Santa’s A Fat B—–d

Friends and readers.

It’s hypocrisy of the highest level for the Tories to moan about a small increase in tax for the better off while they cut benefits for the sick and disabled. Almost daily story’s come out about real suffering and death caused by these dreadful cuts to those who need help the most. We as a society have witnessed barbaric cruelty inflicted by the Tories on the most vulnerable while the wealthy have flourished and off shore tax havens do a roaring trade.

The Tories are starving the poorest to death and when they have finished they will come for the low paid and those struggling to make ends meet. Never in our recent history has so much been taken from those who have little to give and can’t fight back or run off to far flung lands to hide their dosh.

Just listening to these hopeless inadequate’s in the Holyrood Parliament moaning and bitching about a small increase in tax to the better off, makes you wonder what planet they live on, what’s worse is that the stupid fuckers who voted for them in Scotland kept them in Government in Westminster, we hope you are all proud of yourselves and we hope you never have to suffer the pain your lot are inflicting on the weakest of our citizens.

The barbaric ideology that the Tories so worship has massively divided the nation and has brought clearly into view how much they hate the poor and needy.

Such has been the awful state of the Labour party they could only make a dent in the Tories domination while being absolutely feeble at Holyrood, and now with the woolly jerseyed Guardian readers in the guise of Momentum the new Militant tendency gathering strength within the Labour movement, they do not have their own problems to seek, and given what happened to the whole Labour movement when the poison of Militant spread within the movement, we see the possibility of history once again repeating itself.

The media pander to the cult of wealth and celebrity and bow down to adore these nonentities who flaunt their lifestyle while many of our citizens have no home, no means of getting one, little or no hope despite the propaganda to the contrary, and left to the mercy of a Government run welfare state which is now being used as a weapon to strike those who need our help the most.

This is the Tory run Britain of the 21st century, pay homage to the elite while causing devastation to anyone who dares ask for help.



Friends and readers.

We have now had the SNP’s Holyrood budget and we must say that it rang the right note, well apart from the Daily Mail readers. It’s mildly progressive and coupled with free prescriptions, elderly bus pass and such like we are on the right track. We would only say that those at the top end got off lightly as they always do, but these are the punters who will moan the most.

Harvie and his green lot are holding out for £145 million more for local Government so he’s selling his vote cheaply as three or four times that amount would barely have covered what’s needed to start to reverse all the cuts local Government are having to make.

But here’s a novel idea. Why not introduce a special tax for local authority fat cat officials earning over £50,000 a year and there’s plenty of them, for every £1 they earn over £50,000 they would pay 50p of it in tax which would go directly back into local Authority services. Local Authority’s are now overly bloated with high earning faceless officials earning outrageously high salary’s for what they are supposed to be doing, yet we the mug punter voters don’t see any dividend for this block of high earners.

If they don’t like it they can leave and see if anybody else in the real world will pay them what they are getting from our local authority’s. Now there’s a radical plan plowing money back into services taken from the inflated pay packets of fat assed officials.

For any tax system to be fair it must clamp down on those who cheat the system and close down the gaping holes which encourage tax dodging. It has to start from the top down not the other way round. The SNP budget makes a start in the right direction but it’s only a toe in the water to test the temperature. Too many cheats are allowed to steal from the nation and it is those at the bottom who always suffer.

The SNP’s idea to form an energy company is a good one but where is the blue print, when will it get on stream and stop people getting robbed by the energy cartel who rub their greedy hands together in glee the colder the weather becomes. these are the real enemies of the state, the state that sold off our energy to the private sector and overnight made us a prisoner of those who care not a jot about how hard it is to find the money to pay their rip off bills, and yes once again it’s those at the coal face who have to struggle in order to survive.

The mug punter voters are currently being brain washed by Xmas shit, being teased into spending money they don’t have, by those that do. In reality it’s fuckin bull shit but it detracts the minds of the people for a little while and fills their heads full of crap. It’s a race to see who can spend the most and many are caught up in that race, only to find when the this manufactured smiley face time is over and reality has returned we are broke and what do we have to show for it.

So when you are sitting down to your over done Turkey with all the ghastly trimmings and have managed to find something on the telly which is either not a repeat or wasn’t recorded in the height of Summer, remember once it’s all over the war against the poor starts again where it left off.

How Much!

Friends and readers.

There is little to be merry and bright about but Sucks aims to at least try and make you smile, so here’s a few bits and pieces.

On Christmas Eve, Nathan thought it would be nice to buy his girlfriend a little gift for the next day. Always short of money, he thought long and hard about what that present might be’

Unable to decide, Nathan entered Debenhams and in the cosmetics section he asked the girl, ‘How about some perfume?’ She showed him a bottle costing £75. ‘Too expensive,’ muttered Nathan.

The young lady returned with a smaller bottle for £50. ‘Oh dear,’ Nathan groused, ‘still far too much.’

Growing rather annoyed at Nathan’s meanness, the sales girl brought out a tiny £10 bottle and offered it to him.

Nathan became really agitated, ‘What I mean’, he whined, ‘is I’d like to see something really cheap.’

So the sales girl handed him a mirror.

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.

Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should have known… ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

Alex was five; all his Christmas presents were always signed, ‘from Father Christmas.’

A little while after Alex had opened all his presents on Christmas morning, we became aware that he was looking quite down in the mouth for no obvious reason.

‘What’s the matter, Al?’ I asked.

‘Ummmm, ‘replied Alex slowly, ‘I really hoped that you and Mummy would give me something for Christmas.’

Trust Him?
On the Sunday before Christmas Reverend Scott was walking along Boswall Parkway in Edinburgh on his way to see a parishioner. However, he wanted to post a parcel urgently so he asked a young boy where he could find the post office. When the boy had directed him, Reverend Scott thanked him and said, ‘If you’ll come to the Church this evening, you can hear me telling everyone how to get to heaven.’

The boy replied, ‘I think I’ll give your sermon a miss. If you don’t even know your way to the post office, how will you lead me to heaven?’

It was Christmas Eve and a woman was anxiously picking over the last few remaining turkeys in the butchers in the hope of finding a large one.

In desperation she called over a shop assistant and said, ‘Excuse me. Do these turkeys get any bigger?’

‘No, madam, ‘he replied, ‘they’re all dead.’

Lets Wing It

Friends and readers.

Once again word is reaching the ears of the ever alert Pilton Sucks your favourite blog site that bullying took place at the West Granton/West Pilton Community Council and once again we ask the victim to come forward and tell their story to Pilton Sucks and we will publish it. Our very reliable source tells us that bullying indeed took place and on more than one occasion. Our source also tells us that the victim of this bullying was a Community Councillor but did not know their name.

This situation is unacceptable and needs firm action to ensure that this type of behaviour is dealt with and volunteers are not discouraged from coming forward to be Community Councillors. Once again we repeat that if the victim of this bullying campaign wishes to come forward to Pilton Sucks we will go to print.

The Ghost of Council Past

Friends and readers.

A note came across the desk of Pilton Sucks the other day and we almost put it in the in tray till we caught sight of the name on the note and we went white with fright. It couldn’t be could it, no surely not so one of our brave souls locked themselves in the toilet to read the note and digest it’s contents.

She returned to the Sucks fold practically speechless but managed to utter the dreaded word Hinds. What we screamed in horror, she’s not making a come back already. Fortunately no, thank heavens for small mercy’s, but dear friends it’s not all good news as it seems according to the handwritten unsigned note Prada’s better half smartie Martie has been attending Labour group meetings, what as we ask since our old mate Lesley no longer represents herself in Chambers and has retired to private life to spend more time in the darker arts.

Smartie Martie must be renewing his Socialist credentials or something like that but surely he would want to spend more quality time with the designer Queen herself than listen to the meandering utterances of the junior coalition partners. Mind you it must be an education of one sort or another listening to Labours new resident expert on everything Scottie the leak Arthur. Or could it be that the dedication to Socialist principles which helped towards the home extension is the magnet that drags smartie Martie to the Labour group meetings, bet the squint tie one is delighted.

Just as Cammy thought he had shed himself of the chains which prada had wrapped round him and grabbed the comfy chair which Andy pandy burns had warmed up for him, smartie Martie walks in the door, you can just imagine the look on the squint tie one’s face, poor old Cammy just as he gets the comfy seat his nemesis in the form of smartie Martie haunts the Labour group rooms, no justice Cammy.

It’s A Nice View From Up Here.

Friends and readers.

As you know the nations favourite blog site Pilton Sucks is always on the look out for new friends and to welcome them into the Sucks family.
Well we have ourselves a new Sucks devotee in the shape of up and coming Labour Councillor Scott the leak Arthur. Our new mate Scott Labour Councillor for the socialist hotbed of Fairmilehead/Colinton tells all his devoted readers on his own blogsite that even though he has only been a comrade for three years he has found his feet, presumably after years of looking in the wrong place Scottie, try the end of your legs that’s were they usually are.

Scottie we are reliably informed is an expert on everything with experiences to die for, so why on earth did he join the top back stabbing club in the country, clearly Scottie didn’t have that experience, well wait on Scottie it’s coming right round the bend. Our old mate and new Labour grandie Cammy squint tie Day must love this guy, an expert on everything and can’t wait to tell his adoring public of decisions taken in Council seconds after they are taken or before depending on your poison.

Rumour has it that Scottie wants to break the Coalition and side with the Tories, maybe he is one in disguise, but didn’t have his old school tie with him so joined Labour instead. Strong rumour has it that Scottie is a bit of a know all so it must be a walk in the park dealing with corrupt officials in Edinburgh shity Council since he will be an expert on how the Council is run.

We are delighted to welcome Scottie the leak Arthur into the Sucks family and we look forward to our travels together. Could it be we might have found a replacement for the legendary Lesley Prada Hinds.

Red Monday

Friends and readers.

Twas the month before Christmas and nobody gave a fuck, the credit cards are red hot and debt is piling up and that’s before the winter fuel bills pop through the letter box. Don’t think half shut May will be on the EU xmas card list and certainly not Ireland’s xmas card list.

Brexit is a mess so lets have another referendum just for the hell of it and see what happens. Think we should all head for the jungle because sooner or later we will all be eating bugs and shit like that given the state of play. While Hammond gives a paltry 2.5 billion to the NHS he gave away over 4 billion to the banks, fuck the sick and needy lets keep capitalism afloat and our mates in the City.

Business is vying for the nearest exit door and we will be left with what the Tories have always desired, a low wage low skilled slave labour economy with only the elite cushioned against the long cold winter of isolation. All that has been fought for over centuries will be diluted by these right wing tossers who will disappear like snow off a dyke to their own comfortable surroundings leaving the rest of us to suffer the consequences of a decision that was based on fraudulent lies and deceit.

This nation Scotland apart was conned into voting leave, and conned by the very people who hate the thought of ordinary citizens having any kind of rights, rights that were not given to us but had to be fought for, now they will just be surrendered to a group of nutters who lied and won. Today’s youngsters could be tomorrows slaves with less rights than their parents and grandparents and out in the cold with no-one to turn to and at the mercy of the murderous capitalist thugs who will rob, cheat and exploit them and let them burn in the fire of poverty.

You can listen to all the arguments as to how better off we will be outside the EU, and the crap of how we can be free to do our own deals and that countries will flood our doors begging for trade deals, but all you will have to do is look at your own living standards, and even by this hopeless Governments own figures they will drop. Prices have started to creep up and the reason used is the brexit factor, some are of course profiteering and using brexit as an excuse to screw the punters but that will become the norm as we get closer to the exit door.

The Irish won’t stand for a hard border and why should they, and the good Friday agreement looks fragile and under threat. Someone once said ”forgive them father for they know not what they do”, given the current circumstances maybe the guy who said that was a bit ahead of his time but boy was he right on the money.

We need to reverse this impending suicide and it’s not to late, the good will is there amongst fellow EU countries. We must come to our senses before we flush future generations opportunities down the toilet and head back to a darker age when we were kicked and thumped into submission by the little Englanders who felt they had a devine right to rule. For those who voted to leave just think again and take a look at what’s unfolding in front of us and who’s doing the unfolding, the very Government and party who hate the thought of any rights for ordinary working people. Their whole philosophy is based on divide and rule, these are the punters who believe in a privileged elite, it’s in their fuckin DNA and we or a majority did, just handed them the keys of absolute rule regardless of who wins a General Election.

We as a nation are drowning and these fuckers have all the life jackets and they are keeping them, but promising better weather to come, you can trust us. Half shut May and her back stabbing brigade will be gone soon back to their comfortable leafy suburbs and won’t give a toss about the consequences of their actions, but we will have to live daily with them and suffer because of them.

Liers, cheats, defrauders and they conned a nation into pushing the self destruct button. Who are the winners in all this because it is certainly not Joe citizen it never is but it was Joe citizen that threw the snowballs that were made by the con artists that will ultimately put us at serious risk of a permanent winter.

TIE. The Idle Elite.

Friends and readers.

For a long time Pilton Sucks has been saying that The TIE [Transport Initiative Edinburgh] board should be in the dock over the Tram scandal, we named the lot of them on this very site and urged Hardie and his team to go after them.

Now it seems at least someone in the shape of former bus boss Neil Renilson is speaking up. We have always known that Edinburgh shity Council is full of lying conniving and arrogant officials, nothing new there and they are still at it unchecked by this new administration. But to Mr. Renilsons credit he like Sucks has the balls to name names.

He states TIE was run by incompetent people, yes but who put them in post and why. He also said that Willie Gallagher was out of his depth, something Sucks said some time ago, and that he was promoted to a position beyond his abilities, yes indeed he was and walked away with a nice payout for being a complete ass. How did that happen.

Project director Ian Kendall was said to be absolute poison, who appointed him and why. Mr Renilson has to be applauded for speaking up on matters some people including Pilton Sucks already knew about but were not listened to. We said Hardie could have had all the info he needed by reading Pilton Sucks and saved the taxpayer a fortune into the bargain. These criminals should be made to pay back the handouts that they ran off with and charged with fraud and embezzlement, but they won’t be and if this present lot with some exceptions get their way then even more taxpayers money will be wasted on an unwanted extension at a time when services are under severe threat and attack.

The Tram system was a disaster from start to finish and we will be paying for it for a very long time to come and some imbeciles on the City Council want to waste even more taxpayers money on an extension, they should be given a heavy dose of Valium and sent to lie in a darkened room. Sucks says that if any of the elected members in the North of the City are in favour of this madness then they should be removed from office at the first available opportunity. We the citizens are being forced against our will to have this extension and you just know that it will be another mess if it’s allowed to go ahead.

There is even less experience this time around and there is no business case robust or any other kind, it’s a con trick which nobody except the anoraks are falling for. Those elected members in favour of this madness should have their names published and asked to explain their decision in light of the current financial circumstances. We have to stop electing punters because of a party emblem as with one or two exceptions we end up with the rubbish we have now, and it’s Joe citizen as always that pays the price. Small groups of party hacks select or have foisted upon them in even smaller rooms candidates who, with certainly one or two exceptions and they are every much the minority know little or nothing about the punters they propose to represent but make decisions that have profound negative effects on us as a whole.

To allow these people to impose a financial anchor around the City’s neck is sheer folly at best and insanity at worse. This City has suffered for so long with corrupt officials and incompetent politicians a lethal mixture which has crippled this City and the same thing is on the verge of happening again.

I’m A Chancer Get Me Out Of Here.

Friends and readers.

So our mate and Sucks readers Kezia dead loss Dugdale is on route to the jungle for a dalliance with the wild life and the z list celeb’s.
We say good luck to her and well done for swapping one rodent ridden jungle for another. No doubt she will take her bush tucker trails seriously before coming back to join back up with the other critters in Holyrood.

But she needn’t have gone that far because we have our own jungle right here in the North of the City with it’s very own bush tucker trails and our own cast of chancers.

Sitting round their very own campfire made out of soiled mattresses and other such combustible delights is our band of distinguished chancers waiting to see who is chosen to take on the arduous task of ”Dodging the Column”. This task involves ensuring that you say all the right things but do as little as possible thereby creating a mirage of make believe, in this our pleasant winter wonderland.

If you succeed in this task you will have created an illusion which nobody believes anyway, and if you don’t or in truth can’t be bothered just shout out ”I’m a chancer get me out of here”

Round the camp fire in their winter woollies hoping they don’t get selected to do something is,

Our number one fan Cammy squint tie Day, throwing another mattress stuffed with Evening news on the fire is huge Sucks fan Ellie flighty Bird, then we have Lottery holiday fan Willie Community Socialist Black, sitting quietly toasting his ass at the fire and praying he gets the planning convenorship back as he needs the money Ian yeah yeah Perry. Lesley prada Hinds was invited for old times sake but declined citing that she’d rather watch the real thing on her 55 inch HD 3D with 140 free channels of shit to choose from LED TV, a retirement present from an anonymous source. Then we have Ricky flatulence Henderson under real pressure in his current role he felt that sitting round the dodgy fume giving off fire was the lesser of two evils. There are two late arrivals Tommy Pinocchio Sheppherd but he wants his payment in cash no questions asked, and hoping to arrive on a Tram but had to walk most of the way our new best friend Adam head scratcher McVey.

Covering this for the media is former Sucks favourite but still an enthusiastic supporter is news hound Steve jambo Cardownie, thanking his lucky stars that he retired just in time to avoid the new intake and wondering how did that happen.

Neck And Neck

Friends and readers.

Our very popular prat of the year contest is proving to be a winner this year with 6 nominations to date. We will leave the nomination list open for another few days and close it on Friday 24-11-17. We will list the nominees on Friday.