Friends and readers.
We don’t want you hiding under the duvet or tripping over the paint that was left after you had a makeover but could this be a Constituency near you. Beware of the canvasser for they are hiding behind every lamp post waiting to pounce on you to ask if they can rely on your vote for their particular candidate. Yes for the next few weeks we will all be under siege, none of us will be safe not even in our own homes as these terminators torment your very existence. Don’t go to the toilet if you don’t have to as a punters hand complete with promise card will thrust upwards from the toilet bowl. Open the washing machine door and some punter will canvass you, or worst still it will be the candidate. Go out in disguise, deny your very existence for only the brave venture out during the election Apocalypse.
We are a nation under siege from the afflicted, the party faithful who by some twisted logic work to get someone else a big pay day and then are forgotten about till they are needed again. You will be bombarded by promises none of which will be kept, all of which are designed to wear you down till you reluctantly agree to vote for whoever persecutes you the least. They are everywhere even in the Scotmid queue, bet they have been there for a lengthy time, in fact it’s reported that someone was canvassing for Harold Wilson in the Scotmid queue such was the length of time they had been in the queue.
The punters of sunny Forth and beyond will not be immune to this torture and persecution, as hopeless Hinds and Ben your honour MacPherson bombard you with fantasy and make believe as they attempt to catch you in their political web and bleed you dry. So dear friends as a little appetizer to the main event, a sort of B movie to the Oscar winner, we at Sucks thought about what becomes of us as the party hacks and candidates try to make our lives a living hell. Below is our doomsday scenario.
Any similarity to anybody you know is purely intentional.
A Political Horror Story is a zombie tale with a political background story- not from a left or right minded perspective, but from that of an average punter who feels left behind by the system. It is the tale of a regular guy- an unemployed factory worker- in the first days of the end of the world, a time in which the ways of doing things have become muddled between pre and post apocalypse. It may not be too late to save humanity, but any progress that is made gets sidetracked by the failings of the media and politicians, religious fanatics, left-wing zealots, right-wing zealots, political correctness, and bureaucracy. Will divisiveness and the failed policies of our past doom us in the future? Yes, but at least there will be some laughs along the way.