Category Archives: Lesley Hinds

The Priest The Bride And His Excellency

Friends and readers.

Here we have a story which may or may not be accurate that’s up to you to decide. It may be that you recognise some of the content, in fact who knows it could be you.

Lord Gerald D’ Gros Cul former ambassador at the court of St James and rumoured descendant of the liaison between Louis 14th and Marie Antoinette had decided to retire to his inherited estate in Scotland. D’ Gros Cul estate was a handsome pile of some 250,000 acres of prime land. Land which included several villages with a total population of around 1500. Naturally all the houses these people stayed in belonged to  D’ Gros Cul as well.

Most of the population worked on the land or within The villages and all paid a levy to D’ Gros Cul PLC.  D’ Gros Cul surrounded himself with a small band of brown nosers who danced to his every whim and who themselves stayed in tied cottages close to D’Gros Cul hall. Every year normally around springtime D’ Gros Cul and his hangers on enjoyed a shoot on his vast estate, where the villagers were employed as unpaid lackies at the beck and call of his Lordship and hangers on.

Most of the villagers were poor ordinary people who asked for nothing other than a decent existence for themselves and their families. They scratched a meagre existence which the estate took their percentage of and if anyone had difficulty paying then certain eviction faced them. D’Gros Cul had friends in high places and it wasn’t a surprise to often see members of the Royal Family and the odd Government Minister swanning around the Estate with their flunkeys following on.

Many villagers were unhappy at the way they were treated but had no outlet for their concerns, so had to be content with village hall meetings held in secret to avoid D’Gros Cul or his brown nosers finding out and punishing the villagers for daring to complain about their lot. The political process had ignored the serfs of D’Gros Cul estate and had actually condemned them to nothing more than slaves of a system that encouraged the D’ Gros Cul’s of this world and even given them tax breaks so they could further enjoy a lifestyle already cushioned by the hard work of the local population.

While the Politicians far away pontificated on the democratic freedoms enjoyed by all and that we had to encourage inward investment and pay homage to the better classes to boot who were the backbone of the country, the village populations struggled with everyday existence, and a low life expectancy. Medical services were almost non existent as were educational services, but a bus did come through once a week sometimes, if you were lucky, but that was privately owned as well so the fares were prohibitive so many didn’t bother going to the big town some thirty miles away.

Such was the lot of D’ Gros Cul Estate and most were resigned to the fact that the politicians were firmly in the pocket of the land owners who themselves had a privileged existence and didn’t give a toss about those who were poor and worst still cut any welfare entitlement the villagers may have been able to claim citing scroungers and the workshy as a reason for benefit cuts. So we had the situation of his Lordship benefiting from tax breaks while his tenants were further forced into poverty as part of a cull on the weak and vulnerable.

This was the brave new world promised some time earlier by a bunch of Eton educated twits one or two whom had been at this exclusive establishment with D’ Gros Cul himself. The Government at the time had themselves for a long time been prisoners of the gentrified classes and indeed had been infiltrated by a few of them, with promises of fuck the poor and we will make you also part of our ruling class. So indeed seduced by the mirage of privilege and wealth the thin back boned Guardian reading lefties secomed to the temptation and forgot their wafer thin principles taking a bite of the forbidden fruit and liking the taste decided that indeed being part of the establishment or licking their boots was far better that having to help the poor and weak who could offer nothing, in return for the patronage of the Guardian reading lefties.

So it was that the Guardian reading lefties who had sold their soul for a whiff of air from the upper classes, got kicked out by the very people that promised them their little bit of mana from heaven. But far from regrouping and rebuilding their party from the bottom up they went hell for leather to exclude anyone who even knew a working person and decided to copy their conquerors and select only those who knew little of the life of the average person, and who would have no hesitation in hammering the poor even more but doing it with subtlety as they need the support of the downtrodden masses to get elected before they could begin to crucify them.

So D’Gros Cul and his kind were able to relax in the knowledge that whoever was in power they would be as well, no wonder they loved the democratic process, they owned it. But lo and behold there was revolution in the air and Scotland had elected it’s own executive with the possibility of a referendum to decide whether to stay with the established order or to leave said order. But dear friends there was as you can guess a sting in the tail. For such was the strength of the established order that they would still remain with their inherited wealth, their vast Scottish estates and their glad handing with our wonderful civil listed payed for and also land owning noble Royal family.

So D’Gros Cul would not lose any sleep over an independence debate and vote as he and his kind were safe and insulated from any change that would reduce their power and influence which had been given to them by people who had stolen and killed for it in the first place. The landed gentry and the better classes who we tug our forelocks at and worship as our betters, oh how we are so unworthy realised very quickly that politicians in general were dazzled and easily bought off with wealth and privilege, and had forgotten if they ever knew that most of that inherited wealth had been gained at the expense of the blood and lives of the poor, weak and vulnerable, and indeed if that privilege and wealth were ever threatened from outside then they had a ready made army to defend their way of life and in their thousands die for it under the cloak of democracy.

This dear friends is just a story, or is it you decide. While our rulers enjoy a fine Domaine Jacky Matteau Sauvignon Blanc and chatter amongst themselves on what a great job they are all doing and how our way of life is being preserved, our nation is under siege from all sides, the working people are being hammered, the poor weak and vulnerable are thrown to the wolves, while D’ Gros Cul and his lot are bemoaning the fact that the grouse are not breeding as they used to and his tenants and the like have a vote to decide their future, he is smug enough to realise that whether yes or no he wins.


To Vote Or Not To Vote

Friends and readers.

Recently the Inverleith Neighbourhood Partnership met which is open to the public, and to that end is of public record. According to a member of the public that attended the meeting a request for money came from the NEN.

At this point the Chair of the meeting in this case Gavin Barrie would we assume ask for declarations of any conflicts of interest, enter at this stage Eddie Thorn and yes our old pal Prada Hinds, Both of whom have direct conflicts of interest as Mr. Thorn is on the NEN board and Mrs. Hinds Husband is also on the board. So simple then neither can vote on this request for cash. Ah not the case. Our old pal Pete Strong we are told advised the chair that they could indeed vote and vote they did, in favour of the cash hand out of course.

Former banker, yes we said banker Mr. Thorn not only has a seat on the board but is also a card carrying member of the Labour Party, good for him. Mr. Thorn is also involved with the Blackhall Community Council, works for the Church of Scotland and has a seat on their board as well, busy boy. We wonder if Mr. Thorn and pal of Lesleys can enlighten us on the generous donations in excess of £50,000 that the NEN allegedly received or was it mana from Heaven.

Our mate Pete gave incorrect information to Councillor Barrie with regards to conflict of interest, and why would he do that, surely he knows the rules but clearly that doesn’t matter when it’s a cooked up deal between pals. We understand from a reliable source that former councillor Stuart McIvor has been pushing for an investigation into the financial running of the NEN and as we understand an Investigation is ongoing.

Once again when Labour get anywhere near anything they twist it round to suit themselves and their in post pals help them out. But Pilton Sucks is back in business and we will hold these individuals to account. We applaud the efforts of Mr. McIvor in his attempt to get to the bottom of this murky business and we offer our support if required The NEN as many people know was a Labour Party broadsheet by any other name and nothing has changed, Pilton Sucks on the other hand is neutral of any political leanings and cannot be bought and will continue to speak out on issues,  bringing to the public attention issues that others would try to hide.

Under Orders

Friends and readers.

We at Pilton Sucks enjoy a sporting wager and to that end we offer up the runners and riders for the Edinburgh North and Leith constituency as the holder of this seat, our good friend and regular sucks reader Malcolm Chisholm has all but announced he will be stand down come the next Scottish Parliamentary elections.

Malcolms imminent announcement will kick start a furious blood and guts race to grab the Nomination. At this point we have to say that our mate Malcolm is well thought of  and will in human terms be a hard act  to follow.

So let’s have a little fun and speculate who might be a candidate or emerge as the official candidate with a wafer thin majority to defend. One name comes out immediately and that of course is our old friend and regular sucks reader, Harvey Nics account holder and designer darling Lesley Prada Hinds. Now it’s commonly known within the comrades closeted world that there is no love lost between Malcolm and Prada, but there’s no stopping our Lesley and a mere detail like that will only make her more determined to bring a curtain down on all her other parliamentary losses and try and bag a potential winner. Pilton Sucks makes Lesley’s chances at 4-1

Next up we have Leith Councillor and another sucks reader Gordon Munro. Privately Gogsie is frustrated at being overlooked for the heady heights of Holyrood and is bound to be a runner in this race. Apart from some slimy activities gogsie must fancy his chances and we offer our mate at 7-2

Next up is our good friend Cammy cuddly Day. Cammy is the new Forth ward dog fouling Czar and what more do you need on your CV than that of dog shit supremo. Cammy is ambitious and that’s good but he will have to contend with Pradas wrath and that may be a nomination to far. Cammy is quietly building himself ground support and we have to say with his showing at the local elections he must be in with a shout. We offer our dog fouling Czar at 5-2 and early market favourite.

Of course there may be more comrades interested in this soon to be vacated seat and with that we add that our odds may fluctuate from time to time. We also add that ala Alex Ferguson Malcolm may have a say in who gets the nomination. There are a few hurdles left in this race yet.

Designed to Kill

Friends and readers.

Our old pal and regular sucks reader Lesley Prada Hinds, was recently spotted wide grin on face coming out of Russell and Bromleys, snazzy bag in hand, no doubt with yet another pair of neck breaking stilettos.  The Chair of everything has a passion for designer gear, and with tongue in cheek we are told would rather Chair one of her many Committee portfolios in Harvey Nics rather that the dreary City Chambers.

Nevertheless the enemy of wooden floor layers everywhere strides on regardless with a parliamentary seat firmly in her steely gaze. We are told there is a by election due shortly in Mongolia East, perhaps our old pal Prada would like to put herself forward for that selection and nomination meeting, might even be able to claim expenses for it, first class of course. Now here’s a thought, if Prada got the nomination she could have Labour stalwart and fellow designer freak Pete Strong as her election agent, we could get rid of them both at the same time. We can always live in hope.

Back We come

Hello friends and readers.

It’s been a while but we are back to report all that is going on plus the juicy bits.Some of our old friends are here and we have some new ones, lucky us. Our old friend and compulsive sucks reader Lesley prada Hinds is still here, just like an old penny, keeps turning up, and the Chair of everything committee has her sights set on the Leith and North Edinburgh seat currently occupied by another of our old friends and readers Malcolm Chisholm, who we are told on the quite will retire before the next election, allowing the comrades to slug it out for the right to lose the seat at the next election. But dear friends that is a little way off and Prada will have some competition for the upcoming vacancy, so we will watch this one with interest.  It’s where to begin as we are spoilt for choice. We could start with another of our old friends the current Neighbourhood manager and best dressed man in Pilton Peter[fuck democracy]Strong, who with his minions have been slowly dismantling the Neighbourhood partnership in the name of democracy of course and wiping away any accountability possible, but we will hold our enthusiasm for that one till later. We could of course talk about the scandal of the £85,000 for a private car park in Muirhouse but we will contain ourselves for the moment. Our in tray is bulging with goodies and our readers are thirsty for news and we will deliver warts and all. The promised new health center in Muirhouse, or should we say the vanishing new health center in Muirhouse. The Shopping center scandal and the monies wasted, but again we will return to that. And Peter what happened to the proposed scheme to have cctv cameras on the walkways, something we are reliably informed was well supported by the community but was binned, so do we want safety or a private car park, answers on a postcard please.

We have new friends and readers to delight you with and a cast Cecil B DeMille would have died for. Enter the gladiator and peoples pretend friend all bright eyed and bushy tailed Ross McEwan who has been giving us all his vision of an outdoor swimming pool in Granton, yes friends an outdoor swimming pool in Granton and to top it all and send you into fits of laughter it has the priceless name of Granton sur mer ,   you just couldn’t make that up. Our friend Ross has been creeping his way round the Community trying to gather support for this hair brained scheme, and friends he even managed to screw £10,000 from the Lottery fund to have one of these infamous consultation exercises, still waiting with bated breath Ross and we are sure the Lottery people are as well.

Ah so much to say A new community centre to replace the old one down sunny Royston Way,  yes good news and long overdue until you try to get access or a cup of tea, both of which seem to be difficult to do, so we will watch that one also. Just on that point the new Centre is now managed by Lydia[can't stand the punters] Markam, hope we spelt that right let us know Lydia if we didn’t. And let us not forget Spartans who have a brand new purpose built facility up in Pilton Drive and a wonderful facility it is, we just have one question for the moment. This facility has Community Status which of course is the gateway for monies and income streams, why then does the Community only get lip service from this Community Academy. Douglas Samual is the current manager and maybe he has one or two questions to answer along with his pal and Chair Craig Graham, we have an immediate view split the club and the academy and have a Chairperson for the academy and one for the football club, saves confusion and we have the very person in mind.

That’s it for now folks but stay with us and read on. Pilton Sucks is back and not before time.