Category Archives: Cramond

Summer Night City

Friends and readers

As believe it or not the summer holiday period is fast approaching, many punters will be dreaming of sunnier climes, and that’s all they can do given the price of everything.

So dear friends let us think of summer days and nights down around the sweet smelling air that is Cramond. Normally as Summer approaches the inhabitants of Cramond try to erect electrified fences to keep the unwashed out. Normally planning permission for such a venture is refused so a social mix and interaction take place, how nice.

The sound of Greensleeves coming from the dodgy Ice cream van whose prices are such that he offers low rate loans so you can treat yourself and your brood to double chocolate nuggets all round. The toilets that are never open encouraging the visitor to relieve themselves on the luscious grass which after each day of sun worshiping by the sun deprived punters resembles a battle field where plastic fizzy juice bottles with exotic names such as summer fruits are used as playthings and then discarded as the bins are normally over flowing with wasps hovering around having a field day stinging the kids who are covered in gooey sticky stuff which has some sort of chemical reaction with the depleting ozone layer.

Punters in their hundreds descend on the tranquillity of Cramond, many with their pet doggies, where’s Cammy when you need him,  who proceed to bark and snarl at everything that moves as do some of the owners. As our day trippers near Cramond Village to enjoy the ambiance of the olde worldy atmosphere you are met by yet another over priced Ice Cream van spewing out enough diesel fumes to cause another Ice Age. The local inhabitants have long since run to the safety of their nuclear bunkers with enough supplies to last the summer.

But it is not all bad news for some as the sitting tenants of the Cramond Inn rub their hands together as they quickly rearrange the price list and add 50p to everything including the napkins. There are some brave souls who insist in taking a dip in the less than clear water, and there are rumours that one or two of the lucky water dipping punters have come back to terra firma with strange things attatched to them as yet unknown to the scientific world.

But it’s all good rarely clean fun as the sand riddled soaked children make the long march back home with their parents who are feeling slightly woozy from the double chocolate nuggets and the over sugared fizzy juice, they can look back in time to come and recall that they made the right decision not to go to Tenerife with it’s Sangria, time share sellers and ify hamburgers, but to stay and holiday in sunny Cramond where you can roam, dream and dodge the dog poo, where is Cammy when you need him.