Friends and readers.
We are now officially up and running for the snout in trough handicap chase with the winner taking up their all expenses paid seat in the Scottish Parliament.
Down in sunny Edinburgh North and Leith you can practically hear Ben your honour MacPherson rubbing his hands together as his party the SNP are well ahead in the polls, just as well as Benny boy has been running a facebook campaign which means you can con most of the punters most of the time keeping the real work to a minimum. Photos a plenty of the happy smiling campaign team which is about all they are doing as we hear that there are still thousands of introductory leaflets still to go out, best using a distribution team Benny boy, oops have we let the cat out of the bag, remember to put that in the expenses returns, or we might have to remind the returning officer.
That little issue aside the punters can barely contain their excitement as the campaign moves up a gear, same sort of excitement that’s generated while you stand in the Scotmid queue or the queue to get into the queue. Now there’s an idea for Benny boy if he wants a trapped audience, campaign in Scotmid, only problem being that it will be the same punters you will be lying to as they are unlikely to get served before May5th.
Pilton Sucks as always remains neutral but we will all get served up the same shit and lies by all the candidates with the most shit coming from the two leading protagonists Labours Lesley Prada Hinds or hopeless to her mates, and Ben your honour MacPherson for the SNP, the rest are merely bystanders and also rans, and that’s showbiz folks. Benny boy is on his starting blocks and will turn up for the opening of an envelope if he is asked, while Prada Hinds plots and schemes as to how best to avoid the punters she needs to vote for her while at the same time smiling through gritted teeth, which rumour has it are her own allegedly.
Hopeless Hinds has been quite on the calamity front with no current fuck ups to speak of, doesn’t need any she has enough to fill a ballot box or two, but she must be hoping that her major fuck ups don’t catch up with her until or if she is elected, like the Tram inquiry, which if it takes any longer will have cost as much as the shity Trams did in the first place, and of course the Edinburgh life long learning project which she chaired and which £400,000 of taxpayers dosh has gone ta ta along with the now retired Mike the fraud Rosendale.
How do these fuckers get away with it, maybe any investigation team should ask the SNP’s favorite fraud Michelle Thomson how to work a scam and get away with it. The money went missing on Pradas watch and she has been very quite about it all along with her £20,000 of SSE shares, the same SSE that has a lucrative contract with Edinburgh shity Council and got heavily fined for conning their punters. What a bunch of thieving assholes.
We are preached to by a bunch of chancers who when they get elected fuck us over and steal from us. Meanwhile back at the ranch Benny boy has at least a party leader who skillfully manages to avoid any type of responsibility or accountability as there is no opposition to speak of in Holyrood so wee Nickie can bob and weave with all the patriotic verve of a snake while our country teeters on the brink of bankruptcy.
Then we have Kezia Dugdale Labours finest and if you watched or could stand to watch the leaders debate on the telly you would have witnessed probably or arguably the worst television performer that Labour has produced. She just hasn’t got it, can’t get it right and hasn’t a clue how to deal with wee Nickie who is streets ahead of her and she knows it. It might have helped if the Daily Record columnist Dugdale had managed to have a job of some kind before she entered Holyrood through the back door of the list. Wee Nickie must be down on her knees at night praying to her God thanking him or her for the jobless wonder Dugdale. If ever there was an electoral liability it’s Kezia Dugdale, who has to date taken her party to it’s lowest opinion poll rating in electoral history, an achievement in itself.
So where does that leave the anti Socialist Lesley Prada Hinds, does anybody care, probably not, well nobody except our Lesley herself who may well miss out on her last big chance of robbing the public purse while kidding on she actually believes in what she says which isn’t much and certainly isn’t worth listening to. Don’t see Lesley desperate to have Kezia her glorious leader anywhere near her as she can fuck it up all by herself without anyone’s help.
Yes folks we at Sucks will keep you informed of every bit of the action real or make believe keeping you informed of the bits that the honorable candidates don’t want you to hear.