And Bill whistled, and shouted, and called them by name.
“Now, ADOBE! Now, CLARIS! Now, INTUIT! too,
Now, APPLE! and NETSCAPE! you are all of you through,

It is Microsoft’s SANTA that the kids can’t resist,
It’s the ultimate software with a traditional twist –
Recommended by no less than the jolly old elf,
And on the package, a picture of Santa himself.

Get ‘em young, keep ‘em long, is Microsoft’s scheme,
And a merger with Santa is a marketer’s dream.
To the top of the NASDAQ! to the top of the Dow!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away – wow!”

And Mum in her ‘kerchief and dad in his cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
The whir and the hum of our satellite platter,

As it turned toward that new Christmas star in the sky,
The SANTALITE owned by the Microsoft guy.
As I sprang from my bed and was turning around,
My computer turned on with a Jingle-Bells sound.

And there on the screen was a smiling Bill Gates
Next to jolly old Santa, two arm-in-arm mates.
And I heard them exclaim in voice so bright,
Have a Microsoft Christmas, and to all a good night.

On Saturn We Live To Be 205

Friends and readers.

We witnessed on our TV screens the flag of war swung by our Prime Minister as he sharpened the axe of conflict and through the jingoistic use of democracy won a vote to bomb a country already ravaged by war and internal strife. The mighty Western powers with their massive arms industry and huge stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction have taken it upon themselves to enforce their own brand of force to ensure regime change. The vested interests of the corporate multi nationals will of course be protected as death continues to rain down upon the heads of the innocent in what many see as a vain attempt to flush out and destroy a gang of murderers, who by our forays into others sovereign territory we helped create.
We have learned little since we evolved from our stone age ancestors, only the weaponry and it’s delivery have progressed. With a gun in one hand and a bible in the other we pontificate about peace and freedom yet we think not a jot about interfering in the politics of another country if our financial interests are threatened. We use the peoples of these lands as a human shield to disguise our real intentions of a new world order run by the financiers and their political friends.
Our Government attacks the weakest at home as they ravage the poorest with a severity unknown in the modern era, and as we enter into what could be a prolonged conflict is there any doubt that it will be the weakest and poorest who will suffer as the bombs drop in a far off land.

When politicians ramble on
about rights and freedoms and war,
we turn away in disgusted
silence, which they say is golden.

I disagree wholeheartedly,
unless you want to say gold pays
for the silence. Choices are made,
big bombs fall, machine guns chatter
and children die. All in silence.
Their mothers, too, and families.
Our silence is complicity.

We sacrifice our boys and girls
in silence. We pay our taxes
in silence. We make the bullets,
the bombs and the planes in silence.

We watch war films and play war games
in silence. When we get our chance
to say something in the poll-box,
our habit is too rock-solid.

We need the gold glare of trumpets,
of words saying, “This must stop now.”
We need bright rivers of people
flowing down Wall Street, crying, “Peace!”

And we need to stop paying gold
or sons’ or daughters’ blood for war.

Cast Complete

Friends and readers.
Our cast of characters for the Sucks Panto, The Wizard Of Oz is now complete.

Dorothy [Lesley Prada Hinds]
A not so young and sprightly girl, Dorothy lives with her aunt and uncle on the bleak Drylaw prairie. She is energetic and delights in her dog Keiza. After a whirling cyclone lands her house with atic extension in Oz, she embarks on a journey to the Emerald City to ask the Wizard of Oz how to return to Drylaw. Dorothy is sweet and simple and represents traditional and idealistic moral values [Oh Aye] . She lives in a world full of fantasy’s, like properly funded and costed projects and does not trouble herself with much anxiety or worry. Throughout her journey, her goal is to return home despite the wonders and magic of Oz and dip her nose in the Holyrood trough.

Uncle Henry [Ricky flatulence Henderson]
Dorothy’s uncle and husband to Aunt Em. He is a reformed member of the Labour Party

Aunt Em [Marion where's Leith Donaldson]
The wife of Uncle Henry and aunt to Dorothy, the hot and bleak Labour party benches has stripped her of her youth and mirth. She does not understand Dorothy’s freshness of spirit and slight of hand.

Wicked Witch of the East [Maureen Iv'e got an Idea Child]
Killed when Dorothy’s house landed on her after the cyclone dropped it in the land of Oz, she wreaked havoc on the
Munchkins for years by enslaving them. After her death, Dorothy takes the magic silver slippers from her feet.

Witch of the North [Jim on your bike Orr]
One of the two good witches, the Witch of the North greeted Dorothy upon her arrival in Oz. He is small and elderly and very kind. Although he cannot help Dorothy get back to Drylaw, he gives her a mark of safety on her forehead. and tells her the air is fresher on the independent bench.

Boq [Sue three jobs Bruce]
A rich and influential Munchkin, gained through double dealing, corruption and downright cheating.

The Scarecrow [Pete formerly the perm Strong]
Rescued by Dorothy from his dull life in Craigmillar the Scarecrow’s greatest wish is to procure brains for himself from the Wizard of Oz. Despite his perceived lack of brains, however, the Scarecrow kids on he is intelligent and resourceful. At the end of the panto he becomes the ruler of Emerald City in the Wizard’s absence.

The Tin Woodman [Cammy squint tie Day]
Rescued by Dorothy after rusting in the forest, the Tin Woodman desires a heart from the Wizard of Oz. He used to be a real man and was in love with a Munchkin girl, but due to the Wicked Witch of the East’s evil machinations he lost his limbs and eventually became a man of tin without a heart. Despite his belief that he lacked emotion, he proves himself a dodgy kind of character, completely untrustworthy and ignores the very punters who supported him . He is given the task of ruling over the Winkies at the end of the novel.[lucky him. The winkies being a couple of right no users ERIC ADAIR and PETER WATTON]

The Cowardly Lion [Willie community socialist Black]
The Lion encounters Dorothy, Toto, the Scarecrow, and the Tin Woodman in the forest. He claims to be a coward and wishes for the Wizard of Oz to give him courage. However, he proves himself a real chancer in many situations throughout the panto. He later rules over all of the animals in the forest.[The mugs that listen to him anyway]

The Wizard of Oz [Andy pandy Burns]
The Wizard reveals himself to be a ventriloquist and bafoon , who accidentally ended up in the land of Oz and was taken for a powerful sorcerer by its Munchkin inhabitants. He prolonged the illusion and had them build the beautiful Emerald City with it’s own beautiful but non affordable Tram system. Benevolent but undoubtedly a humbug, the Wizard is unmasked by Dorothy and her companions when they return to claim the promises he made them if they were successful in killing the Wicked Witch of the West. He helps the Scarecrow, Tin Woodman, and Lion with their wishes and tries to take Dorothy back to Drylaw in a hot air balloon, but it unfortunately departs without her.

Wicked Witch of the West [Vicki the hat Redpath]
Given the task to kill the Wicked Witch of the West, Dorothy and her companions venture into her land. The Witch resents their intrusion and sends many of her creatures to destroy or capture them, finally succeeding with the Winged Monkeys. Powerful, bitter, and full of rage, the Witch is happy to enslave Dorothy and the Lion like she had enslaved the Winkies before them. She covets Dorothy’s magic slippers [made by Prada of course], recognizing their power, and tries to take them from her, but this proves her undoing when a vexed Dorothy throws a pail of water on her and she melts away into nothingness.

Glinda [Deidre cobber Brock]
The Good Witch of the South, Glinda is young and beautiful [artistic licence]. Dorothy appeals to her to help her return to Drylaw, but Glinda reveals to her the power of the silver Prada slippers that can take her there right away. Glinda also proves to her supporters that she can become invisible once they had worked their asses off for her to get her elected to the house of horrors at Westminster. using the three commands of the Golden Cap that she procures from Dorothy to help the Scarecrow, Tin Woodman, and the Cowardly Lion, she returns to her hideaway, never to be seen again, well not till the next election.

Kalidahs [Steve tree hugger Burgess, Nigel thumbsucker Bagshaw, Gavin Co2 Corbett]
“bodies like bears and heads like tigers” that attack the travelers on their way to Oz. After crossing a ditch by walking across a felled tree, the Scarecrow devises a plan to dislodge the tree as the Kalidahs cross, thus sending them to their death.

Mr. Joker [Alan weasel Jackson]
A clown made of china. He tries to stand on his head, so has fallen and been mended so many times and as a result he is no longer pretty. He taunts Dorothy with a poem, telling her “You’re quite as stiff / And prim as if / You’d eaten up a poker!” The china Princess demands Mr. Joker treat Dorothy with respect.

That’s it folks cast complete and what an assortment they are. We tried to find a part for new Councillor Lewis wet nappy Ritchie but couldn’t, so he will have to make do with making a fool of himself which according to his colleagues he managed to do when posing for the cameras while wreath laying.[Who votes for these ass holes]

Vote One Vote All

Friends and readers.

Now the idea of a referendum over the Tram issue is being muted, maybe it’s no bad thing given less than 50% of the Edinburgh punters will ever use them.

Two things spring to mind here. Firstly it is one of the few sensible ideas coming out of Faulty Towers in many a long year, but for this to happen it would require CEC to become a democratic administration. That will not happen under this coalition.
Secondly, as this is public money we are talking about, along with the question of the trams on the referendum , we should also add questions about the continuance of the Arts Festival, The Fringe and our Winter Dismaland. By asking these 4 questions at once and at no extra cost, we could finally put to bed all debate on these issues.

It’s a pity the Tories have only now realised the folly in spending hundreds of millions of pounds on stupid trams, having voted in favour of the current white elephant that blights our streets.

Still, better late than never, and they are right about this, it’s blatantly clear that the council intent to continue throwing money down the tram hole, on the ‘offchance’ that they will vote to complete the Leith line once they are all safe on the other side of the election.

No private company would operate like this – don’t spend ANY money on ‘preparatory works’ or land acquisition until you have agreed whether you intend to go ahead or not. Otherwise it’s potentially wasted cash.

We would welcome the chance to vote on this, and we would certainly vote against it. It’s not just the potential for years of chaos, incompetent oversight, businesses bankrupt and spiraling costs, it’s also the fact that this will be funded by yet more borrowing. Councils can only borrow to a certain level, and once they have reached that point it’s over. If they use this facility to fund trams, then what about all the other capital projects that could have been funded? The case has not been made for a tram extension and only those with extremely short memories would vote for another utter shambles like last time.