Out With A Bang

Friends and readers.

2018 is upon us and all to play for yet again. The squibs went off good style and not a sign of the Hogmany stalwart Jackie plastic Bird, she was otherwise occupied being miserable in sunny Glasgow clearly wishing she was somewhere else, but hey the moneys good so mixing with the punters is a price our Jackie had to pay.

Over on STV was something that went beyond rubbish, a revamped version of the worst television show in living memory Thingamajig, so bad it made riveting viewing, there are few words to describe how bad this was, made standing in princess street freezing your bollocks off with somebody pissing in your pocket seem like a pleasant evening even at £25 quid a pop.

It will be interesting to see the final figure minus Underbelly’s cut, but if the City benefits then good job.

Edinburgh’s Hogmany shows the City in good light and with the event going off without a hitch then it was a good advertisement for the City so well done to all involved. The same can’t be said for the trash offered to the viewing punter on STV, what a disaster and badly staged managed as well. Brought back memory’s of the bad old days when the visiting punter should they have had a TV in their hotel room or the stay at home punter switched on to see the Gay Gordons [that's a dance friends] or the Dashing White corporal or is it sergeant recorded in July for viewing on Hogmany.

Once again STV bought the cheap seats while the BBC even with the party animal Jackie plastic Bird looking like misery personified gave the viewing punter an enjoyable evening going between the two main gigs in Edinburgh and Glasgow. All in all the BBC saved Scotland’s skin and may well pay dividends in tourist bucks.

For the rest Xmas TV was worse than shit and many would have prayed for the Great Escape to be slotted in such was the crap that was dished up, not everybody has the money pit of SKY TV to view the latest drivel on offer. Forgettable comes to mind but we did get the Wizard of Oz, that yellow brick road must have more cracks and potholes than the pavements and streets of Auld Reekie. We did get an omnibus edition of the Antiques road trip and if we see another of these smug bastards crowing on about how much this or that is worth we will throw our imitation silver plated ash tray at the fuckin TV screen.

You could buy a bumper edition of the TV or Radio Times which falls apart after a couple of thumb throughs even the staples that hold them together are shit, to select which of the repeated delights to watch. If you had freeview on your flat screen HD TV then you would have had even more channels of shit to choose from, three days of carry on films is more than anyone can take plus the umpteenth repeat of Minder or the professionals. You really had to search to find something that was not a repeat and you knew things were bad when the Xmas edition of Songs Of Praise started to look attractive.

The usual James Bond films which are mildly entertaining even if you have seen them a few times, at least they offered sanctuary for a couple of hours. If watching the Royal family walking to church is your thing then we were treated to it several times with the mug punters who queue up to flag wave desperate to get a glimpse of the new royal bride to be, exciting eh, made a family Xmas dinner seem digestible. We had the usual Morcambe and Wise clips but at least they are funny and stand the test of time.

Then came the great gong giveaway with the great and the good getting knighted or dame hooded or whatever it’s called with a smattering of gongs for the underlings just to show the elite are in touch with the common punter. Nick Clegg getting a Knighthood took some swallowing but after all he and his mob propped up the ruling class so it’s the least they can do.

So it’s almost back to reality and the usual shit on TV, nice to see some things never change.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.